Blame it on the Fly, Marline [scary books to read txt] 📗

7th December 2011 - Nottinghamshire, England

An old man in a wheelchair caused an enormous racket yesterday on Chain Lane, Nottinghamshire, England. While he bent down to zip up his fly that had been slipping down like an elevator gone wild, he inevitably leaned forewords and set his wheelchair into motion down the steep Chain Lane.

While desperately attempting to stop his wheelchair, and of course, still striving to pull up his fly, he quickly gained momentum until he was zooming past trash containers, narrowly avoiding being hit by a splash of rotten milk that an old lady had thrown from the second story window. Realising that he was heading straight for a busy road, the old man decided to fully focus his attention and strength on stopping his wheelchair instead of dividing his concentration between his fly and saving his life. Looking up, the old man realized that ahead of him was a woman who could be his potential lifesaver, though she did look a little weak and fragile, sitting on the side of the road. As the busy road was coming closer and closer, panic started gripping the old man and he focused his complete attention on flailing his arms and hoping that someone would stop his wheelchair in time. The woman on the side of the road was still his greatest hope. As he whizzed past her, instead of helping him she yelled: “Sir, before you die, pull up your fly!”

This statement caused huge controversy among the onlookers. Just before the old man helplessly plunged into a frenzy of cars and motorcycles on the busy larger road, two men carrying a mattress crossed Chain Lane and the old man was effectively saved from spending the night at the hospital. A psychiatrist was called to the scene because the first words the old man uttered, after his miraculous saving, were: “Now I can finally pull up my fly!”

Publication Date: 12-08-2011

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