PENALTY, Annika Sturm [best books to read for self improvement .TXT] 📗

to swallow down his tears. 'Baby.' He whispered. He looked at Emma with begging, tearful eyes and she stopped feeding Max for a moment. 'Mum,' Emma said gently, 'it's okay. Give us five minutes.' Her mother was about to protest but then quickly walked off into Max's room, giving Alex a threatening look. Emma sighed and nodded and Alex stormed towards his son. He picked him up, cuddled and kissed him and cried into his little jumper. He looked at Emma as he was trying to get his breath back. 'Thank you.' He gulped as he took a chair and slowly sat down next to her, holding Max closely.

Emma got up and walked towards the sofas. Alex followed her with his eyes. He noticed the red wine stain still on the wall, a nasty reminder of the end of their relationship. As he inhaled Max's scent, he couldn't stop crying quietly. He smiled at him under his tears stroking his hair and cheeks and kissed him. 'He won't stop asking for you,' Emma said in a monotonous voice as she stared outside the window, 'what should I tell him Alex?' He got up and carefully tried to approach her again holding Max in his arms. He sat down opposite her and wiped the tears off his cheeks. 'I'm so sorry Em,' he whispered, 'I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. Believe me, I am so, so sorry,' he stared at her and was physically shaking. Emma looked at him and there was something gentle in her eyes. Beyond her exhaustion and pain, there was something there that gave Alex a glimpse of hope. That she may just believe him or even understand, or at least try to, 'thank you for letting me hold him.' He said gently as he buried his nose in his son's hair again. Emma nodded briefly. 'I'm doing this for him.' She explained quickly. 'Yes I know.' Alex said and kissed his cheek smiling at him.

‘I called Christine.' She said and sounded pleased. 'I know.' Alex looked at her. 'Interesting,' she paused and crossed her arms in front of her chest, 'Christine told me she spoke to you and you clearly lied to her! Trying to protect him again, are you?' Emma sounded angry. Alex hesitated. 'When was this?' He gulped. 'This morning. She called me back.' 'Oh God.' Alex shook his head and took a deep breath. 'Oh God what?' She shouted. 'Nothing. I just didn't realise you actually told her,' Alex explained quickly, 'how did she take it?' He asked her. 'Not very well, surprisingly.' Emma said sarcastically. Alex nodded. 'You should have let Tommy explain.' He added quickly and then regretted his words straight away. 'Oh yeah?', she stood up and faced him, 'he clearly didn't have the guts after all!' 'Or the chance.' Alex mumbled. 'Or perhaps he doesn't love you as much as you think he does.' Her face was full of disgust and anger again. Alex cast his eyes down. Then he looked at her. 'It doesn't matter now,' he smiled sadly, 'you did what you thought was right. She would have found out either way.' Emma was taken aback by Alex’s calm reaction. She looked at him and sat back down. They both didn't speak for a moment. Alex kept cuddling Max and tried to lighten up his worried face by smiling at him. 'She was pretty hysterical.' Emma said quietly. Alex took a deep breath imagining the grief Tom would have to face now. 'Yeah.' He sighed and nodded.

'I'm sorry you had to hear all of this from Markus, Em. I'm not proud of myself, believe me.' Emma didn't look at him. She laughed exhaustedly. 'From him of all people Alex. There is something so creepy about him.' Alex grabbed her hand. Emma stared at him. She quickly removed it as she stood up again. 'So what's going to happen to us now?', Emma turned to him in tears, 'we're not married. I have nothing.' 'Em,' Alex got up still holding Max on his arm, 'do you really think I won't still look after you? Who cares if we're married or not. I will make sure you and Max are sorted out. You can keep the house if you want it? Or we'll sell it and I'll buy you another one. You have nothing to worry about.' He looked at her intently. 'So this is it. We really have no chance anymore?', she looked at him in tears and bit her lip in agony, 'you won't change your mind? And come back to us?' Alex felt sick. He shook his head and cast his eyes down. 'Please Em,' he gulped, 'don't make this so hard for me.' Alex looked at her and she slowly approached him. She put her arms around his waist and carefully tried to kiss him. Alex held his breath. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered and walked away. Emma stared at him in tears. 'You really love him, don't you?' Alex nodded as he was hiding his face in Max's hair again. ‘You should go now Alex.' Emma walked over and took Max on her arm. Alex felt signs of panic again. He gulped as he looked at Emma's wet face. 'Thank you again. For letting me be with you both for a bit.' He kissed the back of his son's hair and turned away before the tears started running down his face again.

'It's a shame,’ Emma said suddenly, ‘that I clearly can't make you happy like he can.' Alex turned and hugged them both kissing Emma's hair gently. 'I'm sorry.' He said again. 'I know.' She looked at him and Alex gasped at her words. He kissed her forehead and Max's cheek and smiled at her gently. 'Can I come back and visit some time soon?', he asked her anxiously, 'if your mother lets me in?' He laughed nervously. 'You're still his daddy.' She forced a smile and Alex’s face lit up. He briefly kissed her cheek. 'Thank you Em,' he slowly let go off them both, 'bye.' He kept turning around as he was walking down the stairs, waving at Max in tears.

