Way Home!, Kalai Selvi Arivalagan [free ebook reader for iphone .TXT] 📗

On our way home

He stood there with an elegant smile

My daughter chirped happily

"We have come".

Facing east, he stood there.

A Landmark - ensuring peace and happiness.

Seconds away it happened...

Shattered he was strewn around

The strewn petals spreading fragrance

a fragrance of non-violence in guise !!

Limp thoughts gallop ahead

With strain I pull the rein !

"Oh !" She reflects softly.

"Can we now find our way home?"

 1)

I really enjoyed the subject matter of this poem. Where was this statue of Gandhi?! I really like the depth of the symbolism that resides within such a powerful statue being broken and lying in pieces. Perhaps its a statement on societies ability to forget to easily. Anyhow down to the nitty gritty, perhaps a more solid rhyme scheme would add to this piece? The rhyme at the end is somewhat distracting without more preceding it in my opinion. But overall really nice poem. I look forward to reading more of your writing!

Sincerely, your fellow ink jokey.. Bjorn E. R. Olson

I am reviewing this for: Anniversary Reviews. A good style with a nice tone and details that are easy to follow. Good imagery and nice reflections. We sometimes depend on a landmark to remember how to get to a certain place. When it is removed, we are lost. Creative and nicely presented. Always: Megan

2)

This is a powerful thought -- the symbol of peace and non-violence shattered so violently, and yet the broken pieces still trying to emit peace. It can be seen as a metaphor for the state of the country (and indeed the world) today. What was fought for and won, being squandered away.

I did have one question.
If the statue was shattered before your eyes, I got curious about how it happened. Maybe hint on that? It would be different if you saw it whole one time and shattered another time, then you wouldn't know either what happened. But it seems to have happened while you were there, so as a reader I wondered how.

Punctuation in poetry is a personal thing -- so I'm not commenting on what I would've changed about some of that if it had been me. The only thing I'd like to point out is the extra space between the word 'rein' and the exclamation mark.

About the genres -- you've picked 'reviewing' as the first genre -- maybe you'd like to look at that again.

Thanks for sharing this poem.
The strong picturisation, the connection to a child and the metaphorical quality make it thought provoking.
Write On!
- Sonali.

Publication Date: 04-15-2015

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Dedication:
Mahatma Gandhi