a pirates field trip, ray rebmann [i love reading .txt] 📗

The Sinister Case of the Field Trip Pirates


The boys groaned when they read the assignment sheet and saw that they were riding

with ancient Mr. Jocelyn for the annual field trip to the metropolitan museum of history.

“He’s still alive!” Huey shouted unhappily.

Mr. J had retired from teaching years ago, but he was still famous in kid legend. And he

still kept showing up at school to help his wife who was still teaching language arts to several

grades.

“He was a teacher here since the Civil War.” Louis chimed in, repeating a favorite kid

legend.

“Yeah, he was George Washington’s Social Studies teacher.” Dewey added, showing his

knowledge of history, placing George Washington at the Civil war.

The three musketeers.

Mr. Coffman the school’s guidance counselor called Huey, Dewey, and Louis that last

year and the name stuck. Of course, the only thing they knew about 3 musketeers was that it was

a candy bar that made your jaw sore chewing through it.

Speaking of candy, the boys were already out of their Halloween stash. Even the

homemade stuff they got from Mrs. J.

They still shuddered when they talked about their close call with death at the J’s.

* * *
Field Trip Pirates --2

The boys were the first kids in history to go to the J’s house for Trick or Treat.

They hoped the worse that would happen would be that Mr. J was one of those pain in the

neck wise guy old man types who always chose “trick” and you end up standing there looking

stupid because you don’t know any tricks you just want your candy in a hurry so you can get on

to the next house to pick up some more loot.

But they didn’t even see the old coot.

It had taken a lot for the boys to get up the nerve to go to the J’s house. The

house was set way off the road in the woods and it was dark back there and the J’s killer son

lived in the attic waiting to pounce on his next victim. Least ways that’s how kid legend told it

down through the centuries.

The Js had to keep on working even though they were way old, just so they could afford

to feed their son the monster in the attic. He ate a steady diet of raw meat. Fresh raw meat and

plenty of it every day.

No one had ever trick or treated at the J’s and lived to talk about it. So this year the 8th

graders dared the three musketeers to do it. The boys never backed down from a dare especially

if taking it would make them big shots with the super cool 8th graders.

The sucky part of the deal was that Huey had to take along Jason, his nerdy kid brother.

Mrs. J had answered the door when Huey finally got brave enough to knock. The old man

was nowhere to be seen. Probably out haunting a house, pestering some ghosts with one of his

legendary pop quizzes.

“Maybe the beast got him.” Dewey whispered pushing Huey in ahead of him.

Jason didn’t even get near the door. The boys told him to hide behind the bushes and wait

Field Trip Pirates --3

because the sissy would cry so loud that it would wake up all the murdered people

buried in the J’s basement.

They looked around nervously, They expected to find a huge punch bowl filled with

smoking poison and knockout drops and a tray loaded with candy apples each containing a rusty

razor blade. They knew there wouldn’t be any bowls of candy. There never are at haunted

houses.

They could tell Mrs J recognized them from school but wasn’t guessing who they were

too fast. She wanted to give Mr J time to sharpen the axe he’d use to butcher them up for their

kid’s midnight snack..

The boys hadn’t put much effort into their costumes, three pig face masks, their bodies

covered with a quilt Huey had snuck out of his mom’s closet (three pigs in a blanket, get it).

After about three seconds, Mrs. J got bored with the trick or treat bit and guessed who they were

Right down to the official school names each hated so much.

After that there wasn’t anything more to say. They all stood there, expecting her to start

yelling at them just like at school, since all she did in class was yell at them.

The boys weren’t exactly top students of hers.

That’s when the eerie music started.

Organ music like in those old fashioned black and white horror movies that are so boring

since no one gets chopped up and there’s no blood or flying body parts splattering the screen.

Then came the ghost sounds. Moaning from the basement, from all the beast’s past

victims.

The last straw was the screams from upstairs. The boys figured the beast had caught their

Field Trip Pirates --4

scent, broken its chains, and was coming after them.

