It's Your Baby, Belén Domínguez [books for 10th graders txt] 📗

When I got home, the sun was setting down, leaving trades of pink and red in the sky, if I wasn't feeling like someone was stabbing me, then I would've stop to appreciate the beauty above me. But, with these recent events, all I wanted to do, is go to lock myself in my room, not needing to see the outside world any longer.

 

I finally got inside, just to see my parents and Alec sitting in the couch, in complete silence. My mom came rushing towards me, hugging me tightly. Alec was next, and he placed a kiss on top of my head. “We were so worried for you, sweetie. Alec told us you were crying and–and—”

 

“It's okay, mom, I'm fine. . .” was I? Of course I had to lie in order for her to be calm. I don't want to worry them anymore. It always seems like they have to constantly be asking me if I was okay, or that they were worried for me, and what not. They always need to take care of me, and I hate that. . .I hate that I've become someone that needs to be protected, I don't need that, I truly don't.

 

But ever since I found out about this baby, everyone had stared at me with pity, sympathy, even disappointment. That's the thing about having sex and ending like this, you have the proof that you made your own mistake, you're paying the cruel consequence by showing your disgrace and stupidity to the world. I hugged my dad quickly, and peck Alec's cheek before rushing to my room. I closed the door, letting a heavy sigh.

 

I walked towards my long-length mirror, staring at my reflection. The thing is, I couldn't almost recognize the figure staring back at me. That was not the image I wanted to reflect. I didn't want to cry, specially not because of Finn What he did was terrible, awful, horrible, everything you could possibly imagine, but I should've been strong. I should've looked him in those dazzling eyes and tell him to get the fuck out of my face. To get lost. To leave me the fuck alone. To never speak to me again. But the tears kept rolling down, my voice cracked, and the sobbing was uncontrollable. He played me bad, and while he was out there, probably happy that he got rid of me, I'm here bawling my eyes out.

 

He doesn't care about me; those tweets prove it.

 

He never saw a future with me. Though I went straight to the bait. I bet the only reason why he was sticking around, was because he felt somewhat sorry for me, for being also responsible for the fact that I'm pregnant. I can't believe he was crying too. If he did care about me, he would've been honest towards his fans, towards me.

Having these thoughts, made me want to punch the wall hard enough to break my knuckles. With the pain I'm feeling right now, I feel completely numb towards any type of thing.

 

My heart is already broken.

 

My relationship with him is already done.

 

The perfect life I've always planned since I was a little girl, is already shattered.

 

I walked towards my bed and lied there, staring at the ceiling, I kept thinking of those moments I shared with Finn—the father of this baby, the boy that made me fall for him in a matter of months, even though I claimed multiple times that I hated him to the core. He had a way of crawling into my heart, making me feel special. He made me smile every occasion, making my problems go away.

 

Was he lying when he was kissing me? Or when he was hugging me tightly? Was he lying those times we were together, my head on his shoulder, and he would whisper how much I mean to him? Thinking how he lied made my chest sting with pain all over again. Though, I tried my best to push those thoughts to the back of my head. I closed my eyes tightly, telling myself that I won't open them, and tried to fall asleep. I needed to rest after these past events. I needed the sufficient amount of energy that I lost arguing with the only boy that was capable of ripping my heart out, and tore it in like a billion pieces, all in one single day.

 

Finn's P.O.V

 

I'm not giving up. . .I promised myself I wouldn't do such thing. Most importantly, I promised her I wouldn't. I've never been so sure about something in my entire life. Regret is the worst feeling ever, and I've never felt such emotion until now. The guys were right, hell they were. . .But, I couldn't bare the sight of my poor and sweet Gwen going through such heartbreak, through such pain. I wiped the few tears that escaped my eyes without warning.

 

Currently, I was sitting in one corner of my dark and lonely apartment. No one was home, and it was so quiet you could hear the ticking of the clock in the wall.

 

Tik.

 

Tok.

 

Tik.

 

Tok.

 

Tik.

 

Tok.

 

I don't know how long I've been in that position, curled up in a corner, meditating about all of my choices in how to get her back, in how to make her forgive me. But, it will be tough, what I did is pretty much unforgivable.

 

I squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to focus. Nothing. My mind drifted back to that moment in the park. We were both heavily crying, she stared at me with such disgust, I had to look away from her piercing gaze.

 

Damn, I am an idiot.

 

A very stupid pathetic idiot.

 

I retrieved my phone from my pocket and dialed Cameron's number. I pressed it against my ear, and waited impatiently for him to pick up. I silently sobbed while I waited. It seemed like forever until he picked it up.

