Googol Boy and the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy, John Michael [white hot kiss txt] 📗

groundskeeper Red and he was picking up the litter which had been discarded on the lawn. He was scurrying around like an annoyed raccoon and every time he looked up at the stage, I could see a big snarl on his face − it was obvious that he wasn’t a fan of the Great Quiz.

The audience cheered as Savani answered yet another question correctly and the principal took to the microphone again. “Looks like we will be here for a while folks. To be certain, this is the most tenacious display of fortitude since Custer fell to the Indians at the Battle of the Little Bighorn.” He then turned to me to ask the next question. “Originally published in 1869, this novel is –”

I exploded in one almighty sneeze as I sprayed Barney and interrupted the principal mid-sentence.

“Oh my gracious! Bless you my young man, and À tes souhaits with a dash of gesundheit for good measure,” offered Mr Ditherington.

“Not again!” grumbled Barney as he wiped his face with his sleeve. “What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure Barney but I’m feeling somewhat dizzy and my head is spinning.”

“Now, if you’re ready I will finish the question,” stated the principal.

I slowly nodded but my head felt like a bloated pumpkin.

“Originally published in 1869, this book is over 1000 pages long and is considered by many critics to be the greatest novel ever written. The story focuses on the personal lives of a group of aristocratic families during the Napoleonic era. What is the title of this novel?”

I attempted to answer the question but my mind completely zonked out. Bummer! My brain felt as listless as a big fat slug in a tub of lard.

“Well? What’s the answer?” Barney asked.

“I dunno Barn! I feel a fever coming on and my brain feels all foggy.”

“You’ve probably picked up a virus from somewhere — remember when I was sick last month. My mum was going on about how I don’t get enough vitamin C and she was convinced that I had scurvy. It all started with the sneezing and the dizzy spells but then it got all nasty with the green phlegm, swollen tonsils, bloodshot eyes, yellow mucus –”

“That’s exactly right Barney!”

“What? About the scurvy?”

“Huh? No!”

“About the phlegm?”

“About the virus.”

“Yeah the virus... I know... that phlegm was like week-old porridge and –”

“Never mind that now! I meant my virus! The virus that I have is making me sneeze and feel lousy but is also functioning like a computer virus and slowing down my brain power.”

“You mean your magic has gone? You’re just the same old Howie that I used to know?”

“I guess so.”

“But how did this all happen?”

“A biological virus behaves in a way similar to a computer virus, infecting the inner workings of its host. I’m sorry Barney.”

“No! This can’t be happening. We’re so close! We can’t lose now. I can’t let this happen, I won’t let this happen and I can’t let this happen!”

“The question one last time,” stressed Mr Ditherington. “Originally published in 1869, this book is over 1000 pages long and is considered by many critics to be the greatest novel ever written. The story focuses on the personal lives of a group of aristocratic families during the Napoleonic era. What is the title of this novel?”

I was watching the principal’s lips move and I was hearing the words but they just weren’t registering.

“Howie! Come on!” yelped Barney. “You can still do this!”

“It’s no use Barney... I’m trying but my brain feels like wet cement.”

“I’m afraid that I need your answer,” insisted Mr Ditherington.

Time seemed to slow down. The audience were all still and silent, it was so quiet that you could hear the rustling of the leaves in the trees.

I looked over at Barney. “I’ve got nothing... sorry.”

“Well, that’s just not good enough! Aren’t you the Howard Sootfell who plucked a great science speech out of thin air, stood up to Mr Perriman and shot three baskets in a row, and who wrestled the alligators that tried to eat Matron Fulton?”

“Hmm... I’m not so sure about that last one... but I guess you’re right, it’s just that I can’t –”

“You need to snap out of it Howie! There’s no can’t in cannoli!” yelled Barney as he grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a vigorous shake, actually it was beyond a vigorous shake... I could feel my teeth rattle.

I protested.

Barney released me and I guess that the shaking must have had some effect because out of the numbing vacuum of my brain came two distinct images − one of soldiers on a battlefield shooting at each other with guns and cannons and the other of a white dove with a twig in its beak flying against the backdrop of a brilliant blue sky.

“I’m afraid that I will need an answer now or you will have to forfeit the quiz,” warned the principal.

What could these two images represent? I looked around trying to find some inspiration but was met with Savani’s smirking face. I could see it in her eyes, she could sense victory − it was seconds away. “Concentrate Howie!” I told myself. “Think! Think!” Was the novel’s title Fight or Flight? No, that couldn’t be it. What about Bullets and Birds? Nah, that didn’t sound right.

“Hurry Howie!” yelled Barney.

“Okay... okay,” I replied as I held my head with both hands in order to steady my thoughts.

“Your answer now!” demanded Mr Ditherington.

“War and Peace!” I blurted out without even thinking.

“War and Peace is your final answer?”

“Yes... I mean no... I mean yes.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“We’ll take it,” replied Barney as he shrugged his shoulders at me.

“You’re right Barn,” I responded. “It’s not like we have a choice.”

“Hmm... I see... well that is the correct answer!” declared the principal. “Congratulations!”

The entire crowd erupted in cheers and embarrassingly enough, I heard my mum yell out “That s my boy!” Even groundskeeper Red seemed to have briefly lost his