Forever, Trina T [sad books to read .txt] 📗

I had to glare at him.

Paul knew I still had feelings for Logan. I never told him that but it was an unspoken truth between us. One of the reasons Paul and I were still good friends, Paul was good at being there for you, he could keep a secret like no other person I know.Paul laughed more when he saw my face. “Relax.” He mouthed. I stayed glaring at him.

There was an awkward silence for awhile as we all sat on the old boards. Logan’s eyes never left my face. Even though I refused to look at him I could feel his eyes on me. Paul, thankfully, finally broke the silence. “Zar, seeing anybody?”

Again I glared at him. He smiled. Stupid boy, I thought.

“No, I’m not.” I said coldly.

I looked over at Logan; his eyes were wide with surprise. “You aint got no one?”

“She just said that.” I could tell Paul was enjoying this, a little too much. I knew what he was trying to do. I was going to get him back for this. I just didn’t know how yet.
“Why?” Logan asked.
“Why what?” I had forgotten about Paul’s question.
“Why don’t you got a man?”

I looked down at the silver ring Logan had given me and I started to twist it around my fingers again.

“I don’t know. You got a girl?” I decided to counter with a question.

“Naw, I was with this one girl but she played me.” Logan said looking a little hurt.

I was trying to hold myself back from asking too many questions. Paul noticed so he asked one of the many questions that were burning in my mind. Even though I would bet my life on it he already knew the answer.

“What happened?”

The confused look on Logan’s face told me I would have won the bet. Logan hesitated but finally answered after looking at Paul like he had three heads. “I caught her cheatin’ on me with some other dick.”

“Oh…I’m…I’m sorry…” I stammered. If I was thinking of the same girl I saw him with the last time I talked to him, I was surprised she had only cheated once.

“Not your fault.” Logan spat. I caught the underlining thought behind those words. He meant it was my fault, because if we had never broken up then he would have never been cheated on.

Paul caught the look on my face. I bent my head away from both of them.

“So, Zar where you working now?” Paul changed the subject. I still didn’t turn my head to them. My eyes still had tears brimming the edges of them. Instead I looked up at the cut outs of the dark night sky, trees over taking most of the brilliant view.

“I’m dancing…” I said. Paul’s eyes got wide. He forgot what I did to make money and his face showed how guilty he felt for bringing it up in front of Logan. I wasn’t mad, more annoyed. I would die if Logan found out what kind of ‘dancing’ I was doing.

“Where?” Logan asked.

“No where you would no.” I said dryly. Hoping he would drop it.

The boys knew I loved to dance. I would always try and teach all the boys how to dance as we grew up. I told them girls loved a guy who could dance. And ever sense then they would always let me show them any new moves I had learned, which I never said no to.

“So how are the rest of the guys, you talk to them any of them still?” Paul asked, again changing the subject.

I could answer this question easily. “Mike is in jail for drug charges, he won’t be getting out for about 30 years. Pedro is married and has a baby on the way. And Lonny has three kids with three different women.”

“What?!” Logan’s face was a mix of worry and shock. I forgot sometimes that he hasn’t been around and has only talked to Paul out of all of us.

“You haven’t told him about them?” I asked Paul a little surprised.

Paul just shrugged. “He never really asked about them.”

I was surprised. But then I thought if he didn’t ask about them, he probably never asked about me either. My heart fell.

“There was only one person he ever asked about and that person was the only one who don’t have a dick.” Paul said laughing hysterically.

I started laughing when I saw Logan’s face. He swung back and punched Paul right in the shoulder. Paul grabbed his shoulder in pain but kept laughing. I smiled realizing Paul meant me.

Logan quickly changed back to the rest of the guys. “So wait, back up, Mike is in jail for how long?”

“30 years. He got busted three times with crack and weed. The judge just gave up on him.” I said. Mike being in Jail was old news, this happened a few months ago. The shock of it all wore off too.

“Well that’s his dumbass fault. Always dealing without thinking.” Paul said. Paul and Mike had been close once too. But Mike had changed after getting mixed up with heavy drugs, he had stopped hanging out with us years ago.

“Lonny has three kids?” Logan asked laughing.

“With three different girls.” Paul added.

“That boy, he was always jumping any girl he could get his hands on.” We all laughed at my comment.

