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Contents

Chapter 1: May Cause Drowsiness

Chapter 2: Smarter, Not Harder

Chapter 3: Hunting is Supposed to be Unfair

Chapter 4: The worm stick

Chapter 5: Necrobarter

Chapter 6: mermaids in lakes are larger than they appear

Chapter 7: Magical Batman

Chapter 8: Proof of concept

Chapter 9: Air Force

Chapter 10: Colorful Characters

Chapter 11: Generic Villains

Chapter 12: Indestructible*

Chapter 13: Happiness Tastes Like Hippie

Chapter 14: Gigantism is in the eye of the beholder

Chapter 15: Cheese the Healer

Chapter 16: Optics

Chapter 17: Gear Up

Chapter 18: Black Betty

Chapter 19: When in doubt, sucker punch

Chapter 20: This is hopeless

Chapter 21: In Through The Out Hole

Chapter 22: The Nick of Time

Chapter 23: The Winner’s Circle

Chapter 1: May Cause Drowsiness

“Holy shit, Frank, this is like…” Jeb’s head lolled on his neck as he glanced around the room. Behind his eyelids, his veins were moving in geometric shapes, and the air itself seemed to be wrapping him up in a hug.

He felt loved. Like everything was gonna be okay, no matter what.

Jeb was laying on a bed, flanked by a nurse and a psychiatrist. Jeb didn’t mind being a lab rat. Not if it meant he wouldn’t have to feel like the only way to escape the swirling fear that seemed to stalk his every thought was to eat a bullet.

He told Frank about how it felt, but Frank didn’t say much in response other than smile warmly. The therapist probably hadn’t tried ecstasy himself, but he knew how it worked.

“Tell me about the attack.”

“Ah,” Jeb said, the memories washing over him without an ounce of their former bite.

“So I got off duty, played some video games in the rec room with Tyler, then turned in for the night, but I must have drank too much, ‘cuz I had to take a piss in the middle of the night. I got up and went to the head, and then…”

The memory of the explosion and its earth-shaking power washed over him, completely defanged, the horrible fear unable to penetrate the glowing positive vibes of the drugs. He remembered running back to the room, seeing the caved in ceiling…and the drops of blood on the ground.

The human body doesn’t bleed a lot. Not when they’re crushed under a ceiling.

Jeb was recounting his experiences in a sort of stream of consciousness word vomit, when his ears began to resound with some other voice.

It was a voice, but also text that seemed to float in front of his eyes.

>>>The System has Been Installed<<<

Earthlings! The gods of Pharos have touched your plane of existence and found it wanting. Your planet will be merged with their own, but you must be found worthy to join.

In a few moments, you will be teleported to your Tutorial Zones, but first, you must choose the difficulty of your tutorial.

Easy is a good choice for children and parents. Above that level, the rewards are increasingly greater, while the danger rises to match. Be sure before you choose.

>>>EASY

>>>NORMAL

>>>HARD

>>>IMPOSSIBLE

Jeb blinked.

“Ummm…Is this part of the drugs?” Jeb asked, peering between Frank and Alice. He wasn’t sure what was going on

“Umm…” Frank said, glancing at the tablets on the countertop. “I don’t think it is.” the bearded, bespectacled psychiatrist glanced at his somewhat dumpy assistant who monitored Jeb’s vitals.

“I see it too,” She said, frowning before shaking her head. “There’s no way.”

“Jeb, don’t move.” Frank said, standing. “I’m going to go see what’s going on outside.”

Frank rose to his feet, and reached out to get his glasses from the cabinet.

The psychiatrist burst into glittering light, vanishing from their sight in a matter of seconds.

“What the hell? Frank!?” Alice called, rising to her feet. She rushed over to where Frank had vanished, her eyes wide with panic, reaching out to where the dark-haired man had disappeared. A moment later, she disappeared, too.

“Guys?” Jeb asked, glancing around.

They’re probably fine. Probably.

Hmmm. He looked at the four choices again.

What does this even mean?

 

>>>EASY

>>>NORMAL

>>>HARD

>>>IMPOSSIBLE

I’m still not sure if this is real or not… Jeb thought, looking over the choices, carefully considering as he fought through the vague haze of the drug, unable to feel any particular apprehension for any of the choices.

Are the rewards for higher difficulties worth it? He thought to himself.

Each reward for a higher difficulty tutorial is exponentially more valuable than the last, granting the User greater Fate to survive and thrive in the world of Pharos.

30 Seconds remaining.

29 Seconds remaining.

28 Seconds remaining.

…If I finish the impossible tutorial, will I be able to help people? Jeb thought.

Millions. Billions. More.

13 Seconds remaining.

12 Seconds remaining.

11 Seconds remaining.

Well, Jeb thought, the Ecstasy dimming his anxiety. The math works out in my favor on that, doesn’t it. He was a soldier. It was his goddamn duty to do everything he could. There were thousands more Jebs out there, and if even one of them survived the Impossible difficulty, they could single handedly save the world. Or something like that.

It was practically irresponsible of him not to choose impossible.

Man, everything is spinny.

5 Seconds remaining.

4 Seconds remaining.

3 Seconds remaining.

Make the right choice.

2 Seconds remaining.

1 Second remaining.

He tugged his hand out from the warm blanket the shrink had wrapped him in and poked the >>>IMPOSSIBLE<<< button hovering in front of him. His hand slid through it, but he felt something.

You have selected Impossible!

Scanning Host.

Host is in an altered state, Attribute Quantification impeded.

Removing toxins….Done

Quantifying Attributes….

 

Jebediah Trapper

Body 5

Myst 0

Nerve 8

The warm fuzzy safety blanket of the drugs was ripped away from him, and all that was left was the dawning horror of realization. Impossible meant he

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