Kelly Jamieson, How (html) [top 10 motivational books txt] 📗

toexplain that? Yes, his career was important to him, but it never should havebeen more important than his wife. He had to face the fact he had used hiscareer as an excuse to not be there, not wanting to deal with the fact hedidn't feel the same about Lisa as he had when they'd got married. He didn'tknow what had happened. He loved her, but in an affectionate, friendly way.

"Chicken and egg thing,"he said, getting a confused look from her. He explained. "I didn't want tobe at home because I didn't want to face the fact our marriage was over, butmaybe if I'd been home more, our marriage would've been better."

"I'm sorry, too, Trey."She spoke with choked emotion. "I shouldn't have done what I did. I waslonely, but that's no excuse. I know if there were problems in our marriage, Ishould've talked to you about it, not someone else. And especially not yourbrother."

"I felt betrayed," Treysaid, with difficulty. "But it's also a form of betrayal when you withholdyour feelings, withdraw, don't share your feelings, hopes, fears and I guesswe're both guilty of that."

"That's true." She lookedsurprised. "Wow, Trey, I can't believe you just said that."

He couldn't believe it either.Marli--he'd betrayed her that way, too. His chest ached.

"I felt like you let medown," Lisa said. "You weren't there and didn't seem to care. It wasjust all so...exciting. Travis was interested in me. He was there; he listenedto me. He made me feel special. Desirable." She wiped her eyes with herfingertips. "You'll never know how guilty I feel about what I did. And notonly have I messed up your life, my life and Travis's life, but I've messed upAidan's life, too." Her voice broke. "He's so little and he doesn'tdeserve that. He hasn't done anything."

"We'll make sure his life isn'tmessed up," Trey said hoarsely. He cleared his throat. "I've beenthinking about that. Sheldon Barnes' mother screwed him up because of all thenutso things she did to him. Look what happened to him." He shook hishead.

"You're not comparing me to hismother!"

"God, no, that's not what I meantat all," he said hurriedly. "I'm just saying, what happens to a kidearly in life affects him always. Yeah, our family is messed up right now, butwe don't have to ruin Aidan's life. That's why I'm here, and I'll make sureTravis is here for you and for Aidan, or I'll kick his butt."

She laughed through her tears."Okay."

He wasn't sure if he could forgiveLisa and Travis for what they'd done. Maybe some day. Forgiveness wasn'tnecessarily forgetting--that would certainly never happen--but maybe forgivenesswas just committing to not dwell on what had happened. Maybe replacing painful,angry thoughts with positive thoughts about Aidan and the possibilities of hislife would lead to forgiveness. Trey was determined he would never take out allhis hurt and anger and feelings of betrayal on the little guy sleepingpeacefully across the room.

"You're a good man, Trey,"Lisa said.

Enough people kept telling him that,he might actually start to believe it. "Nah. I've made a lot ofmistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes. Butwe can learn from them."

He considered it. Sure, that was thecliche. But maybe he could learn to be a better husband, a better person,someone Marli could deserve.

"Trey, I don't know if you canever forgive me, but we could try to start over."

He looked at Lisa and knew theanswer to that deep inside him, and it had nothing to do with betrayal orforgiveness.

"It's too late, isn't it?"Her face shadowed with sorrow.

He nodded. "I'm sorry."

He had many other things he had todo. See his lawyer. His doctor. His supervisor. And most of all, his family.First, his brother.

Travis's mouth dropped when heopened the door to him. "Trey."

Trey wasn't sure how to handle this."Hey."

"You're...back. We saw you onTV." He stood aside and motioned Trey into his apartment. "Youfinally got that bastard."

Trey nodded, ran a hand through hishair as he walked in. "Yeah. Finally."

"So..." Travis swallowed,eyes looking everywhere but at Trey.

"We need to talk."

Travis grimaced. "Yeah. I guessso." Trey took a chair, while Travis lowered himself to the couch. "Iguess I should start. With an apology." He leaned forward, arms on hisknees. "I don't know what else to say, except I'm really, really sorry,Trey."

There was a long silence, fraughtwith tension. "Why, Travis? Why'd you do that?"

"It's not a question of why Idid it," Travis answered slowly. "It's more, why didn't I stop. Ididn't set out to steal your wife. It just kind of happened. I'd drop by to seeyou and you were never there, and Lisa was. She was kind of lonely. We'd go outfor coffee. We talked."

He hung his head. "I've alwaysliked Lisa. Even before you two got married, but honest to God, I'd never havedeliberately done anything. But she was there, and available and lonely, and itjust happened.

"It's not an excuse,"Travis added. "There is no excuse. I'm just telling you what happened. AndI'm sorry. I should've done the right thing and just walked away. But I'm notstrong and perfect like you."

Trey snorted, rolled his eyes atthat.

"You have a nephew, Trey. Youshould see him."

"I already did." Hepaused. "You and Lisa?"

Travis shook his head. "We'renot together. I'm going to be in Aidan's life, but things didn't work out withme and Lisa," he said gloomily. "She doesn't feel that way aboutme." He met Travis's eyes. "I think she's still in love with you,Trey."

Sadness pushed down on him. "Wefell out of love a long time ago."

Silence weighed heavy for a moment.

"Mom and Dad are worried sickabout you," Travis said. "So's Julie. You have to talk to them."

Hearing that reminded him of Marliand the things she'd said to him, and then he remembered... "Get up,"he said.

"Huh?"

"Get up," he repeated in ahard voice, standing. His fists clenched at his side. Travis slowly stood. Treymoved around the coffee table and with a lightning-fast move, he drove his fistinto