PENALTY, Annika Sturm [best books to read for self improvement .TXT] 📗

me too, of course. Not that it was that often mind,' she laughed bitterly and looked at him as she was thinking it all through, 'would you have married me as well? I mean, we did talk about that, right?', she started crying again. Alex sighed and walked away towards Tom, 'look at me!' She shouted angrily as she grabbed the wine bottle and threw it against their white living room wall.

Tom and Alex ducked and stared at the wall. It looked like blood had been spilt. Max started crying again. Alex turned and looked at her in shock. She was shaking with anger. 'Do you love him?' She asked him in tears. Alex gulped and could feel Tom's eyes on him too. 'Em.' 'Answer me!' She shouted at him. He took a deep breath and nodded. 'Yes. I do.' He whispered and started crying again. Tom couldn't help himself and took Alex’s hand as he looked at him with fear in his eyes. Emma stared at them both in disbelief. 'Then you are throwing away everything we have? Everything we worked for? Our family? Your son?' She asked him. 'No, of course not.' Alex sobbed and Tom put his arm around his shoulders comforting him. She forced a laugh. 'Yes you are. You just decided against us.' Alex was feeling desperate again. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered. He walked towards her and tried to hug her but she turned away, 'I never wanted to hurt you and Max. Please you have to believe me.' Emma looked at him emotionless. 'Go Alex. You have no family anymore. You are free to do whatever you want. Don't come back.' She walked into Max's room and Alex gasped as he ran after her. 'Emma, please,' but he was too late. She had already locked the door behind her. He cried and knocked on the door, 'please. Don't take Max away from me. Please.' He sobbed and sat down outside their son's room holding his head in despair.

Tom ran towards him and kneeled down next to him. He had started crying as well now. He hugged his friend and kissed his cheek as Alex was desperately sobbing into his shoulder. Tom tried to comfort him but struggled to calm down himself. 'God, what have I done? I've destroyed your life.' Alex hugged and squeezed him. Tom pulled him closer and Alex rested his forehead against his friend's as he was trying to get his breath back. He smiled under his tears. 'You're my life now.' He said and Tom stroked his hair and the tears off his friend's cheeks. He kissed him lovingly and Alex could taste both their salty tears as they were desperately kissing each other, sitting on the floor outside Max's room.

It took a while for Alex to calm down. Tom held and soothed him. He checked the clock on the wall and couldn't believe that it was almost 11 o'clock already. Emma must have been in Max's room for over an hour. He kissed Alex’s hair. 'What now?' He whispered. Alex slowly sat up and looked at him. His face was tear-ridden and exhausted. Tom felt all his pain and gently stroked his cheeks. Alex took his hands and sighed. 'She won't come out of this room until we're gone,' Tom nodded, 'it sounds like at least she managed to put Max to sleep.' Alex said and almost cried again. The boys looked at each other. 'What are we going to do?', Tom asked him quietly, 'we can't stay here.' He stroked his friend's hair again. Alex shook his head. 'No. We can't.' He took a deep breath and slowly got up. Tom stood up with him and held his hand.

'Em,' Alex carefully knocked on Max's door, 'I know you want me to leave,' he paused, 'so we are going now,' he gulped, 'I know you must hate me right now. And I'm sorry I have caused you all this pain,' Tom hugged him as he talked, 'I'll call you tomorrow. Let's talk about all this. Please Em,' he was desperately waiting for a response, 'please?' He kept knocking on the door. 'Go Alex. Please.' Emma sounded incredibly tired. Tom took his hand. He slowly led him down the stairs and they left the house.

The boys got into the car. It was so cold, they could see their breath. Alex felt numb. He played with his car key and just stared. Tom looked at him. 'Where can we go?' He asked him carefully as he was shivering from the cold. Alex laughed sadly. 'You shouldn't even be here anymore.' 'But I am,' Tom said, 'and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.' Alex laughed tiredly and rubbed his forehead in desperation. 'How will you get back to Dortmund?' He asked him and rested both arms on the steering wheel. 'I can fly back early tomorrow morning. That's the least of our worries,' Tom stroked his hair, 'you are the one I'm concerned about.' Alex closed his eyes and enjoyed Tom's gentle touch. 'Did you kill him? Do we need to get rid of the body?', he asked him. Tom laughed tiredly and shook his head, 'what did you say to him?' Alex looked at him. 'That he had no right to do this to you.' Tom gulped. 'And I guess he was full of regrets,' Alex sighed and checked his watch, 'it's bloody midnight Tommy,' he was considering all their options of where they could go, 'I'm going to call my sister. Hopefully she's still awake and we can stay there for the night.' Tom nodded. 'Sounds good.'

