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under the strain, Ben could feel his body aching for breath but knew he had to wait till the man had gone. Unknown to Ben the man had fled up the stairs searching Ben’s flat for his prey, finding nothing however he raced back to the backroom knocking over chairs and looking in cupboards in his destructive search of Ben’s belongings. Scratching his forehead the man stared angrily around the room, his eyes exploring and uncovering any possible hideout this Ben could stash himself in. From what he’d heard though he’d have a lot of trouble doing just that, most hiding places, they just weren’t big enough.

His mouth set in a cruel jeer the man spied the one place he hadn’t looked in the first place… under the table…it was so obvious yet it had passed him by. Tiptoeing he edged closer to the edge of the table, his hand outstretched ready to pull the tablecloth from shielding his foe. Underneath the table Ben heard the slight creaking of floorboards under somebody’s weight, saw the pair of ruffled jeans standing like thick posts just inches away. His breath stuck in his throat Ben felt his heart hammering in his chest as a finger reached for the underside of the cloth. As Ben waited to heed his fate the sound of what appeared to be a wounded cat entered his hearing range.
“Now get the hell out of here!” José yelled.
The abandonment and isolation Ben had felt when the man had entered the backroom unobstructed fell away. Jose hadn’t deserted him after all!
Peeking gingerly from under the table Ben saw Jose accompanied by two tall, well-built men.
“Sorry Ben I had to get back up, that man was a loose cannon!! I don’t know who he was but he was really on to you, have you upset anyone lately?” José asked gently.
Ben stared at José his face confused. Recalling over the last couple of weeks Ben couldn’t interpret a single time where he’d upset somebody so much that they felt they had to hound him down in such a rash, angry manner – avenge him for the wrong doings that Ben was unaware he’d even committed.
“I don’t think so…oh hang on a minute there was the bowling alley attendant, he thinks I nicked his bowling ball on purpose…he probably came here to teach me a lesson.” Ben said slowly.
Jose gazed curiously at Ben.
“Well that bowling ball must’ve meant a awful lot to him for him to waste his time tracking you down and then invading this place to hound you out.” Jose muttered.
Ben shrugged.
“Guess he doesn’t have much of a social life hey.”
Jose laughed; it was always in Ben’s character to make a joke out of a hairy situation, even if things were more complicated then they seemed. Smiling gaily Ben knelt down; slowly picking up the pieces of the backroom that were obstructed when the whirlwind of destruction momentarily flew through it.
“Lets just hope your lifetime of crime is over in that case Ben.” Jose muttered softly under his breath.

The next afternoon business was pretty quiet. As Ben polished the surfaces of the counter till they sparkled he was alerted by the rushed entry of a man entering the café. The man who stood around 6ft tall had messy, gelled brown hair, deep blue eyes and a hard sneer on his unfriendly face.
“Are you Ben?” the man roared.
Ben felt something inside him stir. Unaware of why he felt Goosebumps sprouting on his arms, an unavoidable chill whispering along his spine.
“Well?” he repeated.
Ben stood motionless for a second, who was this guy, why did he have such a weird affect on him? Frightened by the affect this man had on him Ben felt his hand silently slip under the counter, his fingers gently gripping the blade of a chopping knife.
“Yes… I’m Ben… who are you.” He said slowly.
The mystery of the unnamed man continued as he slowly nodded his head, his mask of anger slipping slightly.
“I’ve got someone for you to meet. Wait here.”
Curious Ben agreed. As the seconds dragged by Ben’s fear intensified… what was it this man had to show him? He felt the skin on his palm graze as the cuts of the knife dug into it.

Staring straight at the door Ben saw the man enter again followed by Francesca and a child. He felt his knees buckle, and the knife slipped instantly from his palm to the floor. As his eyes clouded over an image of a photo falling at his feet engulfed his mind, the ecstasy of this couple…such joy produced by the birth of a child… their child. A child that was standing a mere ten feet in front of him. A child produced by Francesca and her lover. She had lied to him and he’d been a fool once again.

What she did hurt more then any of the shenanigans caused by the other girls in his past, they’d never lied to him, not in the way she had. How could anyone do that? Deny the existence of their own child and their lover? Angry tears brimmed Ben’s eyes, his face becoming both sorrowful and lost as he stared at the girl he thought he knew. But the truth was he didn’t know her, didn’t know her at all.
“I’m sorry.” Francesca said meekly.
“Sorry? Is that all you can say?”
She bit her lip, her eyes avoiding Ben’s. It was the same indecisive expression she’d had the day he’d asked her out.
“I just wanted to see what it was like to be single again for once… I’m sorry Ben I just got so caught up in all the lies I denied my family even existed… I almost started to believe it myself.”
Disgusted Ben shook his head. Those words destroyed him more then her betrayal ever would. The denial of a family, a family he would die to have, what sort of person could even think of doing such a thing?
“I don’t know how you live with yourself Francesca. Most of all I don’t know how you could have done this to me, said those words when you KNEW how badly I wanted a family, what I’d do to have one. GET OUT.”
Without a word she slipped out of the café followed by her child and lover. Bending down to pick up the dropped knife Ben breathed a sigh of irritation.
“Didn’t even spend a penny. Bloody typical.”
The few customers that had witnessed the incident smiled with relief. He hadn’t lost his sense of humour after all.


