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1

“Honey, get up.” I feel my mom shake my shoulder. “ You have to get ready, they will be here in two hours.” I  groan and pull the covers all the way over my head. I hear her shut the door.

 

As in they, she meant the boy I have to meet. And his family. Since I’m going to be 16 in 6 months. And have a duty to fill. I hate it, I was only 5 when it happened. Why is it my duty to help replenish the earth? I pull the sheet down and look at the blue cracked paint of my ceiling.Letting out a sigh I climb out of bed and look at the golden floating to the earth. And the squirrels racing to prepare for the long winter ahead. They are in a rush and enthusiastic. To bad I don’t feel the same way.

 

The leaves are singing a happy tone as they change into the most beautiful colors. Gold, red, orange and brown. So vibrant. So peaceful. I want to be one of those leaves floating to the ground.

 

“Rose!” my mom yells down the long hall. I slip on one of the many dresses that my mom is making me wear. It’s peach and if flowy, I reaches my knees. I go to the mirror and brush out my long brown wavy hair that reaches to my mid back. I look at myself, from my bright green eyes to my smooth tan skin.I always get told that I’m pretty. I hate it, they should stop lying to me. I hate my nose and long arms and legs.  

 

I walk back into my room, and see it’s 11:30. Half an hour until I meet them. One of the very many people that my parents arranged for me to meet. There are dozens and I’m not going to fall for a single one of them. Ever, I plan to not get married. And if I turn them all away, they will stop trying, hopefully. There is knock at the door.

 

“Rose?  They will be here in 10 minutes. Are you ready?” she says as she comes in.

“No.” I mutter as she looks me over.

 

“Oh, rose, you look amazing!” She squeals and runs to hug me. It’s hard to believe she’s 45 years old, she acts like she’s 16.   

 

“Come, they will be here soon.” She takes my hand. “You have nothing to worry about, he’s a nice boy” She smiles at me.

 

“You do realize that I have never talked to a boy right?”

 

“ That’s okay. You will do fine.”

 

Yeah, right. My mom has kept me holed up in my house for the last 11 years. After the bombing. The only reason we lived is because we were in a subway.  And in that time the only guys I saw were the ones in books.But I hate them already. They are probably ugly and rude and crude and stinky. I have thought of all the things they are for the last couple years and good in not one of them.

 

“Stop day dreaming, they are almost here.” She pulls me into the large ball room.

 

Did I mention that we have a jumbo house? If not, our house is huge. There is an upstairs that has 10 rooms and a downstairs that has a huge ball room, living room and kitchen. We have 900 acres and a stable. I have a black stallion with a star on it’s head, so her name is star. She is very strong and big. I captured her when she had a sore leg. I kept her and we bonded. I hear a car pull up.

 

Knock, knock

 

My mom rushes to open the door. I hear a few murmurs and a very hot guy walks through the door. He has blond hair and dull blue eyes.  Pale skin and strong jaw. My heart picks up speed as he steps forward his eyes poring over me like hot lava. Causing my cheeks to heat up and turn my head. His eyes meet mine as he smiles. I smile to as he steps forward again, taking my hand he smiles again.

 

“Hi, I’m Matt and it is so nice to meet you.” He leans down placing a delicate kiss on my hand, sending chills all the way up my arm.

 

“H-Hi, I’m rose.” I stutter! What? I have never done that in my life. Ever!  He smiles again. He gently lets go of my hand as my mom leads us to the dining room.

 

As we sit at the table, Macy and Gloria place dishes on the table. Macy and Gloria are our maids and my only friends. As they bring more I realize we are going to have a feist. Matt sits across from me and gives me smile. As we eat Matt’s family asks me all kinds of questions. Matt is making me so unsettled I can hardly eat. The butterflies in my stomach are ready to burst.  

 

The way he looks at me makes me cold and uncomfortable, almost as if he needs to study and learn everything he can. When we are done we move into the living room to talk more. I take a seat and Matt sits across from me. My mom talks to them forever. Almost like she’s never going to stop. About everything. Even the weather. I try to focus on them and chime in when needed. Mostly because I want to make sure they don’t say anything about me. And also because Matt won’t stop looking at me. I hate it.

 

It goes on forever and I start to get used to Matt's eyes as they continue to seek mine. My mother suddenly looks at me.

