Remembering Sunday, Yaquasia McKinney [reading the story of the .txt] 📗

Remembering Sunday


Sunday, is a day for birthdays, holidays and special occasions. But for me it’s the day he left me. He left me in the middle of an audition, an audition that will change my life, and would’ve changed our life, but he left me. Leaving me to change my life; by myself. He was the only thing I had left; now I have nothing. Nothing, no more, no meaning, I am nothing. This Sunday is a Sunday that changed my life this Sunday is a Sunday I will remember.
------------------------------------------------------


Where exactly do we belong? Is it alright to want to belong somewhere? To, fit in? To be accepted for whom we are? To be loved?
Some where beyond the flossy golden clouds, we are drowned within the brightness of the sun. Fuzzy humid air drown the inner lust, howling chilly wind blows though the cold mist, an unexpected chill brush casually across my face; I shiver liberating all that has been on my mind. Here we are driving within the distance of the fair sun. I began to feel a feeling that I’ve felt before, a feeling I recognized so well and closely. This feeling begins to slowly and carelessly move though the veins of my body.
“Is everything okay Hun?”
I turn to see Ian looking at me apprehensively. His amber eyes slowly sinking in to my soul capturing every last element of my thoughts making me susceptible to tell him what’s wrong, but I surmount my fear anyway and lie, lie to the love of my life.
“No everything’s fine.” I flash him a gentle smile sending my tenderness.
“You sure, cause if there’s a problem you can tell me, okay?” His says looking back and forth between me and the road.
“Yeah, I’m fine; I promise.” Continually lying going against my promise. Lies that steal me from the truth, blinding him leisurely.
“Okay, you hungry, there should be a restaurant up the road?”
“Yea, I’m starving.”
------------------------------------------------------

We’ve been driving on this same road for an hour now and my stomach feels like it’s about incline. The sand looks like thousands of really small oats. I can feel the hot moist sand between my toes already. The warmth of it sending warm transitions though my body reminding me of the way Ian looks at me, sinking into my soul capturing my mind.
“Sweetie, I think we’re lost.” The thought that we are no where yet interfere with my thoughts of walking in the sand.
“No, the restaurant is just a little bit up the road Maddie.”
“Ian, just admit it, your GPS sucks.”
“No….. It doesn’t suck…. You just don’t know how a man’s job is done.”
“Yea, it doesn’t take an expert to know that your GPS sucks.”
“Come on Madison, don’t hurt the GPS’s feelings, he has feelings too.”
“Ian, the damn GPS don’t have feelings.” The GPS starts to rumble.
“See you made it cry, or …….”
“No the damn thing broke.” He pounds the GPS; the GPS shuts down.
“Damn thing” Ian mumbles embarrassed.
“Now you owe me a kiss because I told you so.” I smile.
He pulled me in for a hug and leaned down to nuzzle my nose before pressing his lips to mine. At first it was gentle, like he was afraid to hurt me, but as soon as I began kissing him back he responded by pushing me against the car door that was behind me, and kissed me with so much passion that I saw stars. I felt his tongue run across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to let our tongues explore each others mouths. He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled me closer, before pulling away from me completely so we could catch a breath. He then gave me this look, a look that I’ve seen before. Should I?
We move to the back seat. We continue making out. He then gently removes my shirt. I could feel his cold fingers running down my back and to my butt. It felt good, but something made me hesitate. As he did this, I unbuttoned his shirt and he took off his pants. I began to feel hesitation more than before. As this would be my first time. But I couldn’t. If I did I knew he would take me for granted. I aggressively pushed him off of me
“What? Did I do something wrong?” I can feel his eyes watering into tears as he said
“I’m sorry; I promise I won’t do it again” and when he said that I knew that he’ll be there for me, and that he’ll wait for me. I knew that he loved me. He continued
“Look I don’t want to move too fast if you’re not ready, okay? I’ll always love you, and that’s all that mattered.” I can say this feels like a fairy, but something told me this wasn’t. Something told me that this is real and so is he, and that I loved.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to be sorry. I love you too.” Those tears that had been welling up in his eyes had finally over flowed as he picked up my face with his hands.
“I love you.” And he kissed me.
He slowly picked his shirt off of the car floor and tried to make his way back to the driver’s seat. When I grab his arm, pulled his face to mines and kissed him back.
“I love you too.” And started to unbutton his shirt again.
------------------------------------------------------

We lay on top of his car oblivious that the car is parked in the middle of a grassy land that looks like a park. The wind easily, his hands moist, my mind relaxed.
I swiftly turn my head in the direction of a swing set, realizing that we are in a park.
“Come on” he signals his head in the direction mines is.
As we come within reach of the swings he picks me up.
“I love you, do you love me?” His eyes shimmering in the night less sky. Yes I loved him, he knows I love him. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have runaway from home with him, what is he coming upon? What is he trying to say?
“Yes, I love you” His hands relaxing as he’s holding me.
“Would you do anything for me?” What the hell is trying to say?
I wish I could read his mind at this moment. As I can read his mind any other time.
“Yes.” timidly
“You promise?”
“Yes” He plants my feet on the ground and kneels to one knee. What is he doing? Get up? No, don’t. Okay, what is he doing? Please tell me he’s not what….
“Madison Elizabeth Hunter, will you do the honor in marrying me?”
My heart began to skip beats, not sure weather to be happy or not. I should be, but then I shouldn’t.
I’ve always dreamt of getting married, but not like this. Not somewhere in Vegas or any weird place like that. Yes, Yes I’ll marry you. No, No, I’m sorry, but I can’t. Which to choose from? Which to say? What to do? I can’t have him sitting here on one knee.
My face, what’s’ happening? There’s something in my eyes. I take my hand and touch it, a tear of fear. I then did what I did best. I ran, ran away from the love of my life in the middle of nowhere.
I can feel something, a force behind me. He grabs me, my blood becoming cold. I couldn’t look him in the face. For crying out loud I ran away from a proposal I’ve been waiting for since we’ve been together.
“What the heel is wrong with you?” I began to cry even harder. My blood rushing up my veins.
“Are you trying to hurt me? What is wrong with you? We didn’t come all the way out here for nothing.” He yells, my head pounding, I can’t hold any longer.
“What is wrong, sweetie?” He picks my face up. “You can tell me” I looked into his eyes. He’s crying I didn’t mean to hurt him. Is that my intention for everything? I hurt my mom for not becoming her little lawyer. I hurt my friends for not being regular, and I hurt the one that loves me the most no matter what happens because of my mixed emotions. Why is everything I do Hurtful? I began crying harder.
“It all right, let’s wait; let’s wait until it’s the right time”

Publication Date: 05-10-2011

All Rights Reserved