Kelly Jamieson, How (html) [top 10 motivational books txt] 📗

"Oh,shit." She swiped at tears in her eyes. "I never used to cry,"she told him fiercely. "I've cried more around you than I have since I wasa baby."

"It's okay, sweetheart."He pulled her close. "You can cry in front of me any time you want."

"Good to know," shemurmured. "Now tell me, what's going on? Am I having an affair with amarried man?"

Direct, to the point... Heloved that about her. "Are we having an affair?"

"I don't know. Are we? I don'thave a hot clue what's going on here."

He laughed. "Okay, technically,yes, I'm still married, but the divorce is in the works. I saw my lawyer onTuesday."

"Oh." He could feel herrelief.

"And we're not having anaffair."

"We're not?"

"No." He shook his headlooked her steadily in the eye. "This is more than an affair."

"Oh."

"I also saw my doctor onWednesday and got the test results Thursday. I'm clean, so nothing to worryabout there."

Her smile was relieved. "So wewere okay without a condom."

"Yeah. I went to see myparents, too. Let them know I'm okay. In fact, better than okay, thanks toyou."

"You've been busy."

"And I went to see my boss atwork."

"Oh."

"Yup. We had a good talk. NowI've got my shit together, I'm ready to go back to work. So I requested atransfer."

"Really? Hmmm." She put afinger to her lips, her eyes gleaming. "Let me guess. San Francisco, soyou can work with Kent again? "

He laughed. "Wrong. I start inthe LA office in two weeks. He agreed that starting fresh in a new office wouldbe a good idea. I have to go back and clean up some stuff in San Diego, butI'll be moving here. Which leads to my next problem, which is, finding a placeto live."

"Trey--"

"Wait." He held up a hand."I'm not saying I want to move in with you. Not right away anyway. Wereally need time, I think. God, I'm not even divorced yet. I'm still no prize,that's for sure. I still have a lot of crap to deal with and I need to do thaton my own."

"I can help you," shemurmured.

"I know you can. I want you to.You've had a rough time lately, too. We can help each other. I need you, Marli.But I want to get established here, have a life, get to know you...take you onanother date, maybe. And one day, when my divorce is final, we can see howthings are going..."

"I can live with that."

"I'm here for the weekend,though," he said with a smile. "Maybe you can put me up just for acouple of days? I'd like to make love to you somewhere other than a hotelroom."

"We just did," she pointedout.

He laughed. "Oh, yeah."Then he took a deep breath. "The other person I went to see this week wasLisa. And the baby."

"Oh, Trey." She sighed."Was that hard?"

"Yeah, but not so much once I gotthere. We talked and got some stuff out in the open. But there still is onething I need to tell you."

"What's that?"

"The fact that Lisa will stillbe in my life. I want to be up front with you because you're always up frontwith me. I told her if Travis ever reneges on his responsibilities to Aidan, ifshe ever needs anything, that she can call me. Because I don't want to seeAidan's whole life screwed up because the adults in his life can't get ittogether."

She gazed at him in silence.

"Is that a problem foryou?" he asked, watching her, his insides knotting.

"You are so amazing," shesaid in a choked voice and kissed him adoringly. "God, I love you."

He kissed her back, relief andgratitude swelling in him. "Lisa and I were both responsible for ourmarriage falling apart," he said when they drew apart. "Once Iadmitted that, it was as if a huge load lifted off me. I still have to dealwith their betrayal, but it somehow doesn't seem so bad."

"Yeah. I know what you mean.So, that's good."

"Lisa's going to have a roughtime raising a kid on her own." He paused. "And," he continued,"the really good thing is that now I know I have feelings. I havefeelings for you I've never felt before, so it's not all a tragedy."

She nodded.

"Being away from you puteverything into perspective. What's important and what's not. Dwelling on thepast and my own screw-ups is not important. I decided that's what forgivenessis--not dwelling on the negative. So I'm trying to stop beating myselfup."

She eyed him solemnly. "Youhelped me to stop doing that. I knew if you could only do it foryourself, you'd be okay." She searched his face. "I thought...whenyou left...I thought maybe you were going back to try to work things out withLisa."

"No." He pressed her headto his chest. "I haven't loved her for a long time, truth be told. Therewere problems in our marriage for quite a while. We didn't fight or anything. Ijust didn't feel the same about her. But instead of dealing with it, talking toher, I took the coward's way out and spent all my time at work."

"I would never let youget away with that."

"I know," he saidfervently. "Please, Marli, don't ever let me get away with crap like thatwith you." He hugged her tightly. "But the person I need to be themost honest and open with about my own failings and feelings is me. I'vebeen telling myself a lot of crap for the last six or seven months...or longer.Crap like talking about my feelings, or asking for help, is a sign of weakness.And look what happened." He sighed. "But you made me realize maybe I dodeserve to be happy. Maybe I'm even good enough for you." He paused, histhroat tight. "You saved my life, Marli."

She shook her head. "Uh-uh.Other way around, buddy, remember? You saved my life, like ten times." Sheteared up again. "God, what a suck I am." She brushed wetness away.

"Yes, you did save mylife. I didn't know