Googol Boy and the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy, John Michael [white hot kiss txt] 📗

Copyright © John Michael

First published 2021

Copyright remains the property of the authors and apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright Act, no part may be reproduced by any process without written permission.

All inquiries should be made to the publishers.

Big Sky Publishing Pty Ltd

PO Box 303, Newport, NSW 2106, Australia

Phone:1300 364 611

Fax:(61 2) 9918 2396

Email:info@bigskypublishing.com.au

Web:www.bigskypublishing.com.au

Cover design and typesetting: Think Productions

Printed in China

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry

ISBN: 9781922387141

ENDORSEMENTS

"Googol Boy turned me into a giggle boy. John Michael knows how to make readers laugh and keep on reading!"

Chris Grabenstein - New York Times bestselling author of the Mr Lemoncello series and other great books.

"Milk-out-your-nose funny! Absolutely fantastic and truly hilarious. It's going to make for a great series. One can't compute just how hysterical this book is and every paragraph is a lightning strike of hilarity. Every kid's dream come true."

M. P. Kozlowsky - Award winning author of Rose Coffin and Juniper Berry.

"Reading Googol Boy is a romp, a riot, a rambling through everything that makes school wonderful and ridiculous at the same time. Read it! It will help you survive!"

Gary D. Schmidt - Two-time winner of the Newbery Honor Award and a Printz Honor Award for Lizzie Bright and the Buckminster Boy and The Wednesday Wars.

"Googol Boy is a great read with a winning protagonist, hilarious jokes, clever wordplay, general insanity, and useful information such as the difference between brabbensacks and sackenbrabs!"

J. A. White - Award winning author of the Shadow School series, the Thickety series and Nightbooks.

"A refreshingly original, laugh-out-loud, action packed story. In the tradition of Roald Dahl, Googol Boy presents a deliciously vile line-up of teachers and a teen protagonist everyone will be cheering for. From the moment Howie becomes super-intelligent in a freak accident, every page sparkles with clever dialogue, hilarious twists, and fascinating facts. Kids will absolutely love it!"

Poppy Gee - Author of literary thrillers Vanishing Falls and Bay of Fires. Poppy has worked as a journalist, editor and book reviewer and currently teaches journalism and creative writing.

CONTENTS

1

Toothless

2

Pacman

3

Brabbensack

4

Sardines

5

Doodackie

6

Fairy Floss

7

Snickerdoodle

8

Controversion

9

Fishpot

10

Hobo Joe

11

Splash

12

Pancakes

13

Crapaudine

14

The great quiz

Chapter 1

toothless

Miss Fremskey asked the question again. “Which famous battle took place in 1066?”

The whole class froze. Not a soul roused, all eye-contact was averted and breathing was reduced to an imperceptible level. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... but this wasn't the night before Christmas. No... far from it.

There were some frightful teachers at Quockingpoll Flats High School but Miss Fremskey, you could say, took the cake − both figuratively and literally. Her sheer bulk was enough to instil terror into any high school student. There was a rumour that she had once tripped down the stairs and squished three junior students in one single bound. Miss Fremskey’s close-set lifeless eyes were like still pools of the blackest tar, her bent nose jutted out like a freckled gherkin and her mouth was twisted like a crooked pin. She had a habit of grinding her baked-bean teeth and her voice sounded like a grating squawk. If you ever had the misfortune of having her stoop down over you while you were sitting at your desk, you’d be hit in the face with the pong of mildewed coffee and rancid tobacco breath. She completely and utterly had no sense of humour and no one had never ever heard Miss Fremskey laugh. Not once.

To top it off, she was one of those teachers who had many ways of intimidating and belittling her students. She loved to make individuals stand in the corner for no apparent reason, and would even use the dunce cap* when someone got an answer wrong, but her all-time favourite was the ol’ ask a question that nobody can answer trick. To make matters worse she would often target the more dim-witted members in the class. The usual suspects were Susie Skitter, who would get items wedged up her nose; Eugene Fumbase, who would chew gum other people had stuck under the desks; Betsy Arkle, who would often turn up to the wrong class; Freckles Magee, who once got lost in the school cafeteria and, of course, me... Howard Sootfell.

Who would she pick this time?

Miss Fremskey’s dark eyes darted around the room in a scurrying manner. She was like some humongous stout crow scouring the terrain for a quick morsel to devour. And then it happened!

I coughed. It was a rather obscure cough and I did try to stifle it... but it was too late. She turned in my direction, like a Rottweiler that had detected the faint scent of blood.

bellowed Miss Fremskey.

She would always call me Footsmell even though she darn well knew that it was Sootfell.

Still, I suppose Eugene Fumbase copped it much worse.

“Which famous battle took place in 1066?” she repeated, with a big scowl etched on her face.

I just sat there dumbstruck, like a simple-minded mule which had been asked to solve some algebra.

“Well Einstein?” Miss Fremskey grunted in a condescending tone.

“The battle... um... well...”

“You don’t know the answer, do you?”

“Actually I do.”

“Not only are you a bonehead but you’re a liar as well!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

I could have kept going on like this until the end of the lesson but Miss Fremskey, always a bit of a party pooper, decided she didn’t want to play anymore. Her eyes started to bulge and then, somewhat predictably, she snapped.

“Answer the damn question, you worthless little worm!”

I could tell by the way the veins in her temples were throbbing that she wasn’t mucking about.

Suddenly, the cogs in my head started to whir and I responded.

“The battle which you are referring to would be the Battle of Hastings, which was fought between the English, led by King Harold II,