Jolt!, Phil Cooke [reading women txt] 📗

like the overwhelming pull of a drug, as noted in the second definition. Breaking habits is one of the most difficult things a man or woman can do. You would probably admit that many of your habits are negative, but the fact is, when you learn to break those negative habits and beg in to harness positive behaviors, your life will change exponentially— because habits are repeated. And anything done over and over again will soon become part of your personality.

» But what if we could create positive habits?

It’s been said that the only thing constant is change. But let me take that a bit further and say that when change becomes constant—or habitual—your life begins evolving to a new level.

Most experts would say that consistency is the key to everything. I dated a girl in college who wanted to be a concert pianist. Her life was designed around practicing the piano for at least four hours per day. It definitely cut back on our dating life, but I saw how regular, constant practice transformed her into a brilliant pianist. A professional athlete has to practice on a consistent basis if he or she is to become a champion.

What do you want to be? A better leader, a champion athlete, a successful entrepreneur, a real estate mogul, a movie producer?

How often do you practice?

Perhaps you can’t actually make a movie, sell real estate, or lead an army every day, but you can practice the skills that successful people in your industry have acquired. Make it a habit so you’ll do it without thinking, because that’s when things start happening.

And while we’re talking about practice, let me explode the common myth that practice makes perfect. As legendary football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.” My college girlfriend would not have benefited one bit from all those long hours of practice if she hadn’t been practicing correctly. We have to take the time to learn the right techniques, get the right advice and coaching, and make sure every time we practice, we’re doing it correctly. Good habits come out of good practice.

Search the Internet or your local bookstore and you’ll find plenty of resources for changing habits. Smoking, overeating, laziness, lack of motivation, overspending, lack of exercise—there are plenty of reasons to break negative habits and plenty of organizations, self-help groups, books, and teaching videos that testify to America’s dark descent into too much smoking, eating, drinking, spending, and a host of other ills that plague our society.

Some people have extremely negative habits, and in a few cases they can contribute to injury, illness, or death. In those cases, I urge you to seek professional help from a doctor, mental health counselor, or pastor. Too many people look for easy answers to difficult challenges. The techniques in this book can get you moving in new directions and transform your thinking about change.

But if you’re facing serious obesity, addiction to drugs, gambling, sex, or similar life-destroying situations, I strongly suggest that along with this book, you seek professional help from qualified health care or counseling professionals.

But in most cases, a regular program of repetition and accountability can start you on the path to releasing your destructive habits, and opening the door to new, positive habits can impact your life in exciting ways. Some experts suggest a ten-day program, and others suggest up to thirty days or more, depending on the issue. To be honest, I’ve never seen compelling research that supports a particular number of days. Everyone is different, and everyone’s “habit sensitivity” is set at different levels. Personally, I recommend at least ten days to change significant habits in most people.

Regardless of how entrenched your habits are, how do you break them? What do you do in those ten days?

1. FIRST, ISOLATE THE HABITS YOU WANT TO BREAK.

They might be small habits, like drumming your fingers on a desk when you’re nervous, or twitching your nose in a meeting. They might be small, but they may drive your coworkers, boss, or spouse crazy. Small to you may be huge to others.

My wife tells me I have a rather annoying habit of making circles around my mouth with my finger when I’m thinking. I don’t notice it, and I imagine it helps me concentrate, but it drives her nuts. Sitting in a movie, in church, or in a meeting, she’ll catch me in the act, grab my hand, and pull it away from my mouth. Very small thing to me, very big thing to her.

By the way—just because you have a small habit doesn’t mean it won’t be hard to break. Very often the small habits are the most difficult to change because they work “under the radar.” We usually don’t even notice them, so it’s difficult to alter our behavior. That’s a key reason for our first step—isolating the habit—because it makes us notice.

On the other hand, you might want to change a really significant habit. I don’t have to take the time to remind you how some bad habits can whittle away at your career or relationships. Habits like these are career killers, marriage killers, and can permanently end a promising future.

“But Phil, you’re being overly dramatic. Showing up late doesn’t matter that much.” To others, showing up late means you don’t respect their time and if you don’t respect their time, you won’t respect them. It may not matter to you, but believe me, it matters to the person constantly having to wait for you.

“But my reports don’t have to be perfect.” The smallest mistakes in reports or other correspondence can cost plenty. A misplaced comma, period, or quotation has changed the meaning and result of major projects. A misquoted statement or story can result in legal action. A mistake with a single number can cost a company millions of dollars. Mistakes in business can have serious consequences.

» HABITS CAN HAVE ENORMOUS CONSEQUENCES—NOT JUST FOR US BUT FOR OUR LOVED ONES