10. Keeping it together

A fleeted glance out of the corner of his eye brought a dismal, pitched darkness, one lacking the illumination of a friendly moon – pretty stars. Diverting his gaze to his watch Ben saw the time, almost 11pm, practically closing time. He couldn’t stop though, he needed to keep working up a sweat, lose all the disgusting stones of fat clinging onto his meaty frame. If that’s what it took to get a girl it was the only way, no matter how tired and dehydrated he felt; he had to deny himself the luxuries of life if he ever wanted to find love.
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Making the last, customary checks of the night Lola walked around the gym making sure there wasn’t any late night enthusiasts lurking away in a cupboard somewhere. Walking wearily into the darkened gym she was surprised to hear the frenzied pace of a machine working in the corner. Her eyes allured by the noise followed it through the sea of desertion to a large figure slumped over one of the bicycle machines. She recognised it immediately as Ben, after all who would be able to forget his accident-prone persona.
“Hey Ben it’s lights out time. Better get your stuff and get on your way yeah?” Lola called out.
In response to Lola Ben’s hands grasped the handles of the bike firmer, his feet pounding away at the pedals. Didn’t she see? He needed to lose this weight; he didn’t need people like her demanding he get on his way.
“Didn’t you hear me?? I said its lights out time!” Lola repeated; her voice slightly irritated.
Ben gritted his teeth in determination, inside his mind he felt the same words revolving repeatedly round and round like a corkscrew, pounding at his temples, clawing at his sanity. Fat, fat, fat, again and again, it was all he heard. So many paths he could’ve walked down but they were all blocked, blocked by a disgusting, blubber ridden river of fatness. Only he could change that, and getting fit was the only way. Infuriated by his rudeness Lola stormed over to Ben, her mind intent on planting a ban on him for refusing to vacate the premises when asked.
“She said I’d have a family one day you know…people who loved me.” Ben said suddenly.
She stopped in her tracks. Suddenly exhausted from hours of non-stop exercising Ben stopped, climbed off the bike and with shaky steps fell to the floor.

Lola glanced down at him, aghast to see such a chirpy fellow look so crestfallen and lost, his face dripping with sweat looked hot and contorted with strain. Emerald green eyes stared up at her, full of an emotion she couldn’t recognise – pain, hurt – desolation? Maybe it was all three.
“Who said that?” she asked gently.
“Francesca… this girl I knew, I thought she liked me, wanted me. But the whole time she had a family of her own, was just using me, to see what it was like to be single again she said. Typical hey, a scapegoat as usual, that’s all I’m really useful for.”
“Hey don’t say that.” Lola said.
Ben rolled his eyes, a smirk in the shape of a lopsided grin falling on his lips.
“Why not? It’s what I am, all girls think so anyway. Because I look this way they never see inside, to see the person I am.”
Unconsciously her eyes fell from his gaze; trailed over the circumference of his face, fell on his lips.
“What’s wrong with you?”
The smirk dissolved into a sarcastic sneer, his eyebrows raised in scorn.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know just to spare my feelings, I’m sure a girl like you sees it just as much as every other girl.”
“No… enlighten me?”
“I’m fat!! Look at the size of me!” he yelled indignantly, his hands roughly gripping onto mounds of flesh.
A chortle escaping her lips she just grinned at Ben, her eyes smiling.
The irony lost on him his face demanded an explanation, he was pouring his heart out to her and she just laughed?! Lowering her body to his level she stepped nearer to Ben, so near he could hear her heartbeat, feel the warm trickle of her breath on his neck. Her hair fell playfully over her face framing her pretty eyes, her cute nose, he’d found her attractive before but this close she really was a picture, no picture wouldn’t do her justice, she was a masterpiece…

Astounded by her closeness his breath caught in his throat as she silently lifted her hand, her gold charm bracelet catching his eye as her fingers swept gently over the scorned tears that fell down his cheek. It seemed such a feminine, tender emotion, one of such depths he’d never experienced it before.
“No I don’t see that… what I see is those eyes of yours, so green they could rival a ocean. Or even one of the prettiest gems in the world. Now if no
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