Moving On From Mourning, Frances Ayers [manga ebook reader TXT] 📗

I wrote these poems after my 40 year old brother Patrick commited suicide.They describe an emotional journey from the time I first learned about his death until recently.My brother and I were very close.He was my best friend and a wonderful person.He was a family man who worked hard and was loyal to his friends and everyone he came into contact with.He was intelligent,sensitive,funny and ambitious.He loved football,taking rides on his atv,cooking and painting.He was a gifted artist and thankfully,left some of his artwork behind.He was someone who was always there for me regardless of the circumstances.He will be missed forever,but I learned that grief turns into an enduring love and fond remembrance.


Why

Empty dark eyes
Staring into space
Feeling devoid of purpose,
Have you embraced the grave?
Are you ready to leave behind ,
All that you love?
To give up your soul
For an unknown place
Without thought of the cost,
To those left behind.
Who will pick up the pieces
Of a shattered life?
Is one fateful moment worth
All the pain?
You have passed on to the living,
On one fateful day.


Going Through The Motions

Going through the motions,
Pretending to go on with life,
But I can no longer behold your face,
Or hear your voice.
Death is like that.
It erases the ordinary,
Everyday routines.
Seperation is hard,
But death takes away,
Any notion of a shared life.
We move but feel,
Dull chronic pain,
Which we struggle with,
Sometimes wearing us down,
Making us feel helpless.
Loss is like that.

Early Mourning

Walking as If in a dream,
During those early months.
Wrestling with regret
And things left unsaid.
Crying in public
And feeling the pain,
Of a life never finished,
Incomplete and unseen.
Fighting the shock,
Of a decision so cruel.
Coming to grips ,
With the shattering of a dream.
Waking up empty
And hearing my screams.
Going through life
One day at a time.
Picking up pieces ,
Of a broken life.
Getting through holidays,
And all of the strife.
Remembering your life,
And saying goodbye.

Too Many Tears

I cried so many times since the day you died.
Scars were slow to heal,they couldn’t be denied.
I thought I knew you brother,
You seemed so full of life.
Your days appeared so busy,
Yet always full of strife.
You left without a word
Not even a goodbye.
You left an empty hole
Gaping deep inside.

On Sorrows Wings

While living life,I was brushed by sorrows’wings.
I felt the touch upon my soul.
Wings fluttering nearby,I did take hold.
Taking me forward through life in its’ own time.
I felt lost and alone in my tears.
But discovered my strength in each passing year.
I built a new life without forgetting the past.
And forged new friendships,I felt would last
I threw out resentments and got rid of harsh thoughts
I buried the baggage and Gods comfort I sought


From Sorrow to Acceptance

On sorrows'wings I journeyed to a land where I had never been.
Each loss was undiscovered country,landscapes I had never seen,mountains I had never climbed.

I had taken a journey past familiar landmarks I missed, and memories that were past.I had buried the familiar stories and neglected the happiness,which lay buried deep beneath the earth,only now and then pushing to the surface.

I drank from bitter springs and sat among the weeds,neglecting to seperate them from the flowers.
Beheld only the sunsetting but forgot the beauty in each new day.

When I had shed enough tears,I remembered the laughter echoing in the valley and heard the birds chirping a new song.

I saw the sun reflecting on the water.
and instead of weeds,I saw flowers. Where there were empty patches of dirt,I saw seedlings and the possibility of new beginnings.

Going On

After years of mourning,
I’ve put aside my fears.
A new day is dawning,
I’ve wiped away my tears.

There is no time for sorrow,
For now I’ll find a way.
I look forward to tomorrow,
And each and every day.

With love,I’ll build a life,
Remembering you all the while,
Putting away all strife,
I’ll walk the extra mile.

As years go by,I’ll think of you,
And all the time I’ll smile.
Remembering funny things you’d do,
Laughing all the while.

Peace In My Heart

Almost five years later,
I think of you often,
Though tears rarely flow.
Your spirit is present in so many ways,
Giving me comfort.
Memories linger of a happier time.
Remembering your smile
And your warm brown eyes.
Now I can draw on,
Your comforting words,
And gain from your wisdom,
In challenging times.
I smile a lot now,
When I think of your life.
For you have blessed me,
Through the tears
With great memories
Of a happier time.

Our Trials Have Endings

Our trials have endings,
The road is not long.
We follow the landmarks
And finish the song

We meet all our problems with steely resolve
As hope gives us strength to finish the job.
Our trials have endings,
We’re never alone.
For there is a force greater than man,
Who is patient and loving and gives us his hand
Who helps us climb mountains and make a new start.
And dries up our tears and opens our heart.

Unseen Presence

When life becomes hurried and choices are unclear,
there is an unseen Presence who will surely get us there.

We may not reach our destiny,at our chosen time
but there is someone wiser whose help we’ll always find.

He’ll give us hope to find our path,a light to guide the way.
His Strength will pull us up the hill and help us see the day.

He knows the road is rough,he’s been there long before.
At Calvary he gave his life and opened up the door.

Moving On From Mourning

Why pine for those who have gone to their rest.
They have put away their mortal toil and fears.
In all things of this world,our God Knows best,
for he will soothe our heart and dry our tears.
On another plane we will find what we’ve lost,
for our mortal life is slipping away.
At times giving little thought to the cost,
for worry and sorrow will waste the day.
But sadness must end,as our days go by,
leaving little time to dwell on the past.
We remove any pain.only after we cry,
as our memories give us hope to last.
After a life well lived, we meet our fate
We meet our loved ones at the pearly gates..

Publication Date: 06-25-2009

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To My brother Patrick, and to all those that have surived the sudden death of a loved one.