 

“C-Cam?” my voice cracked. I knew that I must've been sounding like a crying baby, but you know what? I don't care. I don't care because I was hurting too. The constant reminder that this was all my fault, kept replaying in my head.

 

“Finn? Dude, are you okay?” I could picture him frowning right now. I scratched the back of my head, sighing, before deciding to speak up. Though my voice sounded more like a whisper, more broken than I intended it to.

 

“No. I'm not. . .I-I, I just—” I couldn't form a coherent sentence. I closed my eyes once again, the stinging in my chest doesn't fucking stop and it's killing me.

 

“Finn, what happened, what is going on?” he asked.

 

“She k-knows C-Cam. We are done. She-she left me, she d-did. And-and—” I couldn't finish that sentence, my mouth wouldn't allow it. I gulped the lump in my throat and rested my head on my knees, sniffling.

 

“Dude, where are you?” concern clear on his voice. I wiped my eyes, and took a long breath, trying to control myself in order to be able to speak.

 

“I'm-I'm-I'm at t-the-the a-apartment” I managed to say.

 

“Alright, I'm on my way, okay? Hang on, I'll be there as fast as I can” he said and hung up. I tossed my phone to the side and placed my head in between my knees. God, how bad I wanted for everything to rewind. If I could only go back in time and change things. I wish more than anything that I could hug her, and kiss her, to hear her laugh once more. I messed up big time. I can't stop picturing her expression when we were at the park. The way the tears were streaming down her beautiful face, it was killing me.

 

I wanted to move, but I couldn't. I was there with my misery, in the dusty floor of this apartment. Without her here, it seemed like this place was missing some color, some happiness. I punched the wall out of frustration, multiple times. I groaned while continuing my assault. It wasn't making me feel any better, even though I wished that more than anything. I wanted to destroy everything with just the simple purpose of feeling better, of making the pain go away. But it wasn't fucking working.

 

Dammit.

 

Suddenly, I heard the front door being opened abruptly, making me jump. Cam's voice filled the air. “Finn! Finn where are you?” I heard him ask frantically. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. The constant crying drained me completely. I didn't felt like moving, to let him know I was there. I didn't saw the point in it.

 

“Finn, dude, what happened?” Cam asked while noticing my presence in the dark corner. I didn't look up at him. I kept staring at the floor, hugging my knees tightly at the sound of his voice. God, I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

 

When I didn't answer, he walked towards where I was sitting and kneeled in front of me to be on my level. He placed his hand on my knee. “Finn, tell me what happened” he said. I slowly looked up at him, and gasped when he saw my face, I know I was looking like crap. But I don't care, I don't care of how I look after what I've done to Gwen.

 

“Finn?” he called out for me again, shaking me slightly.

 

“She knows Cam” I said almost inaudible. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he sat down next to me.

 

“What?” he asked. I let go a heavy sigh and finally locked gazes with my best friend.

 

“Gwen found out about the tweets, about the videos, about my lies, everything. . .” I said, letting another tear roll down my cheek, I didn't even care enough to wipe it away.

 

“Finn, I'm so sor—”

 

“Sorry?” I finished for him. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything. You were right from the very beginning. I should've told her. I waited too long and now blew it. You can now tell me I told you so” I said.

 

“Dude, I am truly sorry that this happened. I do know the reason why you didn't tell her”

 

“But it wasn't right. I know she would've at least forgive me if I was the one telling her what happened, explain her the situation. And now, she hates me”

 

“Did you talk to her?” he asked. I leaned my head back against the wall, laughing bitterly.

 

“Yeah, at the park. If you would've seen the look she gave me, the disgusted and pained expression she gave me when I tried to apologize. You can't imagine how awful it was to see her like that” I said, knitting my eyebrows together. It's so hard to keep picturing without wanting to cry all over again.

 

Cameron patted my knee, smiling sadly at me. “Why are you smiling?” I asked glancing at him briefly before staring back at the ceiling.

 

“Because I pity you. But not because you fucked up and now you're here miserable in the darkness. But because you're right here, sharing your misfortune with me instead of running to your girl and keep apologizing, showing her that you do care”

 

“How can I when she doesn't want to see me?”

 

“Insist. You said you regret what you did, that you like her a lot, right?”

 

“Dude, not only do I like her. But, I also think I'm in love with her” I admitted.

 

“Then go tell her that. . .Show her what she means to you, or it will be too late” he said now standing up, and held his hand for me to take it. I stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. He helped me get up and looked at me for a moment. “You love her, I know that, I've been knowing that ever since the first time she came to this apartment. You adore her, and want to protect her. I know that, Finn, but perhaps she doesn't. You know what you have to do. The fear is eating you alive, and you're letting it control you. Yeah, you fucked up, but you will never