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DIFFIDENT
Hesitant in acting:
Reserved ,shy

Have you ever did anything that is out of the ordinary for you and your life style? How many times have you wanted to do something that no one else has ever tried to do or even tried to muster up to have the nerve to do? Well we all know that we have all done things that we did or wish we have not done until it is to late. I have done a lot of things that I can say that I have not been proud of, but at the same time I have done these things and really enjoyed them. Well just to give you a little of what I am talking about is that my alter ego wants me to be something that I am not but at the same time I want to be this alter person, but I am not shy in a sense about doing it or acting it. Now that word acting is to be used loosely so that I can tell you what I am really trying to explain to you. I have been in a state of mind that I have been used to the point to be something that I wish I would be if you know what I mean. Now for those that do not know what I am talking about I’ll try to let you know that first off is that I have been on the DL for quite some time now. Now if you do not know what that means that is the acronym for being on the (DOWN LOW) meaning that you are gay and you enjoy being with men and maybe women at the same time. You see when you come out of the closet you can not be shy and afraid of what you have become and what you want to be and what you want to accomplish. I have been in this state a many of times and I must tell you that I wish so fucking bad that I can have what I want. But it seems that I can’t have it and I do not know why that I can’t have it when I have made it clear to the Man up above that this is what I want and what I want to be. I guess that you are now trying to figure out why I am in this state of mind that I have been. I have been in a lot of relationships that have left me scared and wanting to act out of character. Now we all know some women and even men can take you out of character and really piss you the fuck off. But that is neither here or there. But I’m going to give you three points and we are going to be out of here, so don’t forget to get your shout queue. First, do not ever be afraid of what you wanna be and what you wanna do. Second, be the best that you can be, even if it means that you are going out to be something that is not what others would think of you to become. And then thirdly, walk proud and with your head up high and mighty. You would never know how others would look at you even those that will try to judge you. You have to know that they will judge you the same way that they did Christ and how they too crucified Him. That is all what this is all about is trying to bring you down and keep you on the bottom. It is just like that all tale of the crabs in the bucket when one tries to get out, there is one trying to grab you and bring you back down to their level. So don’t stoop to no ones level. Just be who you want to be and be the damn best of who you choose to be. There is nothing that they can take away from you that is not already taken by God. So walk proud and be perfect in who you choose to be.


LOVE, PEACE, AND POWER
SMOOVEB……

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Publication Date: 06-07-2010

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