Chances Come, Ney Mitch [snow like ashes series TXT] 📗

morning or afternoon calls. Darcy arranged for us all to eat breakfast in our rooms, sensing that we needed a day to ourselves, and we were eternally grateful for it.

Once I had dressed and felt most awake, I left my room to look in on Jane. As I was about to enter, Kitty emerged from her own room.

“Lizzy?” Kitty said.

“Morning, Kitty. Did you sleep well?”

“Very well. You are going to see Jane?”

“Yes.”

“Well, can you do me a favor and if she has any spare paper in her room, can she loan me some? And, sorry for putting you in this position, but if she does not have any, can you ask Mr. Darcy if he might trouble himself to loan me some? I would not request it if I didn’t need it.”

“I shall ask him.”

“Thank you.”

She closed her door and disappeared.

Thinking nothing of her request, I knocked on Jane’s door.

“Who is it?” Jane asked.

“Tis I,” I replied.

“Come in, Lizzy!” Jane replied urgently.

I opened the door and Jane was sitting and looking out of the window. In her lap was a book.

“I came to see how you were,” I replied, closing the door.

“I am well,” she answered.

“You did not sound so just a second ago.” I closed the door behind me. “You sounded desperate.”

Jane gazed at me then returned to look outside.

“Yes, you are correct. There is no point in me hiding. After all, what is the point now? What is the point of anything?”

This last sentence uttered was a pitiable one.

“Jane,” I began, taking a seat right next to hers, “what does that mean?”

Jane picked up the book in her lap.

“I have been trying to read this for quite some time now, but I find that I cannot even focus on the words.” She closed the book and put it on the table. “Yesterday was supposed to be perfect, that’s all.”

“Yet, it was not.”

“No, it was not. I expected us all to gain some pleasure from it. An immeasurable amount. Of course, it was lovely, and do not mistake me. I did have a wonderful time. Mr. Darcy was delightful for getting us an invitation and Sir Aleck was a gracious and amiable host.”

“Jane, I know that you enjoyed them, so we need not spend time talking about them. We can talk about what concerns you most. I know that you wish to speak about Mr. Bingley and the Colonel.”

“I am being foolish, I know. For after all, my worries may be over nothing. For all that I know, neither man may truly care for me, so my anxieties perhaps are ill founded.”

“If you are worried that both men are in love with you at the same time, then no, your anxieties are not ill founded,” I assured her. “And your judgment is accurate. Both men are in love with you. Both men want you to know it. Both men danced with you three times each at the ball. And yes, both men are aware that the other is in love with you, and neither likes it.”

Jane pressed her palms against her skirt and looked down at the floor.

“I did not want this sort of thing to ever occur. Especially on my behalf.”

“You neither asked for it, nor caused it. Both men made their choice all on their own. So, how does this all make you feel?”

She looked at me in total frustration. “So utterly overcome, nervous and fretful. I feel agony over the pain that both of them must be feeling. Indeed, I do wish to alleviate their woes and wish that they had never rested their eyes upon me.”

“Do you really? For I know that you admire them and enjoy their company.”

“But I would not be so selfish as to prefer my own comfort to theirs.”

“It is fine to be selfish at this time. For only by hearing what your heart is telling you can you make the right decision.”

“Lizzy, what am I to do now?”

“What your heart is telling you. And if that is a voice that you do not wish to communicate with at this time, then let us listen to what your head is talking about. Pick a voice. Any voice! But do not give way to silence. Silence never achieves anything, despite what everyone tells you. Right now, both men are in a state of romantic pursuits, and competition between each other. Yet, let us assume that at some point, both men might make you an offer. How do you feel towards them?”

“That is the hard thing, Lizzy. This is the hardest thing of all and I beg that you will believe me.”

“I shall believe you.”

“I care for them both. I like them both exceedingly. With Mr. Bingley, you know that I was always impressed with his liveliness, his gentle manners, and he is good humored.”

“And the Colonel?”

“His charm is different. He is not as handsome as Mr. Bingley, and yet, I find that I do not care. I do not care at all. For there is something about his nature which makes him like the rocks beneath the earth. He has a strong foundation. But what makes it all the more confusing is my own character. With Bingley, I feel such a joy in his company, and I admire that he enjoys my shyness. Yet, with the Colonel, I am not shy at all. I am different around him, somehow. Both men bring out a different side of me, and I am wondering which side of me should be presented.”

I truly felt sympathy for her situation. “I can see your confusion there.”

“But there is another matter. Colonel Fitzwilliam has a profession, and he needs to marry an heiress to maintain his life. I am not an heiress, so I am not the best candidate for a wife. I can bring him nothing.”

“You can bring him love.”

“Yes, but he might grow to care more for money later. With Mr. Bingley, I know that he will be able to provide for us well, but