So they quickly scooped up fistfuls of whatever it was Mrs J was holding out on a tray for

them and bashed down the door, making their escape.

Once they were safely outside, the musketeers galloped down the dirt path through the

woods, killer owls hooting all around and blood sucking bats flapping in their faces, and worse

creatures bubbling and gurgling from the bottom of the yucky creek that runs slowly thru the J’s

property.

Louis looked up and saw a light flickering in the attic window and curtains fluttering

back and forth.

The three musketeers broke the Olympic hundred meter dash record getting out of there.

“Did ya see the shadow moving behind the curtain?”

“It was a giant mutant half man, half monster holding an axe.”

“Did ya see the blood stains on the rug in the living room.”

“That’s where the J’s maniac son killed the men who came to take him away to the prison

for the criminally insane.”

They were busy reciting the rest of the kid legend when they spotted the headless giant

coming down the path after them. Tall as a tree, dressed from head to toe in black, the giant was

carrying a lit jack o lantern in his left hand and something sharp and shiny, like an old fashioned

weed whacker in his right.

Faster and faster, closer and closer he came. His legs didn’t move. It was like he was

magically floating off the ground.

Then, it was every man for him self for the three musketeers. They skeedaddled, leaving

Field Trip Pirates --5

poor Jason in their dust.

Funny thing is, the monster passed right by Jason, who was just standing there gawking

through his mask. Instead, it kept after the boys until they were off the J’s place. Then it

turned and slowly passed Jason again, walking this time, real slow and kind of funny like it was

hurt and limping.

Then, it went back in the house. Through the front door, like a human being.

Jason swore he heard muffled laughter coming from deep inside the monster’s belly.

The boys didn’t stop running until they reached home where they caught an earful from

Huey’s mom about leaving Jason out by himself. She jumped in the car and drove them all over

the neighborhood before Huey finally admitted that Jason might be at the J’s house being fed to

their monster in the attic.

She looked at him and several times started to say something then decided it wasn’t

worth it.

She found Jason sitting in the J’s living room drinking hot apple cider and discussing

“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” with MrJ.

The old relic was still alive! The boys looked around nervously, hoping he’d wrestled the

Monster back into his chains up in the attic.

And he had even given Jason one of his musty books, personally autographed

by the J’s personal pal, some guy named Washington Irving. The book’s so old it’ll probably fall

apart the minute Jason opens it, Huey whispered to the other musketeers.

The good news for the boys is that the 8th graders were hanging out like usual, doing

”nothing” yet still getting in trouble. They witnessed the whole thing. It was official. Huey,

Field Trip Pirates --6

Dewey and Louis had trick or treated the J’s and were pretty cool as far as the 8th grade coolest

of cool kids were concerned.

That wouldn’t help matters much for anyone who had to deal with the three musketeers

and their swelled heads from that moment on.

* * *


Field Trip Pirates --7

Mr J was a lot older than his wife. Kid legend had it that he was at least 300 years old. He

had been retired from teaching for a lot of years but his wife still taught in the upper grades, so

he occasionally filled in at school, helping out on special events like field trips.

He especially enjoyed going on the field trips Some of the other teachers were surprised

to see his name on the list for this one since his odd behavior on the last trip to that particular

museum, to see the ancient Viking exhibition.

Several of the students on that trip snitched that Mr. J had put on a horned helmet, sang

real loud in some good awful language sounding like a cat that swallowed a bagful of nails, then

described in vivid detail the burning burial tradition practiced by the Vikings. One or two of the

smaller children mentioned having nightmares involving being trapped on burning Viking ships

after that trip.

Funny thing though, there was a dramatic increase in interest in history for the rest of that

marking period and the middle school kids from _____ scored higher on the state Social Studies

exam that year than any other school in the state.

Huey was disappointed that he was in old Mr. J’s group because Mr. J expected the kids

in his group to stick together with him. Then he moved too slow through the exhibits and stopped

to read and examine each item, which meant that the kids were expected to do the same.

The good news was that his best buds, Louis and Dewey, were in his group. That meant

plenty of fun and