The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance, Giulia Lagomarsino [acx book reading .txt] 📗

minister? It’s fucking with my reputation.

Giulia: Not really. I mean, you’re a cool minister.

Hunter: A minister isn’t someone you associate with having sex.

Giulia: That’s the Catholic faith. You can still have sex, and you’re married, so what do you care?

Hunter: I just don’t understand why you had to go and make me look like a pussy.

Giulia: Is this because I didn’t have you marry Storm and Jessica in front of everyone?

Hunter: Maybe.

Giulia: Because you had a pretty big part in GoodKnight and even Parker’s book. I think it’s only fair that everyone else got some screen time in too.

Hunter: I’m just saying, first it was the whole waxing thing, and then you had me staring at another guy’s dick. Then I become a minister? What the actual fuck?

Giulia: I had no idea you felt this way.

Hunter: Well, you didn’t actually ask me how I felt.

Giulia: Okay, well, how do you feel about having more kids?

Hunter: The series is over. It’s not like it matters anymore. You had Lucy and I wait long enough.

Giulia: Well, just because the series is over, that doesn’t mean that things can’t happen between now and when your kids are older. I could make you have like ten more kids if you wanted.

Hunter: Right, like I want to be like Cap.

Giulia: Think about it. I won’t actually be writing any of this, so you could have the large family without the hassle of having to raise all the kids. It’s kind of perfect. One day, I snap my fingers and there you are with all those kids.

Hunter: Well, that doesn’t sound too bad.

Giulia: Of course, then I’ll have to think up all these funny stories to go with you raising all those kids. I can’t promise that you’ll come out the same way you went in.

Hunter: Or… you could have something really awesome happen, sort of like you did with Knight in his first book. I could disappear and everyone could think I’m dead. Then, imagine how much head I would get from Lucy when I came back from the dead.

Giulia: So, you want me to kill you off sometime over the next few series.

Hunter nods.

Giulia: Then, your kids will suffer and be traumatized by your death in their adult lives. It’ll definitely add character to their characters…Did you see how I did that?

Hunter: Okay, I’m liking this.

Giulia: And when you come back from the dead, you’re absolutely shocked to find that Lucy moved on without you.

Hunter stops nodding and looks at me in confusion.

Hunter: Why would she move on?

Giulia: Well, you don’t expect her to stay celibate for the rest of her life just because you died, do you?

Hunter: I guess I hadn’t thought-

Giulia: And she could have more kids with this guy. Maybe he has a better job, one where he doesn’t almost die in several books.

Hunter: But you did that to me.

Giulia: Yeah, but the series is over now. There’s no point in killing off the next spouse. So, then you’ll come back from the dead, and your kids will be shocked and upset. Lucy will probably punch you and then kick you in the nuts. And you won’t get any head. So, what do you think?

Hunter runs his hand across his jaw as he subtly closes his legs to block off any attacks.

Hunter: You know, I think we should put a pin in that grenade for another time.

I nod slightly with a grin.

Giulia: I thought you would say that.

Whiskey

Giulia: Chris, it’s good to see you. Love the cowboy hat.

Chris: Thank you, ma’am.

Giulia: How are you feeling about the series ending?

Chris: I’m feeling good about it. I have my woman. I have my kids. Things are going well for us.

Giulia: Were you able to stop Axel from screwing the tranny?

Chris: I don’t want to talk about it.

Giulia: Oh, don’t be like that. The readers are dying to know how far it got.

Chris grits his teeth, refusing to answer.

Giulia: I’m sure there are other things about you that I could tell the readers. Things you may not want them to know.

Chris: Like what?

Giulia: Like…what really happened after you and Ice waxed Jules.

Chris: Nothing happened.

Giulia: Not on paper. But that doesn’t mean that something didn’t happen after the scene ended.

Chris: You wouldn’t.

Giulia: You don’t really believe that.

We sat and stared at each other as he tried to decide what to do. He knew I had him. There was no way he was getting out of this.

Chris: Fine, you want to play dirty?

Giulia: Is there another way to play?

He leaned forward and grinned.

Chris: I think I just killed off Plaid Man.

I gasp.

Giulia: You wouldn’t. You can’t.

Chris: You’re the one that’s always saying that you don’t really control what the characters do. He was at the party. I took him out hunting, and you know, he wasn’t wearing an orange shirt. I thought he was a deer.

Giulia: But…I love Plaid Man.

Chris: Yep, so did everyone else. It’s a shame when characters do crazy shit behind your back.

Giulia: Fine. You don’t have to tell us what happened with Axel and Belinda.

Chris leans back in his chair, his eyes just barely shining out from under his cowboy hat.

Giulia: I’ll find out for his series.

Chris: I’d like to see you pull that information from a Navy SEAL.

Giulia: I won’t have to. Whoever he falls for will do that for me.

Chris growls slightly, then gets up and storms away. Meanwhile, I fan myself to cool down from the hot man that just glared daggers at me.

Lola

Lola: Alright, let’s get this over with.

Giulia: Do you have someplace to be?

Lola: Yeah, I have a Quidditch tournament to get to.

Giulia: With your kids?

Lola: You would think, but no. I talked some of the guys into a rematch.

Giulia: I thought they hated Quidditch.

Lola: They also hate waxing, but look at how many of them are doing that on a regular basis now.

Giulia: I guess you’re right.

Lola: I usually am.

Giulia: So, tell me how things are going with Ryan.

Lola: Is that what this is?