The Ten Pleasures of Marriage<br />and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple, A. Marsh [great book club books .txt] 📗

Mistriss, and that in time he questions not th' obtaining his desired happiness; immediately, that imagined joy, is crush'd with an insuing despair; being presently molested with a fear, that Father, Mother, Uncle, or Tutor will not like his person, or that he has not means enough; or else either they, or the Gentlewoman, will make choice of another in his place. Or, if he sees another have access to the Lady as well as himself, at the same moment he's possessed with jealousie, and falls a pondering how he shall make this Rival odious in the eys of her. And if the other get any advantage of him; then he challenges him to fight; hazarding in that manner his precious life, for the getting of her, who when he had her, would perhaps, occasion him a thousand torments of death and misery. Pray observe what pleasures this introduction imparts unto us; alas, what may we then expect from the marriage it self?

Really, those that will take this into due consideration, who would not but curse the Gentlewoman that draws him into such a raging madness? yet Lovers go forward, and please your selves with this imagined happiness; but know, that if according to your hope, you obtain her for a Bride, that at the least you must expect a sence and feeling of the Ten insuing Pleasures.

Folio 10.
Published by the Navarre Society, London.

THE FIRST PLEASURE. The Consent is given, the Match concluded, and the Wedding kept.

ow, O Lover, till this time you have been indeavouring, slaving, turmoiling, sighing, groaning, hoping and begging to get from those slow and tardy lips, that long-wish'd for word of Consent; you have also sent many messengers to your Mistriss, to her Parents and Tutors, who were as able to express themselves as the best Orators, but could obtain nothing; yet at last that long desired Word, is once descended by the Draw-bridge of her lips, like a rich cordial upon your languishing heart. You have vanquish'd all your Rivals. Oh who can imagine your joy! What you think, or what you do, still your thoughts glance upon your happiness! your Mistriss now will be willing; denials are laid aside: only ther's a little shame and fear, which canot of a sudden be so totally forgotten, because the marriage is not yet concluded. Well, O Lover, who could desire a greater happiness then you now possess! For what you will, she will also: and what she desires, is all your pleasure. You may now tumble in a bed of Lillies and Roses; for all sour looks, are turn'd to sweet smiles, and she that used to thrust you from her, pulls you now every foot to her. Yea, those snow-white breasts, which before you durst scarce touch with your little finger; you may now, without asking leave, grasp by whole handfuls. Certainly, they that at full view, consider all this rightly; who can doubt but that you are the happiest man in the World? O unspeakable pleasure!

But, O triumphant Lover, let not however your joyfull mind run too much upon these glistering things: be a little moderate in your desired pleasures, if it might happen that there come some cross-grain'd obstructions; for I have oftentimes seen, that all those suspected roses, come forth with many pricking thorns; insomuch that the mouth which at first was saluted with so many thousand kisses, and appear'd as if it had been cover'd with the dew of heaven; was compared to be the jaws of Cerberus. And those breasts, which before were the curded Nacter-hills, and called the Banket of the Gods, I have seen despised to be like stinking Cows-Udders, I, and call'd worse names to boot. Be therefore, (I say) somewhat moderate and prudent, for fear it might happen that the prices of this market might fall very suddenly, though perhaps not so horribly.

Nevertheless you have great reason to be merry, for this week, 'tis hop'd there'l be a meeting to close up the match; and it is requisite, that you should go unto all the friends, that must be present at the meeting, to hear when their occasions will permit them, and what day and hour they will appoint to set upon the business, herewith you have work to traverse the City, and who knows whether you'l find half of them at home. And then those that you do find, one is ready to day, another to morrow, a third next day, or in the next week. So that by this first Pleasure, you have also a little feeling of the first trouble. Which, if you rightly consider, is to your advantage, because you may the better use your self to the following. And of how greater State and Quality the person is whom you have chosen, so accordingly this trouble generally happens to be more.

But the mirth increases abundantly; when, after your indeavours, troubles and turmoils, you finally see all the friends met together, and you doubt not but the match will be closed and agreed upon. But be here also a little moderate in your mirth, because oftentimes the friends handle this matter like a bargaining; and will lay the mony bags of each side in a balance, as you may see by the Plate.

In the mean while you may be kissing and slabbering of your Mistris in the next room; or contriving what's to be done about the marriage, and keeping of the Wedding; but perhaps, through the discord of the friends, it will not be long before you are disturb'd; the differences oft rising so high, that the sound thereof, clatters through the Walls, into the ears of the Lovers. For many times the Portion of one is too great, and what's given with the other is too little; or that the Parents of the Bridegroom, promise too little with their Son; and the Brides Parents will give too little with their Daughter. Or else that by some subtle Contract of Matrimony, they indeavour to make the goods of each side disinheritable, &c. So that it appears among the friends, as if there could be nothing don in the matter.

And in plain truth, the Parents and friends, who know very well that it is not all hony in the married estate; see oftentimes that it were better for these two to remain unmarried, then to bring each other into misery; and can find no grounds or reasons, but rather to disswade then perswade the young folks to a marriage.

But tho, on each side, they use never such powerfull arguments, to the young people, 'tis to no purpose; for there's fire in the flax, and go how it will, it must be quencht. For the maid thinks, if this match should be broke, who knows but that all the freedom that we have had with one another, might come to be spread abroad, and then I am ruined for ever. And the young man, seeing that his Mistris is so constant to him, not hearkning to the advice of her friends, is so struck to the heart with such fiery flames of love, that he's resolved never to leave her, tho he might feed upon bread and water, or go a begging with her: So, that he saies, Bargain by the Contract of Matrimony for what you will, nay tho you would write Hell and Damnation, I am contented, and resolve to sign it: but thinking by himself, with a Will all this may be broken, and new made again: hardly beleeving, that this fair weather, should be darkned with black clouds; or that this splendent Serenissimo, would be obstructed by Eclipses.

But finally, there comes an appearance of the desired pleasure; for the knot is tied, and the Publick Notary doth at large and very circumstantially write the Contract of Matrimony, which is signed by both parties. Oh Heavens! this is a burthen from my heart, and a Milstone removed out of the way. Here's now right matter for more then ordinary mirth; all the friends wish the young couple much joy; about goes a health, the good success of the marriage, and every one wishing them tubs full of blessings, and houses full of prosperity,

If ev'ry one that wish, did half but give,
How richly this young couple, then might live.

Yet it e'en helps as much as it will; if they get nothing, they lose nothing by it. And thinking by themselves, you'l in time see what it produces. Then if there be but one among them who is talkative, and that by drinking merrily the good success of the approaching marriage, his tongue begins to run; he relates what hapned to him at the closing of his marriage, keeping of his wedding, and in his married estate; and commonly the conclusion of his discourse is, that he thought at first he had the World at will; but then there came this, and then that, and a thousand other vexatious things, which continually, or for the most part of the time with great grief and trouble had kept him so much backward, that it was long before he could get forward in the World.

Well, Mr. Bridegroom, you may freely tickle your fancy to the top, and rejoice superabundantly, that the Match is concluded; & you have now gotten your legs into the stocks, and your arms into such desired for Fetters, that nothing but death it self can unloosen them.