Cliche, ninja jinx [read aloud TXT] 📗

million years where I ended up with a beard and a white fat cat on my lap, before her voice mail came on.

 

“If I don’t know you piss of and go die. If I do know you, leave a message” her high scratchy voice rung out. Damn girl!

I stumbled outside and looked around, the whipped cream and deflated boob (she popped it when she hit me) hanging on my clothes. I glanced through the broken window and caught a glimpse of myself. I looked like the girl from the ring except way scarier; I think I even heard a dog whimper….

 

Running down the path with my hands raised above my head and my legs flying everywhere I sprinted towards my truck. I was reluctant to get in so I decided to place a plastic bag that I found on the seat. Sue me, I’m cheap.

 

The leather was squeaking and I could feel the food seeping into my underwear. I also felt something poking my boob so I reached within and voila I found a cookie. Wow, talk about awkward especially since the old hag from next door was eyeing me strangely as she over flowed the water beds with her little metal can. I would have laughed, but once again it wasn’t funny because I was the one suffering through the embarrassment. I could feel my cheeks on fire as I stepped on the pedal and gunned out of there.

 

Sarah was my first priority and I began imagining her lying on the cold street as people mobbed her, or worse she was watching play school while being forced to eat broccoli! Oh the horrors!

 

I had been driving for what could only be minutes but felt like hours before I pulled up to MacDonald’s drive through. Trust me I was hungry from the hours (minutes) of searching and since I hadn’t gotten to eat lunch.

The lady at the window when I pulled up was half way in between shock and horror. She looked like pee was running down her pants when she saw me as her face turned downwards. “Turn that frown upside down” I said brightly as she handed me the paper bag filled with a little or in this case a lot of food, with three double cheese burgers, 2 happy meals (I liked the toys), a sundae and a huge cup of coke. Hmm the best.

 

She kept giving me the look that said ‘she’s such a fatso, bitch eats a lot’. I raised my eyebrows in the air and gave her annoyed look. As I snatched the bags from her thin ugly bonny hands I revved the engine and flew the bird and threw my sundae in her face. I took great happiness when she shot me a surprised look as the white goo dripped down her face, hopefully into her bra. No one messes with a stressed out nerd.

 

Ok, maybe I took it too far….

 

Because the next thing I knew some guy with a bulging stomach and grisly beard was chasing me, holding up a hamburger and having the golden sticker saying ‘manager’ stuck on his man boob. Guess I won’t go there again….

Chapter 12: Getting told off...

You wouldn’t believe my utter surprise when I sauntered onto the front porch of Sarah’s house only to see her mother waiting for me in her pristine suite.

“Ah hi Mrs Tucker” I stuttered out like a idiotic fool as her eyes swept over my deranged image. “I have something to tell you” My voice drifted of and silence was what coated the front yard with the distant roar of and engine.

“Sarah she’s—“

“Pregnant?” she answered in her clipped voice and my jaw just dropped and fell to the floor as my eyes widened. “I know and I’ve been expecting you.” Creepy…

“Come inside, we’ll talk over coffee”.

I nodded meekly as I scurried after her long strides past the door and into Sarah’s house, the inside appearing like mine. I mean they even had the same coloured walls and everything.

I huddled into the living room and sat down on the worn sofa as Mrs Tucker laid out a tray of biscuits, the thing she did before you had a deep and meaningful conversation.

“Tell me” she said as she stirred her metal spoon in her Coffee and took a sip, “when did you find out?”

I swallowed like a lump or a rock had been forced down my throat as my eyes widened in fear. Keep calm I kept repeating in my head as I sipped the hot beverage in an attempt to push back this conversation.

I sighed as the ticking of the clock rang around the house and placed the coffee cup down on the table. “She came to me for help. I mean at first I didn’t want too but then she was really persistent and—“

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked calmly while cutting me off with her sharp and accusing eyes. “I thought you were the more mature teenager”. I was I wanted to retort, however Sarah was bringing this outrageous side of me out.