“Looks like Pedro is the only one of us that actually got it right.” Paul laughed.

“No way! He’s married with a baby! He’s only 20!” Logan said. I had to laugh at him and so did Paul.

“So?” Paul asked.

“Wow, so you and Z.J. here are the only ones that are actually doing something in your life?”

“Who ever said having a family wasn’t doing something with your life?” I asked.

“You know what I mean, Z.J., don’t get all defensive.” Logan quipped.

“Well, what are you doing with your life?” I asked. He didn’t need to know that Paul was the only one really doing something with his life.

“I don’t know yet. I take it one day at a time…” I rolled my eyes.

Before someone could say something Paul’s phone went off.
“Hello?” He answered. “Ok…ok…alright….be there in a minute…ok…ok…yea, bye!” he hung up. Logan and I both raised an eye brow at him.

“I got to go.” He said.

“Really? Dint catch that from the phone call.” I said. He stuck his tongue out at me. “You’re such a child.” I smiled.

“How will I get home?” Logan asked Paul annoyed.
Paul looked at me. “Zar can drive you. Bye you two!” Paul yelled as he jogged away. “Be good! Don’t do anything I would do!”

Logan and I both rolled our eyes. I had no clue what to say to Logan, I looked over at him, his eyes still on me, like they had been all night. I started twisting the ring again.

“What?” I finally asked, annoyed with his new found staring problem.

“Nothing…”

“Liar.” I snapped.

He leaned back resting his hand behind him. “I was just thinking about how pretty you are.”

I blushed. I was glad for the lack of light so he couldn’t see. “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me for telling the truth.” He smiled.

I started twisting the ring faster. He finally looked away from my eyes to look at what I was doing. His eyes lit up.

“I can’t believe yea still got that!” he grabbed my hand before I could react to his words.

“Yea…” I really didn’t know what else to say. I had promised him once, long ago, that I would always wear it but I guess he forgot that promise.

“Wow…” He smiled. Then his face fell. “What you put it on just cause you knew I was goin’ to see yea?” his words sounded almost angry.

“No!” I gritted. I pulled the ring off to show a deep white line where the ring had once been. From the moment Logan gave me the ring, it has never left my finger. Logan’s face had so many emotions showing I could not pin point one. He glided the ring back onto my finger.

“For real?”

“Yea…for real…” I whispered.

I looked into Logan’s deep brown eyes. The eyes I have never stopped loving, the eyes I still love. Logan was the first guy I ever truly loved and he is the only one I still love.


6 years ago…

“Do you think she’ll like it?”

“No…” Paul said. I felt all the hope rush out of me. “Zar will love it!!” Paul laughed.

My smile went from ear to ear. I was too happy to be mad at Paul for messing with me. I looked down at the simple silver ring. I knew Zara liked simple things, she wasn’t all about showing off. But it was still hard to find something that I thought she’d like. Paul, Pedro, Mike, Lonny and I had spent weeks trying to find the perfect ring I could give Z.J.

“So when you goin’ to see her?” Pedro asked as he tried to fix part of the fort. It was the middle of winter, Christmas just around the corner and all Pedro was worried about was the stupid fort.

“When she gets back from her dads, not until after new year’s…” I was a little pissed about that. But it wasn’t like she had a choice. Her mom made her go, she always put up a fight to see her dad but I think secretly she really wanted to. She just would never admit to it.

“Damn! That long?” Pedro whistled.

“Yea, don’t remind me!” I growled. I closed the box and put it in my pocket.

I missed Z.J. I always did when she went to see her dad. Her dad didn’t like if she was on the computer or her phone all the time, especially if she was talking to me. So the only time I would get to talk to her was at night right before she went to bed. Her dad hated me. But I didn’t care he could hate me all he wanted; as long as Z.J. loved me I was happy. I looked over to our tree. The one I had written our names into a couple months ago. I knew Z.J. and I were meant for each other but sometimes I felt like she was holding me at a distance. That always pissed me off, no matter how close I would try and get to her, she never really let me in. but then again, I thought, we had the rest of our lives to figure it out.
“Dude!” Mike yelled. I snapped out of my day dream.

“What?” I snapped. Mike and I had grown up together. Our mom’s even have pictures of us in our dippers. Mike and I used to be close once, but once we got into junior high, mike got mixed up in heavy