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AS I BREAK THREW THE NIGHT. THEY ASK FOR MY HELP.THEY CALL MY NAME. HOW WILL I EVER MAKE IT RIGHT. IT ALL REMAIN THE SAME.

I stayed in my room all day. i never leave my bed for any reason, i keep my door lock for myself only. i have this problem that if any one talk to me i either scream or i runaway. i cant go to school because of this gift i have. i call it curse. i caught it from my dad when i was 6 years old. he died. we dont know how so dont ask. these vioces call my name at night.astrid is all they say.i cry sometimes to make them go away.
it all remain the same.

They call me for help. but how can i help them and dont help myself. im ill. forever.everyone call me crazy because of these people.i dont know what else to call them. i'll call them monsters but their not in my closet. their in my head. i think.i never sleep. they come after me in dark shadows.i have to cry everday to leave me alone, they never obey my commands. i hate them for ruining my life. they need to go away. forever.

they cant be tamed. they cant be dead. they cant be stupid. because they talk about scary things in my ear. one of them always say a war is coming. what does that mean?

i think it mean that im gonna die. but why not kill me now in that case. i've beento every shrink, doctors, and anything that can help you with this problem. but they all call me specail. all of them. but you know what i will not give up this power to talk to these "people". i need my brain to work. but it wont. im trying to ignore one right now. all it's saying is
"astrid, be brave, a war is coming you need our help," blah balh blah
THEY NEED TO LEAVE ME ALONE.NOW
i never take the madicine that the doctors give me. it make you sleepy and phsycho. my mother is never in the house, she tell her friends that she regrett having me and she want to gie me away to a stranger. you know what i say i dont care. im only 13 for crying out loud. no one can help me. a female ghost(thats what im gonna call these people ghost)always tell me you need love and hope my darling. i always try to follow that ghost but she always disappear and thin air. i call for her to come back but the last words she say is
"astrid". thats my name. why keep saying my name if i cant say yours.

i fell inlove with a ghost before when i was 11 he never came back to say my name. thats a ghost i would to hear my name come out his mouth anytime. but he disappeared in thin air to. my dad say he can hear thim they say that their sorry for haunting us. but they come to help us. we say you come to bring greif and tears to us. they never go away, they never wont to.

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Publication Date: 08-01-2010

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