 

“Rose, why don’t you show Matt around a little.” I look at my mom. It was not a question it was a command. If I didn’t know better I would think she just wants to get rid of us. Nope, they won’t talk about me when I’m not here. She narrows her eyes as if reading my mind. I get up and look over my shoulder to make sure Matt’s coming along.

I walk to the front door, put my jacket on and goes outside. No longer caring if creep follows or not. I walk to the stables. Which is very large. Other then Star I have, Dora, Mickey and Memo, my goats. I get yummy milk from them every day. At first my mom hated them, but then she had there milk. I saved them from a storm and they never left.

 

“Is this your horse?” Matt asks snapping me out of my trance. He’s looking at Star.

 

“Yeah.” I say simply staying where I am, I want to go to her but he’s in the way. She is getting a little flustered. She doesn’t like him either.

 

He reaches out his hand to her, she backs up a little. He turned back to me.

 

“She is a beauty. Where did you get her?” He gives me a smile.

 

“I found her in the woods.” That’s all he needs to know. His eyebrows knit together.

 

“Really? She is a monster.” He looks back to the horse. 

 

“Yup” I walk further into the stable to my goats. We would have gotten another barn for them, but I don’t think I’m going to get any more horses I’m okay with Star.

 

“I love goats. Do you?” He says coming up behind me.

 

“Obviously! Why else would I have them?.” He smiles at me as I anwser.

 

“Well I certainly know a lot about you now. And I like what I know.”  He takes a step forward.  “ I also like what I see.” He smiles as he puts a hands on my hips sending shivers everywhere, leaning down to my ear. “ I think I want to know you a little better. He moves his head towards my lips.

 

“No!” I back up and run to the house. Up the stairs and to my room. Before I shut the door I hear my mom go into the ballroom.

 

Why am I acting like this? Why do I feel the way I do? Why do I feel bad?

2

 I wake to the sound of birds and beautiful rays of sunlight streaming through the windows. I lay in bed, what I often do. What happened last night, was it a bream? My dress on the floor told me no. Did he leave?  Please tell me he did.

 

My mom walks into the room and I immediately shut my eyes. She sits on the end of the bed.

 

“I know you're awake.” She says after a couple minutes. “You hide under the covers usually and you look more peaceful to.” I sigh and open my eyes.

 

“You know me too well.” I look in her eyes and instantly knew there was something wrong. I hide under the covers when I see that look in her eyes.

 

“Rose……” She sighs and pulls the covers to my chin. "You can’t hide from my and you know it.” I look away because I did know it, I’ve tried it before. I let out a breath, shut my eyes and get ready for her speech.

 

“Next time tell me.” She sounds sad. My eyes snap open and almost fall out of my shocked face.

“What?” I look at her in disbelief.

  

“Rose, I understand. I was in the same spot.”

 

“You were?” She smiles

 

“Yeah, my parents wanted me to marry young and I hated most the guys that came.”  

 

“Oh?” For the first time in my life I was speechless.

 

“But do it right next time, don’t just run away.”  She looks at me seriously.

 

“Sorry, what do I do then?” I did want to know because then I just turn them down fast.

 

“You tell me and then I will act appropriately.”

 

“And what if it is a need to get out of there fast moment.” I raise my eyebrow.

 

“You tell him that you're sorry and he will understand. He seemed nice though. Why did you run?”

 

“Reasons” I say quickly as I hide again. There is no way I’m going to tell her.

 

“Okay” she huffs and then leaves. Once she’s gone I get dressed and follow the smell of bacon. I go down the stairs and go into the kitchen and see Macy and Gloria eating at the counter. When they see me they start to move.

 

“No, it’s ok.” I smile at them and they look at each other not sure what to do.

 

“Hey take a seat with me.” I sit at table.

 

They move next to me and do the same.

 

I eat and head to the stables. I need a good ride to get my mind off of everything. And I’m guessing that  she is still upset from last night. I am, my skin is still crawling from where he touched me.

 

“Hi, Star.” She whines at me. “ I know, I’m really sorry. It was mean of me to run from you like that but I didn’t want to be like that. Do you forgive me?” I look at her eyes. As if understanding what I said she moves forward and rubs her nose on my chest and licks me

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