Jolt!, Phil Cooke [reading women txt] 📗

Isolate your habits. Make a conscious list so you’ll begin to notice the things you want to change.

2. NEXT, MAKE A NOTE ABOUT THE HABIT.

Notice how often you perform the habit and make a note. Call attention to it.

Make it a big deal. Part of the reason we let our habits grow is that we let them live in the invisible world. Just like circling my mouth with my finger when I’m thinking. I don’t notice it, and because I don’t notice it, I continue the habit.

Noting the habit means writing it down—making note—and calling attention. Negative habits are the enemy to a successful life, and any military commander will tell you the key to defeating an enemy is to make the enemy visible. Radar, sonar, infrared, and satellite tracking are technologies designed to make the invisible, visible. When we can see the enemy clearly, we have the best chance of defeating it.

When you notice a bad habit and call attention to it, it allows you to see how often it disrupts your life or how many times you do it. Perhaps for the first time, you’ll see not only why it drives your friends and coworkers nuts but also how it negatively impacts your life as well.

3. AFTER YOU’VE MADE NOTE OF THE HABIT,

TAKE THE TIME TO EVALUATE AND UNDERSTAND IT.

Think about the habit and how that behavior can be broken and eliminated. What will it take to change?

When I work with organizations on strategic thinking and planning, I use the question, “What will have to be aligned for this to happen?”

In other words, to accomplish our goal for the organization, what steps will have to be in place? What will have to be changed in order to reach our goal of $100 million in sales? What will have to be determined to design a more creative environment for our employees? What will have to be in process to meet our goals for next year?

» WHAT WILL HAVE TO BE ALIGNED IN YOUR LIFE TO DEFEAT YOUR NEGATIVE HABITS?

I met a man who was wrestling with pornography. He wasn’t a hard-core addict, but he knew it was a problem for him and wanted to put a stop to it before it gained control of his life. At times he would sneak adult magazines into his office or rent an adult movie in his hotel room on a business trip or view Internet porn on his computer after work. I suggested that he shortcut opportunities to let his habit kick in and that he avoid even the temptation. We outlined areas that would help. We purchased a software program that not only blocks pornographic websites but also sends an e-mail to his wife if he tries to access an adult site. He began avoiding newsstands in airports because of the pervasive way they advertise and display provocative magazines. And he began asking for adult movies to be blocked as a normal part of the check-in process at hotels.

We blocked the opportunities for his habit to express itself. Purchasing the correct software, clear avoidance, proper accountability—all those things had to be in place for him to conquer his habit.

Recently I met Delatorro L. McNeal II, a professional speaker and success coach. “Del” is one of the most motivated people I’ve ever met, and we became acquainted when he was on the set of a television program we were shooting. Del told me that early in his life he found himself stuck in a terrible family situation and, as a result, he was labeled an “at-risk child” by the local school system.

As an African-American young man, he was trapped in the inner city with limited options, and after a few years the “at-risk” label stuck. He began to view himself as at-risk and soon realized that label dictated his future.

But one day, he met a teacher who changed his life. She sat him down, looked him directly in the eye, and said, “Delatorro, you’re not a child at risk, you’re a child at possibility.” In a single moment, she changed his label from one of risk to one of possibility, and in that moment she changed the way he viewed himself and his world.

Since that time Del has spent his life helping other people overcome their labels and see their future in a different light. It’s all about conditioning. Today in his presentations to young people, he illustrates the power of conditioning with the results of a study done on fleas. When researchers put a group of fleas in a container with a lid, they immediately tried to jump out but then hit the lid. Even with the tiny intelligence of a flea, it didn’t take long for them to realize that when they tried to jump out of the container, it hurt. Not long after, the researchers took off the lid, and guess what? The fleas did not jump out of the container, even though without a lid it would have been an easy leap to freedom.

The lesson hits young people like a rocket. Whatever you’re conditioned to do, you’ll do it whether the conditions continue or not. Label a child a loser or at risk, and he’ll consider himself a loser or an at-risk child for the rest of his life. It’s all about the power of habits and the labels those habits represent.

But jolt a child’s thinking by calling him a champion and see what happens. If you had a tough childhood, think of how your life might have changed if your parents had encouraged you more, believed in you more, and considered you a champion in life.

And imagine what would have happened if those beliefs had become habits.

As I stood there listening to Del, I thought about the millions of young people around the country who are regularly told, “You’re stupid” or “You’ll never make it” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” Those labels are thoughtless, ignorant, damaging, and destructive.

» NEVER FORGET