Man and Superman, George Bernard Shaw [hardest books to read txt] 📗

sort of talk is no use, Jack. You don’t understand. You have never been in love. Tanner I! I have never been out of it. Why, I am in love even with Ann. But I am neither the slave of love nor its dupe. Go to the bee, thou poet: consider her ways and be wise. By Heaven, Tavy, if women could do without our work, and we ate their children’s bread instead of making it, they would kill us as the spider kills her mate or as the bees kill the drone. And they would be right if we were good for nothing but love. Octavius Ah, if we were only good enough for Love! There is nothing like Love: there is nothing else but Love: without it the world would be a dream of sordid horror. Tanner And this⁠—this is the man who asks me to give him the hand of my ward! Tavy: I believe we were changed in our cradles, and that you are the real descendant of Don Juan. Octavius I beg you not to say anything like that to Ann. Tanner Don’t be afraid. She has marked you for her own; and nothing will stop her now. You are doomed. Straker comes back with a newspaper. Here comes the New Man, demoralizing himself with a halfpenny paper as usual. Straker Now, would you believe it: Mr. Robinson, when we’re out motoring we take in two papers, the Times for him, the Leader or the Echo for me. And do you think I ever see my paper? Not much. He grabs the Leader and leaves me to stodge myself with his Times. Octavius Are there no winners in the Times? Tanner Enry don’t old with bettin, Tavy. Motor records are his weakness. What’s the latest? Straker Paris to Biskra at forty mile an hour average, not countin the Mediterranean. Tanner How many killed? Straker Two silly sheep. What does it matter? Sheep don’t cost such a lot: they were glad to ave the price without the trouble o sellin em to the butcher. All the same, d’y’see, there’ll be a clamor agin it presently; and then the French Government’ll stop it; an our chance will be gone see? That what makes me fairly mad: Mr. Tanner won’t do a good run while he can. Tanner Tavy: do you remember my uncle James? Octavius Yes. Why? Tanner Uncle James had a first rate cook: he couldn’t digest anything except what she cooked. Well, the poor man was shy and hated society. But his cook was proud of her skill, and wanted to serve up dinners to princes and ambassadors. To prevent her from leaving him, that poor old man had to give a big dinner twice a month, and suffer agonies of awkwardness. Now here am I; and here is this chap Enry Straker, the New Man. I loathe travelling; but I rather like Enry. He cares for nothing but tearing along in a leather coat and goggles, with two inches of dust all over him, at sixty miles an hour and the risk of his life and mine. Except, of course, when he is lying on his back in the mud under the machine trying to find out where it has given way. Well, if I don’t give him a thousand mile run at least once a fortnight I shall lose him. He will give me the sack and go to some American millionaire; and I shall have to put up with a nice respectful groom-gardener-amateur, who will touch his hat and know his place. I am Enry’s slave, just as Uncle James was his cook’s slave. Straker Exasperated. Garn! I wish I had a car that would go as fast as you can talk, Mr. Tanner. What I say is that you lose money by a motor car unless you keep it workin. Might as well ave a pram and a nussmaid to wheel you in it as that car and me if you don’t git the last inch out of us both. Tanner Soothingly. All right, Henry, all right. We’ll go out for half an hour presently. Straker In disgust. Arf an ahr! He returns to his machine; seats himself in it; and turns up a fresh page of his paper in search of more news. Octavius Oh, that reminds me. I have a note for you from Rhoda. He gives Tanner a note. Tanner Opening it. I rather think Rhoda is heading for a row with Ann. As a rule there is only one person an English girl hates more than she hates her mother; and that’s her eldest sister. But Rhoda positively prefers her mother to Ann. She⁠—Indignantly. Oh, I say! Octavius What’s the matter? Tanner Rhoda was to have come with me for a ride in the motor car. She says Ann has forbidden her to go out with me. Straker suddenly begins whistling his favorite air with remarkable deliberation. Surprised by this burst of larklike melody, and jarred by a sardonic note in its cheerfulness, they turn and look inquiringly at him. But he is busy with his paper; and nothing comes of their movement. Octavius Recovering himself. Does she give any reason? Tanner Reason! An insult is not a reason. Ann forbids her to be alone with me on any occasion. Says I am not a fit person for a young girl to be with. What do you think of your paragon now? Octavius You must remember that she has a very heavy responsibility now that her father is dead. Mrs. Whitefield is too weak to control Rhoda. Tanner Staring at him. In short, you agree with Ann. Octavius No; but I think I understand her. You must admit that your views are hardly suited for the formation of a young girl’s mind and character. Tanner I admit nothing of the sort. I admit that the formation of a young lady’s mind and character usually consists in telling her lies; but I object to the particular lie that I am in the habit of abusing the