The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance, Giulia Lagomarsino [acx book reading .txt] 📗

her way. Not looking will make her think that you don’t want to answer the question. Which, of course, you don’t want to, but you have to so that she doesn’t kill you.

Making jokes about her weight is a no-no. You may think that you’re trying to relieve the tension, but you’re really just making her seethe inside.

Refusing to answer is just like saying that she’s fat.

If she asks if she looks like a stuffed sausage, immediately answer no. Again, laughing or refusing to answer will not make her feel confident.

Asking her to turn so you can check her out from all angles is as good as admitting there’s a problem, but you’re trying to determine how bad it is.

Finding her another pair of pants will end badly for you.

Now, that being said, there are other areas of her body that you can definitely check out as you answer. In fact, enthusiasm is greatly appreciated. For example, are my boobs too big?

Hell no! Your boobs are huge, and I love them that way!

God, I’d love to motorboat you right now.

Throwing out an ‘I love your tits’ can never end badly.

Cupping her breast while muttering ‘fucking perfect’ will end in bed or with a blow job. I’m just saying…

Hell Hath No Fury

Your Woman Is Pissed At You. Let’s Examine Why.

Let’s face it, women can lose their tempers faster than any man. You most likely won’t know why, and you may never find out. But let’s examine some of the reasons a woman may be upset with you.

1. Did you put a tracker on your woman? If so, was it voluntary? We’ve all been there. Women are dangerous creatures, and even more so when they’re running around on their own. You have no idea if they’re safe or what trouble they could be getting into. This is true for pretty much all the women of Reed Security, but let’s examine just a few of the women, so you can look out for signs.

Maggie. This is pretty much self-explanatory, but going back through the years, we can see the line of destruction like a wildfire spreading through a forest. Known for running off on her own, she’s bound to find trouble with the stories she chases, often carrying weapons to take out anyone in her way.

Brooke. Looking back at Brooke’s history, you may think that she was the innocent party. She had been wronged. Her boyfriend used her…and then the crazy came out. Never trust a woman with a bat. It will only end badly. Then, to make matters worse, she took Rocco hostage. Now, I’m not saying that he was totally innocent in this whole thing. He did, after all, go along with it all to get laid. However, when dealing with a woman like this, you can never let your dick get in the way. It leads to destructive patterns.

Claire. Yes, sweet, innocent Claire. She’s not so sweet and innocent since Derek came into her life. Now she’s more likely to be carrying a weapon than him. I.E. Thanksgiving at his brother’s…I’m just saying, he was packing for pregnancy, and she was packing for war. This is an example of a dangerous woman.

Cara. So, everyone assumed that she was the weak one. She was terrified of her own shadow for so long, no one assumed that she would break out of that shell. Except for Sinner. He saw it all along, and he encouraged it. What’s more cathartic than taking out some bad guys? Apparently, this is one situation in which anxiety doesn’t strike.

2. Did you fuck her and leave her, only to come back for more when she least expected it? Women don’t want to feel like a booty call, so if you’re going to do this, you’d better be prepared to tell her you love her first to avoid her wrath.

3. Okay, men can occasionally be stupid when it comes to compliments. What sounds great to you, sounds like an insult to a woman. Men like that juicy ass to grab onto when they fuck. If you say that to a woman, you’ve just told her she’s fat.

4. Did you forget to pack the weapons? I know this seems like a silly question, but remember, you trained your woman to be drawn to guns. Leave the clothes, take the guns.

5. Taking a spa day and leaving your woman at home to take care of the kids is just bad form. Remember, you’re a man. You’re not supposed to like the spa.

6. Did you yell at her for almost shooting you? You did give her a gun.

7. Are you in a high pressure situation? These tend to draw out strong emotions in women, and they all react differently. Some join the fight, while others respond sarcastically. Just stay calm and weather the storm.

8. Did you in any way contribute to the burning of her business? This is one of those things that are less forgivable, and you’re really going to have to work for that forgiveness.

9. Did a killer robot go after your woman?

Guys, the list goes on and on. Use your head here. If it probably wouldn’t make you mad, your woman is probably furious over it.

So She’s Stronger Than You

Your Woman Can Kick Your Ass. Eat It Up.

Parting words from Parker:

So, your woman can hand you your ass on any given day. Fellas, this is not a bad thing. There is nothing sexier than a woman that can take you in a fight. It’s like foreplay. She punches you, and you try to punch her back. She throws you against the wall, and you see it as an opportunity to kiss her. She knees you in the balls, but you only get harder. But the pièce de résistance is when she shoves you through a window. You didn’t know she had it in her. You thought you were going easy on her. You thought you were letting her win.

You weren’t.

I hate to tell you