Alex took a deep breath before he drove off. He felt weak again and was unsure whether it was the emotion or the fever. He quickly checked his phone before he hit the road and saw that he had a missed call and a voicemail from a number he didn't know. He listened to the message and cursed. 'Why did Em have to do this to him?' Alex returned Tom's call but it went straight to voicemail. 'Hey,' Alex said tenderly as the recording started, 'sorry I missed you. I went to see Em and tried to stop her from talking to Christine,' he gulped, 'but I was too late I know. I'm sorry Tommy. Call me after training okay?' He hung up.

As Alex started getting closer to the outskirts of Lübeck again, he was seriously wondering about his future. It felt like the boys had smashed up their lives around them but the relief was yet to kick in. And it would be the biggest test for their love and relationship yet.

Alex returned to an empty flat. His sister had left him a note on the kitchen table. 'Food's in the fridge. Hope you feel better. I'll be home for 7.' He smiled and checked the fridge but didn't fancy anything. He decided to go back to bed to sleep the rest of this illness off. The sooner he would be able to go back to training and get on with some of his life, the better.

Tom called him back when he was fast asleep. He jumped and quickly grabbed his phone. 'Tommy,' he mumbled half asleep as he picked up, 'you alright?' He wiped his eyes and slowly came round. 'Did I wake you up?' Tom asked gently. 'No, no,' Alex sat up in bed and held his forehead, 'it's fine, don't worry. How are you?' Tom hesitated. 'Yeah. Been better.' He laughed quietly. 'Have you got my bug?' Alex asked anxiously. Tom giggled. 'No, idiot. I have an ex-girlfriend who is going berserk.' 'Oh!' Alex nodded still wiping his eyes. 'Ex-girlfriend.' He thought. It sounded so odd. 'I'm sorry Tommy. I can't believe Em did this.' 'I can.' Tom sighed. 'What did Christine say then?' Alex asked him carefully. 'Oh just what you would expect. She howled abuse at me and promised that I'd have to pay for this.' Alex was alarmed. 'What does she mean by that?' 'Oh God knows.' 'I wish Em would have given you the chance to explain it all.' 'Hmm, yeah. It's done now though. We'll move on,' Tom paused, 'did you see Max?'

Alex told Tom about the visit and he listened attentively. 'That's great news given the circumstances,' Tom sounded relieved, 'I can imagine her mother wanting to kill you,' he giggled, 'I'll have to face the same hell.' 'She tried to kiss me.' Alex gulped. 'Really?', Tom asked surprised, 'and?' He almost held his breath. Alex was amused at his friend's anxious reaction. 'What do you think, muppet?,' Tom exhaled with relief, 'it was strange Tommy,' Alex continued, 'I…, I wasn't even tempted to kiss her,' Tom didn't say anything, 'it just shows, doesn't it?' 'Shows what?' Tom still sounded nervous. 'That I belong to you now.' Alex whispered and he could hear his friend smile. 'That sounds so awesome.' Tom said gently and if both boys had been able to see each other beaming, they would have laughed out loud.

The next few days were still tough. Alex tried to pick up the pieces of his old life. The press had got wind of him having moved out and the journalists were hungry for a good story. Alex had to confirm his separation from his girlfriend and cringed at seeing himself in all the local papers. His agent was as supportive as possible and gave him some sound advice of how to handle this crisis best.

Alex’s Facebook page was full of messages for him. Some were sad, even abusive, others supportive. He had to chuckle at some girls cheering, hoping they could be the next woman for him. He shuddered. As he was surfing the internet, he even spotted an article linking Alex’s and Tom's relationship breakdowns. 'Old friends and ex-team colleagues both decide to move on.' He sent the link to Tom, who thought it was amusing.

At least the cold had finally gone and the cut in his hand had healed and Alex could focus on his work again. He’d been staying at his sister's house since the break-up but had briefed his agent to start looking for houses around Hamburg for him.

Similarly, Tom tried to cope with the new circumstances as well as he possibly could. He was living between Felix's and Kai's flats whilst he got an apartment sorted. The press didn't give him less of a hard time. He had to go through the same amount of questions about his relationship breakdown. Just like Alex, he tried to focus the journalists more on his ability to play football and his objectives and performance with his club for the rest of the season than his split from Christine.

Over the next couple of weeks the boys called each other several times a day. They went through ups and downs together. Sometimes it was Tom who could hardly face getting out of bed, other times Alex was in tears missing Max so much that he didn't know how to handle it all. Either way, they continued to support each other and promised one another that they would get through this. No matter what.

After a month Alex and Tom had finally made some progress. They had both found somewhere to live and excitedly shared pictures of their newly purchased