Satan’s Diary, Leonid Andreyev [the beginning after the end read novel .TXT] 📗

a whole people marvelous benefactions. Stupidity? Training? Habit? At that moment the marquis was reading the plea of some correspondent, in which, through the web of official mediocrity and the lies of swollen phrases, gleamed the very same confidence and sincere call. Was that, too, stupidity and habit?

“And so forth, and so forth,” interrupted the king listlessly: “that will do, Marquis, you may close your portfolio. Well, what you think of it, dear Mr. Wondergood?”

“I will be bold enough to say to Your Majesty that I am a representative of an old, democratic republic and.⁠ ⁠…”

“Stop, Wondergood! Republic, democracy! That’s nonsense. You know well enough yourself that a king is a necessity. You, in America, will have a king, too, some day. How can you get along without a king: who will be responsible for them before God? No, that’s foolish.”

This creature was actually getting ready to answer for the people before God! And he continued with the same calm audacity:

“The king can do everything. And what can a president do? Nothing. Do you understand, Wondergood⁠—Nothing! Why, then, do you want a president who can do nothing?”⁠—he deigned to twist his lower lip into a sarcastic smile.⁠—“It is all nonsense, invented by the newspapers. Would you, for example, take your president seriously, Mr. Wondergood?”

“But representative government.⁠ ⁠…”

“Fi! Excuse me, Mr. Wondergood (he recalled my name with great difficulty) but what fool will pay any attention to the representatives of the people? Citizen A will pay heed to Citizen B and Citizen B will pay heed to Citizen A⁠—is that not so? But who will compel their obedience if both of them are wise? No, I, too, have studied logic, Mr. Wondergood and you will permit me to indulge in a laugh!”

He laughed slightly and said with his usual gesture:

“Continue, Marquis.⁠ ⁠… No, let me do it. The King can do everything, Wondergood, you understand?”

“But the law.⁠ ⁠…”

“Ah, this fellow, too, speaks of law. Do you hear, Marquis? No, I really can’t understand what you want this law for! That all may suffer equitably! However, if you are so keen on having law, law you shall have. But who will give it to you, if not I?”

“But the representatives of the people.⁠ ⁠…”

The king directed his colorless eyes upon me, almost in despair:

“Ah, again citizen A and B! But can’t you understand, dear Wondergood? What kind of a law is it if they themselves make it? What wise man will agree to obey it? No, that’s nonsense. Is it possible that you yourself obey this law, Wondergood?”

“Not only I, Your Majesty, but the whole of America.⁠ ⁠…”

His eyes measured me with sympathy.

“Pardon me, but I don’t believe it. The whole of America! Well, in that case they simply don’t understand what law is⁠—do you hear, Marquis, the whole of America! But that’s not the thing. I must return, Wondergood. You’ve heard what the poor devils write?”

“I am happy to see that the road is open for you, my lord.”

“Open? You think so? Hm! No, I need money. Some write and others don’t, you understand?”

“Perhaps they don’t know how to write, my lord?”

“They? Oh! You should have seen what they wrote against me. I was quite flustered. What they need is the firing squad.”

“All of them?”

“Why all of them? Some of them will be enough. The rest of them will simply be scared to death. You understand, Wondergood, they have simply stolen my power from me and now, of course, will simply refuse to return it. You can’t expect me to see to it that no one robs me. And these gentlemen,”⁠—he indicated the blushing Marquis⁠—“to my sorrow did not manage to guard my interests.”

The Marquis mumbled confusedly:

“Sire!”

“Now, now, I know your devotion, but you were asleep at the switch just the same? And now there is so much trouble, so much trouble!”⁠—he sighed lightly. “Did not Cardinal X. tell you I needed money, Mr. Wondergood? He promised to. Of course I will return it all and⁠ ⁠… however, you should take this matter up with the Marquis. I have heard that you love people very much, Mr. Wondergood?”

A faint smile flitted over the dim face of Magnus. I bowed slightly.

“The Cardinal told me so. That is very praiseworthy, Mr. Wondergood. But if you do love people you will certainly give me money. I don’t doubt that in the least. They must have a king. The newspapers are merely prattling nonsense. Why do they have a king in Germany, a king in England, a king in Italy, and a hundred other kings? And don’t we need a king too?”

The adjutant mumbled:

“A misunderstanding.⁠ ⁠…”

“Of course a misunderstanding. The Marquis is quite right. The newspapers call it a revolution, but believe me, I know my people; it is simply a misunderstanding. They are now weeping themselves. How can they get along without a king? There would be no kings at all then. You understand? What nonsense! They now talk of no God, too. No, we must do a little shooting, a little shooting!”

He rose quickly and this time shook my hand with a patronizing smile and bowed to Magnus.

“Goodbye, goodbye, my dear Wondergood. You have a magnificent figure.⁠ ⁠… Oh, what a splendid fellow! The Marquis will drop in to see you one of these days. There was something more I wanted to say. Oh, yes: I hope that you in America will have a king, too, in the near future⁠ ⁠… that is very essential, my friend. Moreover, that’s bound to be the end! Au revoir!”

We escorted His Majesty with the same ceremony. The Marquis followed and his bowed head, divided into two halves by the part in his reddish hair, and his red face bore the expression of hunger and constant failure.⁠ ⁠… Ah, he has so frequently and so fruitlessly orated about that “misunderstanding”! The King, apparently, also recalled at that moment his vain knocking about at other thresholds: his bloodless face again filled with grayish ennui and in reply to my parting bow, he opened wide his eyes, as if in