Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

disagreeable

man on Elizabeth, or would she have been stunned, and

fallen blissfully silent? I was tempted to try, but I could

not embarrass Elizabeth.

I could not keep my mind on the game. I lost repeatedly. I looked for an opportunity to speak to Elizabeth

before I left, but I could not find one, and I returned to

Netherfield in sombre mood.

Bingley, by contrast, was brimming with happiness. I

have decided that, tomorrow, I must tell him that Miss

Bennet was in town, and that I kept it from him. He will

not be pleased, but the deception has gone on for long

enough.

Wednesday 24th September

‘Is Miss Bennet not the most beautiful girl you have ever

seen?’ Bingley asked me this evening as we played billiards.

‘She is.’

‘I think there might be hope,’ he said.

‘I am sure there is.’ I hesitated, but I had to speak.‘Bingley, there is something I have to tell you.’

‘Oh?’

He looked at me in all innocence, and I felt guilty for

the part I had played in deceiving him.

‘I have done you a great disservice. Last spring, Miss

Bennet was in town.’

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‘But I did not see her!’ he said in surprise.

‘No. I know. I should have told you, but I thought you

had forgotten her. No, let me be honest, I hoped you had

forgotten her, or would forget her, if you did not see her

again.’

‘Darcy!’ He was hurt.

‘I am sorry. I had no right to meddle in your affairs. It

was impertinent of me.’

‘So she followed me to London?’ he said, forgetting

my deceit in the happiness of thinking that she had followed him.

‘She went to stay with her aunt and uncle, but she

tried to see you.That is, she wrote to Caroline.’

‘Caroline! She knew of it, too?’

‘Yes. I am ashamed to say that Caroline cut Miss Bennet, and that I encouraged her.’

‘Darcy!’

He was vexed.

‘I behaved very badly, and I beg your pardon.’

‘If she agrees to be my wife, you will have it. But perhaps in the future you will consider that I can manage

my own affairs.’

‘I will, and better than I manage mine.’

He looked at me enquiringly.

I said no more. I cannot speak of my love for Elizabeth until I know it is returned. Unless I know it is

returned.

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Thursday 25th September

I have been obliged to return to town. How long I stay

for will depend on circumstances.

Tuesday 30th September

I had a letter from Bingley this morning, evidently written in haste. It was blotted and so badly written as to be

almost illegible. But at last I made it out.

My dear Darcy,

Congratulate me! Jane and I are to be married!

She is the sweetest, most adorable angel! I can-

not believe I have been lucky enough to win

her. Her mother is in raptures. Her father is

pleased. Elizabeth is delighted. I have time for

no more. Caroline bids me send you her greet-

ings. She is already planning her dress as the

maid of honour, and looks forward to seeing you

at the wedding.

Charles Bingley

PS I forgot to ask.You will stand up with me?

C.B.

I wrote to him, sending him my heartiest congratulations and telling him that of course I will stand up with

him. I was tempted to return to Netherfield and give him

my best wishes personally, but Georgiana is unwell and I

intend to remain in town until she is better.

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As I sit with her, I cannot help thinking of Elizabeth.

The two of them would be friends if Elizabeth consents

to be my wife. It is in every way such a longed-for conclusion of everything that has happened, and yet I am

apprehensive. I have seen no sign in Elizabeth’s words or

manner to make me think my feelings are returned. And

yet I saw nothing to make me think she is irrevocably set

against me. I am almost afraid to return to Longbourn.

Whilst I am with Georgiana I still have hope, but once I

return to Longbourn it may be dashed for ever.

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October

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Thursday 2nd October

Colonel Fitzwilliam called to see how Georgiana was

getting on. She is much recovered, and I will be able to

return to Netherfield in a few days’ time.

‘You have been to Netherfield, I understand?’ he said.

We were eating in the dining-room. Georgiana, still

listless from her illness, took dinner in her room.

‘Yes.’ I told him of Bingley’s engagement.

‘And do you mind?’

‘No. I am very happy for him. I am happy for them

both.’

‘Did Miss Elizabeth Bennet speak to you about your

letter? Has she accepted that you did not ruin Wickham?’

he asked hesitantly.

‘She has said nothing, but I think she has accepted it.’

‘And has it softened her feelings towards you?’

I did not know how to reply.

‘These affairs are painful whilst they last, but they

should not be allowed to last for ever,’ he said. ‘It is time

you looked to the future again, Darcy.You should marry.

It would be good for Georgiana to have a woman in the

house.’ He took a mouthful of turbot, then said: ‘Anne

has been expecting your proposal for several years.’

‘Anne?’ I asked in surprise.

‘Come now, Darcy, you know Lady Catherine has

regarded your marriage as a settled thing since you were

in your cradles. I was surprised you offered your hand to

Elizabeth, but as it was none of my business I held my

peace. Now that she has rejected you, however, I think

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you should formalize your engagement to Anne.’

‘I have no intention of marrying Anne,’ I said.

‘But Lady Catherine expects it. She and your mother

betrothed you and Anne in your cradles.’

‘She is not serious in that? I have heard her say it

many times, but I took it for an idle fancy, such