Major Barbara, George Bernard Shaw [bookstand for reading txt] 📗

shelter and lend the lasses a hand for a while: we’re worked off our feet. Shirley Bitterly. Yes: I’m in their debt for a meal, ain’t I? Barbara Oh, not because you’re in their debt; but for love of them, Peter, for love of them. He cannot understand, and is rather scandalized. There! Don’t stare at me. In with you; and give that conscience of yours a holiday Bustling him into the shelter. Shirley As he goes in. Ah! it’s a pity you never was trained to use your reason, miss. You’d have been a very taking lecturer on Secularism. Barbara turns to her father. Undershaft Never mind me, my dear. Go about your work; and let me watch it for a while. Barbara All right. Undershaft For instance, what’s the matter with that outpatient over there? Barbara Looking at Bill, whose attitude has never changed, and whose expression of brooding wrath has deepened. Oh, we shall cure him in no time. Just watch. She goes over to Bill and waits. He glances up at her and casts his eyes down again, uneasy, but grimmer than ever. It would be nice to just stamp on Mog Habbijam’s face, wouldn’t it, Bill? Bill Starting up from the trough in consternation. It’s a lie: I never said so. She shakes her head. Who told you wot was in my mind? Barbara Only your new friend. Bill Wot new friend? Barbara The devil, Bill. When he gets round people they get miserable, just like you. Bill With a heartbreaking attempt at devil-may-care cheerfulness. I ain’t miserable. He sits down again, and stretches his legs in an attempt to seem indifferent. Barbara Well, if you’re happy, why don’t you look happy, as we do? Bill His legs curling back in spite of him. I’m ’appy enough, I tell you. Why don’t you lea’ me alown? Wot ’av I done to you? I ain’t smashed your face, ’av I? Barbara Softly: wooing his soul. It’s not me that’s getting at you, Bill. Bill Who else is it? Barbara Somebody that doesn’t intend you to smash women’s faces, I suppose. Somebody or something that wants to make a man of you. Bill Blustering. Make a man o’ me! Ain’t I a man? eh? ain’t I a man? Who sez I’m not a man? Barbara There’s a man in you somewhere, I suppose. But why did he let you hit poor little Jenny Hill? That wasn’t very manly of him, was it? Bill Tormented. ’Av done with it, I tell you. Chock it. I’m sick of your Jenny Ill and ’er silly little face. Barbara Then why do you keep thinking about it? Why does it keep coming up against you in your mind? You’re not getting converted, are you? Bill With conviction. Not me. Not likely. Not arf. Barbara That’s right, Bill. Hold out against it. Put out your strength. Don’t let’s get you cheap. Todger Fairmile said he wrestled for three nights against his Salvation harder than he ever wrestled with the Jap at the music hall. He gave in to the Jap when his arm was going to break. But he didn’t give in to his salvation until his heart was going to break. Perhaps you’ll escape that. You haven’t any heart, have you? Bill Wot d’ye mean? Wy ain’t I got a ’art the same as ennybody else? Barbara A man with a heart wouldn’t have bashed poor little Jenny’s face, would he? Bill Almost crying. Ow, will you lea’ me alown? ’Av I ever offered to meddle with you, that you come noggin’ and provowkin’ me lawk this? He writhes convulsively from his eyes to his toes. Barbara With a steady soothing hand on his arm and a gentle voice that never lets him go. It’s your soul that’s hurting you, Bill, and not me. We’ve been through it all ourselves. Come with us, Bill. He looks wildly round. To brave manhood on earth and eternal glory in heaven. He is on the point of breaking down. Come. A drum is heard in the shelter; and Bill, with a gasp, escapes from the spell as Barbara turns quickly. Adolphus enters from the shelter with a big drum. Oh! there you are, Dolly. Let me introduce a new friend of mine, Mr. Bill Walker. This is my bloke, Bill: Mr. Cusins. Cusins salutes with his drumstick. Bill Goin to marry ’im? Barbara Yes. Bill Fervently. Gawd ’elp ’im! Gawd ’elp ’im! Barbara Why? Do you think he won’t be happy with me? Bill I’ve only ’ad to stand it for a mornin’: ’e’ll ’av to stand it for a lifetime. Cusins That is a frightful reflection, Mr. Walker. But I can’t tear myself away from her. Bill Well, I can. To Barbara. Eah! do you know where I’m goin’ to, and wot I’m goin’ to do? Barbara Yes: you’re going to heaven; and you’re coming back here before the week’s out to tell me so. Bill You lie. I’m goin to Kennintahn, to spit in Todger Fairmile’s eye. I bashed Jenny Ill’s face; and now I’ll get me own face bashed and come back and show it to ’er. E’ll it me ’ardern I ’it ’er. That’ll make us square. To Adolphus. Is that fair or is it not? You’re a genlmn: you oughter know. Barbara Two black eyes won’t make one white one, Bill. Bill I didn’t ast you. Cawn’t you never keep your mahth shut? I ast the genlmn. Cusins Reflectively. Yes: I think you’re right, Mr. Walker. Yes: I should do it. It’s curious: it’s exactly what an ancient Greek would have done. Barbara But what good will it do? Cusins Well, it will give Mr. Fairmile some exercise; and it will satisfy Mr. Walker’s soul. Bill Rot! there ain’t no sach a thing as a soul. Ah kin you tell wether I’ve a soul or not? You never seen it. Barbara I’ve seen it hurting you when you went against it. Bill With compressed aggravation. If you was my girl and took the