Chances Come, Ney Mitch [snow like ashes series TXT] 📗

not even care for Mr. Darcy when you met him. You never showed any particular interest in him at all. In fact, you sometimes were short with him. Yet, I was there to always flatter him, bestow attention on him and take an interest in his interests. And yet, he pushed me aside and sought you out.”

“First, my lack of partiality for him originated from his lack of partiality for me. I was not in the habit of taking interest in a man who showed nothing for me. And second, yes, you flattered him, but think on his life. He is wealthy, renowned, and therefore, many women must have sought after him, viewing him as a prize for them or for their daughters to obtain. He’s used to being regarded as people looking on him as a prize! And then, you meet him, and you fall into the crowd of many voices who make him feel the same discomfort that he felt every other time that he was put on display. It is not an easy thing to be looked on as an object that must be won. When he met me, I did not seek him out. Therefore, there was nothing that I had done to bait him, to lure him in. He did not feel like an object around me. Does that make any sense to you?”

Caroline Bingley looked down at the floor.

“Yes,” she said, “I suppose that it does. No one ever mentioned it to me in that way before. Yet, it is a frightening thing… that sometimes the only way to win a man’s affections is to not show him any.”

“It is not that necessarily. Some men do like seeing a woman show affection for him quickly. Other men prefer to know your heart in moderation. They wish to know you first, and then learn of your heart later. Other men prefer a chase. The lesson of this situation, if there is a lesson, is that not all men are the same. Mr. Darcy is not the same as any man you or I have ever met. Besides, we do not know that Mr. Darcy is fully in love with me. All that I am aware of is that I am in love with him.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“It hurts me to hear that. And to know that I was correct all this time. When I first met you, I got the sense that you would be the one to hurt me in some way.”

This confession confused me as well as amazed me.

“How? And why?”

“I do not know. With Jane, she was beautiful, and I should have been wary of her, but I knew that she was not the sort to attract him. Yet, with you, you seemed different, and for reasons that I cannot fathom, I felt that somehow, you would be the one to upset my happiness. And I was correct. Miss Eliza, I speak now as someone who does not wish to hurt you, or be cruel to you, but I cannot bear the sight of you now. Please understand, I wish that I did not feel this anger and resentment, but I do. I cannot help myself. I am just so heartbroken, and it tears me apart. Therefore, I thank you for speaking to me now. By doing so, you are showing me your goodness, but nothing can cure me now. Let us part, so I can recover alone.”

In that moment, my heart did reach out to her. She had hurt me, her character was that of a pretentious person who felt always above lower company, and she was artful. Yet, in that moment, all of us women are the same. She was heartbroken and I was one of the tools through which her heart had been affected.

“Yes. I am sorry for the pain that I cause you.”

“Thank you,” she replied, “and I wish that I could admire you for it. I ought to. But I cannot.”

“I understand.”

I left her alone to accept the reality that this was one of the worst days of her life.

At some point, I had a moment to relax and take a breath from all the dancing. That evening, I had danced every dance up until that point, and I was quite exhausted. Yet, since I had not made many acquaintances at the ball, I felt certain that I did not have to worry about being asked.

Mr. Darcy was engaged, at present, for he was dancing with Mrs. Hurst. As my eyes scanned the set of dancers, I was surprised to see Kitty standing up with Sir Aleck again, but it was a welcome sight. She appeared to be enjoying herself and he was doing so as well. Indeed, a woman’s dressmaker was truly her greatest friend, for Kitty’s gown suited her so well, that I believed that it had made Kitty look as lovely as Jane. It also helped that her hair was done by the very best of Darcy’s servants. Usually, up until this point, Kitty had to make do with being the fourth prepared of us Bennet sisters, and by the time that the servants had reached her, her hair was never going to be the best. Yet now, it was done in a way that flattered her face and augmented her style of beauty. In that moment, I could say that I was truly content.

My father was gone… yet, I would recover.

Longbourn was still not fully known to be ours… but I had the feeling that we would fall somewhere. In life there are cracks that a person can fall into, and those cracks can either lead to a deep abyss, or into a comfortable place. I felt that whatever our circumstances, there would be someone to assist us, and not to cast us aside among the rocks of misfortune and destitution. For the first time in so long I felt as if… we had a future, and the future was definite.

Yet, a moment