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return. He couldn’t understand why Jose couldn’t admit to what Ben had done but maybe it was really for the best. He felt very foolish indeed, José was right; people would be lost without him!

Wiping his eyes Ben pulled himself to his feet wiped his eyes and smiled kindly at José. He always knew his best friend would be there for him in his time of need, and he was right. With a grimace he pulled the remaining part of the rope over his neck, dropping it onto the floor. He looked at it with amazement, amazement at what he had been willing to do just minutes ago. He couldn’t believe one irrational and thoughtless moment could’ve ruined everything. Sighing he turned away.
“So what was the dream about eh?” Ben laughed.
“If I told you I would have to kill you…”
“Maybe another night then.” Ben said lightly.
A smile crossed Jose’s face and he gave Ben a sharp pat on the back. The pair started to walk on, neither of them taking a look back. After all the past is the past.

18. Love Comes Knocking

The next morning Ben woke from a dreamless sleep with a start. For a few seconds his mind lay strangely empty, like someone had sucked every thought and emotion out during the night. Squeezing his eyes shut he rubbed at his temples with his fingers, prodding his head as if trying to get answers.

Slowly but surely his memory slipped into place like pieces in a puzzle. It all started with Lola saying she wanted to go out with him but he knew it was out of pity and he couldn’t let her go through with that. The image of those last heady, fearful moments as he sat in the high branches of the tree swamped him, filled him with disdain. He had been so scared but so ready, ready to end the torment. But the rope had broken and surely that must have meant something. Even old rope doesn’t break if it’s sturdy right?

A loud knocking turned his attention to the door, he wasn’t even dressed; surely they’d come back later? Sighing he sank back onto the pillows, eager to sleep, get rid of all his woes. As he closed his eyes another round of knocking came from the door, he opened one eye then closed it again. After three blissful seconds a mighty chorus of knocks came from the door, they weren’t going to give up till he’d gotten his lard arse out of bed. With a lot of effort he sat up, pulled the covers off and started towards the door.

Wearing only his old, baggy boxer shorts he pulled open the door, yawning as he did so. Stood in front of him was a large cardboard cut out, very much like the one he remembered knocking over at the gym. Unless the cardboard lady had really grown a mind of its own and walked over to demand a reprieve for being knocked over he couldn’t quite understand how it had managed to get here. He looked around the figure, trying to see if anyone was hiding behind it, only to find the hallway was deserted. A cold shiver engulfed his body as it’s reacted to the sudden fear he felt.

Was some one trying to play a trick on him and if so who? Why? Shaking his head he pushed the figure over and went back inside. He had barely sat down on the bed when the knocking came again, quietly at first before becoming incessantly louder. Groaning he stormed up to the door, flinging it open and coming face to face with the cardboard cut out standing back in its original position.
“For pities sake!” he shouted shoving the cutout over.
“Oww careful!” a girls voice said.
The voice was strangely familiar, and it was with a quick realisation that the penny dropped.
“I should’ve known that cut out could only come from you!”
She smiled, her eyes lighting up in a grin that could warm a whole room.
“I kind of hoped you would, you seem kind of angry!” she said lightly.

He looked at her properly for the first time in a couple of days, drinking in her features, her incredible beauty. Every time he looked at her he fell in love.
“Why are you here? After what I said to you yesterday I thought you’d never want to see me again!” Ben whispered, staring down at the floor.
“Look at me…” she said quietly.
“I can’t. I don’t want you to pity me, I know that’s why you said what you did yesterday.”
She shook her head angrily. He didn’t understand, he could never understand!
“No, that isn’t the reason. Look at me for gods sake!” her voice rose in tone, more urgent then before.

Still he gaze remained on the dark pink fuchsia carpet. His gaze was so intent it seemed like his eyes were boring in on the particles, clearing enough to spot a tiny spot of fluff. If he looked at her he’d never be able to look away.
“LOOK AT ME GOD DAMN IT!” she shouted, her hand forcing his chin up so he couldn’t look away.

Her eyes were watery, an emotion of pure agony alive in them. He couldn’t stand to see her look so hurt. Their eyes locked, a feeling of mutual understanding falling over them like a cloud of dust. Leaning forward she kissed him on the lips, lightly at first, then more passionately. Her kiss was such a shock for a moment he was frozen, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. Then like a spell was broken he fell into the kiss, his lips responding to hers, eager to realise how it felt to kiss the girl he loved so much. Pulling away Ben put his hands gently on her shoulders, looked tenderly into her eyes and gave her a soft kiss on the nose.
“So what does this mean?”
“This means you’re taking me out for some brunch. Grab your coat!” she laughed.
A coy grin on her face she stepped past him into his flat, parking herself on one of his cream sofas. Now she really was home.


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Publication Date: 03-20-2010

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