“Sorry Mrs Tucker but—“

Once again she raised her hand in a silencing motion which was personally starting to piss me off. “This is the fault of your parents leaving you to go on that trip. I mean what were they thinking leaving a child alone. Such pathetic people really. And your brother, wow, failure doesn’t even describe it, he’s just like Sarah—“

Ok, no one messes with my family I fumed as my hands slammed down on the oak table and something in me snapped.

“Mrs Tucker, my family is the bloody best family in the world and it pisses me off when you talk of them like that. In fact you’re the failure. Sarah is your responsibility not mines, so you’ve failed as a parent to not notice this. She’s your daughter and thus you’ve failed in life. So my parents are the best, because I’ve come out in every test as the top, not you or your daughter.”

I’ve wanted to do that to Mrs Tucker forever as she’d always been ranting about this and that. I mean accept it this is life.

“Good day” I said as I picked myself up and walked out of there with pride puffing my chest until she stopped me.

“Please, I’m sorry and I might have been a little out of line…” I nodded my head and was prepared to forgive her when she continued.

“But it’s true, everything I said and you have to accept it. So now go find Sarah because I have to go to work and—“

“You go find her” I said as I brushed past her so she fell back slightly in her forty foot heels.

“But Winter” she whined and I glared at her as I swung the door open and stormed out like a rapid beast.

Chapter 13: We meet again part 1

Ok, even though I had stormed out and left with this huge bang, I was still really worried. Because the truth was Miss Tucker would never look for her daughter and would probably leave to catch some booze after she finished work. But that was just her personality and I as I paced the street, mind you still in my clothes, I couldn’t help but feel hopeless.

“Hey” a voice called and my head snapped up only to catch sight of Hunter and my face went red as I remembered our last encounter.

“Oh hey?” I called out before stopping and realizing the state I must appear in. Well there goes my chance of ever being asked out, not that I wanted too of course.

“Why do I always find you in these situations?” he asked as he jogged up to me in his clinging top and basketball shorts. Damn who turned up the heat?

“Well” I said in a shaky voice, my brain trying to come up with a witty comeback only to remember Sarah and the way she may be dying pregnant in a ditch. “Well...Oh God I’ve lost her!” I cried as my hands flew up and I admitted it to myself. I mean if I had never taken my eyes from her then maybe she would still be up in her room or we would still be watching a movie, because in these past few days I’ve come to deeply care for her.

“Lost who?” he asked seeing the panic on my face and grabbing my shoulders, the cream smearing on the palm of his hand.

“Sarah, who else?!”

He gave me a confused stare and I nodded in understanding after a moment because technically he was a stranger, a hot one, but one none the less. “Right you’ve never met my pregnant ex-best friend who back stabbed me and left me. The one who later came for my help because she got banged up by the principle and…you know what can you just help me?” I pleaded.

There was this moment of silence as we both stared at each other before he sighed and nodded as if I were the GREATER problem, which I wasn't.

“What’s with the sigh mister” I sassed out as I put my hands on my hips and glared up at him. He looked at me innocently and shook his head, “I think we have more pressing matters right?”

Damn he was correct and quickly I turned around and began to walk, trying to escape, becasue in these situations it was better to walk away. “Do you even have a game plan?” he asked as he tailed me like the stalker he was, I mean forget that I ever asked him for help.

“Game plan?” I asked, “What you think this is a game?”

I looked behind me to see Hunter giving me strange look as whipped cream squished in my shoes. “Stalker” I muttered.

 I heard him snort and this angered me beyond words. “Just a moment ago you were begging me for help Frills” he stated and I gasped at his nickname.

“Frills?” I asked in horror. “What, you in grade school?”

“Ha, says the girl that lets her dad buy her underwear. What? Does he also buy your clothes?”

“NO!” I hissed but the truth was he did, as embarrassing as that was. “Let’s just find Sarah”

“Gladly”

Now I would like to say that I had a tracking device inserted into Sarah’s brain so I would always know where she was, but I didn’t so Hunter and I just had to stick with asking random people about her, even if they did give me strange looks. So when night was falling and we