Once they were on their way, Alex spoke to his sister Anna, who was surprised but happy to have them. He explained that Emma and him had had an argument and that Tom was still with him. 'Will you be okay?' It's a bit of a drive to Lübeck.' She asked him. 'It'll be alright. It's only half an hour or so.' Alex hit the motorway and the boys got underway. 'Oh damn,' Tom said all of a sudden, 'I haven't told Christine that I'm not on the flight, have I?' He took his phone out and sent her a text message. 'Don't you want to call her?' Alex asked quietly. Tom shook his head. 'I don't want to speak to her now.' Alex reached for Tom's hand. 'You don't have to do this Tommy. Make sure you think about it all again.' Tom looked at him and squeezed his hand.

By the time they had arrived at Anna's house, it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning and the boys were truly exhausted. She had prepared both guest bedrooms for them and Alex and Tom exchanged a look and smiled at each other, thanking her. She tried to get some sense out of Alex as to what had happened but he convinced her to let them rest now and talk about everything in the morning. 'Tommy will need to leave early.' 'That's fine,' Anna said smiling at him, 'just give me a shout.' Alex hugged her and kissed her goodnight. Then the boys closed the door behind them in one of the guest rooms and sat down on the bed.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Alex felt drained but was grateful for Tom's presence. He smiled at him. 'You look exhausted,' Tom said and put his arm around his shoulders. Alex’s heart jumped when he saw his friend's tender eyes, full of affection for him. Tom kissed him lovingly, 'Alex, this is all my fault.' He whispered. 'Tommy,' Alex said quietly, 'you have done nothing wrong.' Tom stood up and ran his hands through his hair in despair. 'Perhaps we should consider the other option we had.' He said hectically, pacing up and down the room. Alex frowned at his friend confused. 'What other option?' 'You decide against me. Against us,' Tom was gulping down tears, 'we break up and perhaps it's not too late for you to get your family back.' 'What?', Alex forced a laugh and slowly stood up, 'Tommy,' he grabbed his head and leant into his forehead, 'you don't mean that,' he tried to kiss him but Tom walked away, 'why are you saying this,' he almost started crying again, 'I love you. I want to be with you.' Tom laughed as he turned towards him in tears. 'So how would you feel if Markus started seeing Emma? If he became close to Max?', Alex stared at him, 'could you still love me then?', Tom asked him and bit his lip in agony, 'because that's his plan, that's why he cornered us, I think he knew deep down we weren't going to play ball. He wants your girl, Alex, and I know I couldn't bear watch you suffer,' he took a deep breath, 'because of me. Because I took you away from them.'

Alex was still staring at his friend. 'Is that what he said then,' he asked quietly, 'when you were outside?' Tom cast his eyes down. 'I read between the lines.' Alex slowly walked towards him again. He carefully put his arms around his friend and studied his face. 'Then he is an even bigger fool than I thought he was.' He started laughing quietly. 'What's so funny?' Tom's face was serious. 'She can't stand him. She has always told me how arrogant she finds him. He has no chance with Emma. And he is still a homophobic prick,' Tom didn't laugh, 'Tommy,' he whispered, 'you are not taking me away from them. I choose to be with you.' Tom shook his head. 'Are you sure about this, Alex, because you told me only yesterday that you can't lose your family. Look, I would understand,' he took his hands and kissed them. Alex could feel his friend's tears on his fingertips, 'I would understand if you decided...' Alex silenced him with a long, gentle kiss.

'I was going to tell her,' he said assertively, 'I was going to break up,' Tom stared at him, 'alright, maybe not as soon as today but I was getting used to the idea,' Tom gulped, 'you were right with everything you said. We couldn't continue like this. And you know what?' 'Hmm?' Tom looked at him unsure. 'In all my grief for Max, I also feel a little bit relieved. That she knows now, that we can start moving on.' He stroked his hair and smiled at him. Tom took a deep breath. 'But what's going to happen now Alex? Where will you live? And I'm bloody miles away. I can't even help you.' 'Hey,' Alex hugged him again, 'I'll be okay. I'll stay here at my sis' or I'll get another house somewhere,' he stroked Tom's cheeks and gazed at him, 'you always help me. Okay, you're not here physically but I know you care about me,' he squeezed him, 'I love you so much.' He whispered. 'I don't deserve you.' Tom said sadly, shaking his head. They rested their foreheads against each other and closed their eyes.

'Let's go to sleep,' Alex said, 'I'm so exhausted I can't keep my eyes open anymore.' Tom nodded and kissed him. The boys got ready for bed and curled up against each other under the duvet. Alex dreaded to think about the next few weeks, days even. Instead he focussed on the comforting warmth of Tom's body as he fell asleep in his arms.