The Decameron, Giovanni Boccaccio [top ten books of all time .TXT] 📗

of price, insomuch that they seem to the beholder not friars’ cells, but rather apothecaries’ or perfumers’ shops) they think no shame that folk should know them to be gouty, conceiving that others see not nor know that strict fasting, coarse viands and spare and sober living make men lean and slender and for the most part sound of body, and that if indeed some sicken thereof, at least they sicken not of the gout, whereto it is used to give, for medicine, chastity and everything else that pertaineth to the natural way of living of an honest friar. Yet they persuade themselves that others know not that⁠—let alone the scant and sober living⁠—long vigils, praying and discipline should make men pale and mortified and that neither St. Dominic nor St. Francis, far from having four gowns for one, clad themselves in cloth dyed in grain nor in other fine stuffs, but in garments of coarse wool and undyed, to keep out the cold and not to make a show. For which things, as well as for the souls of the simpletons who nourish them, there is need that God provide.

Fra Rinaldo, then, having returned to his former appetites, began to pay frequent visits to his gossip and waxing in assurance, proceeded to solicit her with more than his former instancy to that which he desired of her. The good lady, seeing herself hard pressed and Fra Rinaldo seeming to her belike goodlier than she had thought him aforetime, being one day sore importuned of him, had recourse to that argument which all women use who have a mind to yield that which is asked of them and said, ‘How now, Fra Rinaldo? Do monks such things?’ ‘Madam,’ answered he, ‘when as I shall have this gown off my back⁠—and I can put it off mighty easily⁠—I shall appear to you a man fashioned like other men and not a monk.’ The lady pulled a demure face and said, ‘Alack, wretched me! You are my gossip; how can I do this? It were sadly ill, and I have heard many a time that it is a very great sin; but, certes, were it not for this, I would do that which you wish.’ Quoth Fra Rinaldo, ‘You are a simpleton, if you forbear for this; I do not say that it is not a sin, but God pardoneth greater than this to whoso repenteth. But tell me, who is more akin to your child, I who held him at baptism or your husband who begat him?’ ‘My husband is more akin to him,’ answered the lady; whereupon, ‘You say sooth,’ rejoined the friar. ‘And doth not your husband lie with you?’ ‘Ay doth he,’ replied she. ‘Then,’ said Fra Rinaldo, ‘I, who am less akin to your child than is your husband, may lie with you even as doth he.’ The lady, who knew no logic and needed little persuasion, either believed or made a show of believing that the friar spoke the truth and answered, ‘Who might avail to answer your learned words?’ And after, notwithstanding the gossipship, she resigned herself to do his pleasure; nor did they content themselves with one bout, but foregathered many and many a time, having the more commodity thereof under cover of the gossipship, for that there was less suspicion.

But once, amongst other times, it befell that Fra Rinaldo, coming to the lady’s house and finding none with her but a little maid of hers, who was very pretty and agreeable, despatched his comrade with the latter to the pigeon-loft, to teach her her Paternoster, and entered with the lady, who had her child in her hand, into her bedchamber, where they locked themselves in and fell to taking their pleasure upon a daybed that was there. As they were thus engaged, it chanced that the husband came home and making for the bedchamber-door, unperceived of any, knocked and called to the lady, who, hearing this, said to the friar, ‘I am a dead woman, for here is my husband, and now he will certainly perceive what is the reason of our familiarity.’ Now Rinaldo was stripped to his waistcoat, to wit, he had put off his gown and his scapulary, and hearing this, answered, ‘You say sooth; were I but dressed, there might be some means; but, if you open to him and he find me thus, there can be no excuse for us.’ The lady, seized with a sudden idea, said, ‘Harkye, dress yourself and when you are dressed, take your godchild in your arms and hearken well to that which I shall say to him, so your words may after accord with mine, and leave me do.’ Then, to the good man, who had not yet left knocking, ‘I come to thee,’ quoth she and rising, opened the chamber-door and said, with a good countenance, ‘Husband mine, I must tell thee that Fra Rinaldo, our gossip, is come hither and it was God sent him to us; for, certes, but for his coming, we should today have lost our child.’

The good simple man, hearing this, was like to swoon and said, ‘How so?’ ‘O husband mine,’ answered Agnesa, ‘there took him but now of a sudden a fainting-fit, that methought he was dead, and I knew not what to do or say; but just then Fra Rinaldo our gossip came in and taking him in his arms, said, “Gossip, these be worms he hath in his body, the which draw near to his heart and would infallibly kill him; but have no fear, for I will conjure them and make them all die; and ere I go hence, you shall see the child whole again as ever you saw him.” And for that we had need of thee to repeat certain orisons and that the maid could not find thee, he caused his comrade say them in the highest room of our house, whilst he and I came hither and locked ourselves