Apocalypse: Generic System, Macronomicon [e book reader android txt] 📗

the damn potions. Y’all know as much as I do about ‘em, and I ain’t got time to spend the entire evening telling rich assholes the same story. Answer ain’t gonna change no matter how much money you throw at it.”

“Regardless.” The man in the lead said. “It wouldn’t be wise to brush off Mr. Lancaster. It could turn poorly for you.”

“Oh,” Casey said, leaning closer. “How’s that?”

“Mr. Lancaster has a lot of influence in this city, and accidents can happen,” the keegan said, placing his hand on the package of money and staring into her eyes. “Take the money, be there, or we can’t guarantee- ”

Whizz!

A nail shot down from a board above them and stabbed through the package, right in between the Keegan’s fingers, vibrating in the wood bar.

The man tried to stand up, but his chair shoved him back forward forcing him to sit while Casey fixed herself a virgin daiquiri.

“Accidents happen? Not in my house, they don’t.” Casey said as the house went silent. The chatter had died down to hushed whispers, the music stopped.

“You see, I learned a couple things when I was in the tutorial,” she said. “And here’s the real interesting thing.”

“They don’t sleep,” Casey said, gesturing to the mannequin busboys flanking the thugs with steak knives. “My friends here, they don’t get tired, or bored. They don’t waver, they can’t be seduced, distracted or bribed.”

Casey broke into a devilish smile.

“And most importantly. I can’t tell them what to do.”

The man frowned.

“But I thought –“

“Hey you,” Casey said, pointing at the nearest mannequin. “light the tavern on fire.”

The mannequin ignored her.

“You see? These guys aren’t under my control. They’re acting of their own volition. When I’m asleep, they’re awake. When I’m bored, they’re watching. And if they think that the best thing for me would be for your boss to disappear in the middle of the night?”

Casey shrugged. “I couldn’t stop them. So really, the ball’s in your court. How my friends relate to Mr. Lancaster relies entirely on how Mr. Lancaster relates to me.”

“I guess the question is, does Mr. Lancaster have more loyal friends than I do? Do they get distracted? Do they sleep? ‘Cuz you know, accidents happen.” Casey said.

The Keegan looked up at the loose board in the ceiling pulling itself back into place, while the nail pulled itself out of the countertop and began inch-worming over to a nearby mannequin. He glanced at the three cook mannequins standing silently in the window to the kitchen, casually bearing butcher knives and frying pans as they watched the altercation.

Totally motionless.

“I’ll tell him you politely declined,” He said, glancing behind him at the tables gradually crowding in around him.

“Thanks, hon,” Casey said with her sweetest business smile, keeping it pasted onto her face until the three goons left the room, the silverware nipping at their heels on the way out.

“Go Cas-ey!” one of the patrons whooped as Casey fanned herself off, followed by a burst of applause.

“Goddamn, I’m not used to playing the hardass bit,” Casey muttered quietly to herself.

More and more people were sniffing after the survivors of the impossible tutorial, and Casey had no idea why. One thing was for sure: It wasn’t for the damn potions. Those were already long gone.

Might have to pack up and leave again.

Casey was frowning in thought when a loud scuffling, clattering sound echoed through the ceiling, followed by a baby’s scream, sending her heart up into her throat.

A word from the Author

 

Hi there! If you’re reading this, chances are good that you just finished this whole book! I’m a simple guy who likes writing protagonists who use their brainmeats to solve their problems instead of wrapping their fists in ever-more ridiculous ‘techniques’ and punching harder.

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you like reading about wizards that behave like proper wizards instead of DBZ clones.

If that’s the case, I cordially invite you to visit Macronomicon’s Patreon page, where I’ve always got something going on, whether it be the sequel to this book, the sequel to that book, or something entirely different.

All of it is hot off the presses, available as soon as they’re written, often months ahead of public releases like this one.

If you liked my style, but not enough for that kind of commitment, I’ve got several series available to binge on RoyalRoad.

Go there.

Read for free.

Enjoy the craziness.