Our American Cousin, Tom Taylor [best color ereader .TXT] 📗

epub:type="z3998:persona">Skillet, Mr. Buddicombe, two servants in livery, carrying tray and glasses, a wine basket containing four bottles to represent champagne, knife to cut strings, some powerful acid in one bottle for Asa Trenchard⁠—pop sure. Sir Edward Trenchard Now to distribute the prizes, and drink to the health of the winner of the golden arrow. Florence Trenchard And there must stand the hero of the day. Come, kneel down. Asa Trenchard Must I kneel down? Florence Trenchard I am going to crown you Captain of the Archers of Trenchard Manor. Asa Trenchard Aside to Florence Trenchard. I’ve got the ship. Florence Trenchard No; have you? Sir Edward Trenchard Come, ladies and gentlemen, take from me. Takes glasses, Starts on seeing men in livery. Who are these strange faces? Mr. Coyle In his ear. Bailiffs, Sir Edward. Sir Edward Trenchard Bailiffs! Florence I am lost. Florence Trenchard supports her father. At the same moment Lord Dundreary enters with letter and money. Georgina appears at dairy door as Lord Dundreary comes down, L. Asa Trenchard cuts string of bottle, cork hits Lord Dundreary. General commotion as drop descends. Act III Scene 1

Dairy set as before in Act 2nd, Scene 2.

Asa Trenchard discovered on bench, R. C., whittling stick. Mary busy with milk pans in dairy. Asa Trenchard Miss Mary, I wish you’d leave off those everlasting dairy fixings, and come and take a hand of chat along with me. Mary What, and leave my work? Why, when you first came here, you thought I could not be too industrious. Asa Trenchard Well, I think so yet, Miss Mary, but I’ve got a heap to say to you, and I never can talk while you’re moving about so spry among them pans, pails and cheeses. First you raise one hand and then the other, and well, it takes the gumption right out of me. Mary Brings sewing down. Well, then, I’ll sit here⁠—sits on bench with Asa Trenchard, vis-à-vis. Well now, will that do? Asa Trenchard Well, no, Miss Mary, that won’t do, neither; them eyes of yourn takes my breath away. Mary What will I do, then? Asa Trenchard Well, I don’t know, Miss Mary, but, darn me, if you could do anything that wasn’t so tarnal neat and handsome, that a fellow would want to keep on doing nothing else all the time. Mary Well, then, I’ll go away. Rises. Asa Trenchard Stopping her. No, don’t do that, Miss Mary, for then I’ll be left in total darkness. She sits. Somehow I feel kinder lost, if I haven’t got you to talk to. Now that I’ve got the latitude and longitude of all them big folks, found out the length of every lady’s foot, and the soft spot on everybody’s head, they can’t teach me nothing; but here, Whittling here I come to school. Mary Then throw away that stick, and put away your knife, like a good boy. Throws away stick upstage. I must cure you of that dreadful trick of whittling. Asa Trenchard Oh, if you only knew how it helps me to keep my eyes off you, Miss Mary. Mary But you needn’t keep your eyes off me. Asa Trenchard I’m afraid I must, my eyes are awful tale-tellers, and they might be saying something you wouldn’t like to hear, and that might make you mad, and then you’d shut up school, and send me home feeling about as small as a tadpole with his tail bobbed off. Mary Don’t be alarmed, I don’t think I will listen to any tales that your eyes may tell unless they’re tales I like and ought to hear. Asa Trenchard If I thought they’d tell any other, Miss Mary, I pluck them right out and throw them in the first turnip patch I came to. Mary And now tell me more about your home in America. Do you know I’ve listened to your stories until I’m half a backwoodsman’s wife already? Asa Trenchard Aside. Wouldn’t I like to make her a whole one. Mary Yes, I can shut my eyes and almost fancy I see your home in the backwoods. There are your two sisters running about in their sunbonnets. Asa Trenchard Debby and Nan? Yes! Mary Then I can see the smoke curling from the chimney, then men and boys working in the fields. Asa Trenchard Yes. Mary The girls milking the cows, and everybody so busy. Asa Trenchard Yes. Mary And then at night, home come your four big brothers from the hunt laden with game, tired and footsore, and covered with snow. Asa Trenchard That’s so. Mary Then how we lasses bustle about to prepare supper. The fire blazes on the hearth, while your good old mother cooks the slapjacks. Asa Trenchard Getting very excited. Yes. Mary And then after supper the lads and lasses go to a corn husking. The demijohn of old peach brandy is brought out and everything is so nice. Asa Trenchard I shall faint in about five minutes, Miss Mary you’re a darned sight too good for this country. You ought to make tracks. Mary Make what? Asa Trenchard Make tracks, pack up, and emigrate to the roaring old state of Vermont, and live ’long with mother. She’d make you so comfortable, and there would be sister Debby and Nab, and well, I reckon I’d be there, too. Mary Oh! I’m afraid if I were there your mother would find the poor English girl a sad incumbrance. Asa Trenchard Oh, she ain’t proud, not a mite, besides they’ve all seen Britishers afore. Mary I suppose you allude to my cousin, Edward Trenchard? Asa Trenchard Well, he wan’t the only one, there was the old Squire, Mark Trenchard. Mary Starting Aside. My grandfather! Asa Trenchard Oh! he was a fine old hoss, as game as a bison bull, and as gray as a coon in the fall; you see he was kinder mad with his folks here, so he came over to America to look after the original branch of the family, that’s our branch. We’re older than