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find him again and tell him that the fort still stood proud.

To my surprise there was a blanket on the floor of the fort. I looked over at Logan.

“Paul brought it, don’t think badly. He said it could be muddy back here.” Logan held up his hands up in a defensive way.

“Uh huh!” I smiled.

“No really, ask him.”

“Don’t worry, I will.” I smiled.

I leaned up against the back of the fort, thankful for some protection from the cold air. Logan somehow ended up kneeling between my legs. He had my face cupped gently in his hands.

“God, you’re so beautiful…”

“I think that’s the third time you’ve told me that tonight.” I laughed.

“I can’t help if you’re so breathtaking.”
I just rolled my eyes. Logan’s face turned from playful to serious as he went to kiss me again. I couldn’t help but lick my lips.

The way Logan kissed me was like no other guy had. His lips fit with mine in every way. He pulled me so that I was lying on my side, face to face with him. He held his head up with his elbow as I laid my head on his upper arm. Logan placed his hand on my hip, he tightened his grip, pulling my body as close to his as it could get. Being literally smushed into Logan was the best place I could think to be. He rocked my body against his until I got the rhythm; he let his hand glide under my sweater and onto my bare skin. He ran his hands up my side until he felt my bra. As we kissed he moved so that his upper torso was over me.
I had my one hand on his cheek and the other arm I was half laying on wrapped around his neck. I wanted him so badly; I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt like this.

“I love you, Zara…” Logan breathed out.
I pulled back from him. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing, I’ll tell you later.” He reached down and kissed away my question. He pulled his shirt off to revel a nice looking body, defiantly different then I remember him looking.

“Aren’t you cold?” I asked as I felt his torso with my hands.

“No…” Logan reached for the hem of my hoodie and went to pull it over my head.

“Wait, I’m cold…just cause your not don’t mean I’m not either.”

Logan laughed. “I’ll warm you up. I promise. You’ll only be cold for a minute.”

I let him pull my hoodie off and I was defiantly cold. Goose bumps took over my smooth skin. Logan leaned over me and kissed my stomach. Now I had even more goose bumps but they weren’t from the cold.
I started to shake; Logan thought it was from the cold so he placed himself on top of me, warming me with his body heat. He ran his finger over my jaw line, smiling down at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Noth-”

I cut him off before he could finish. “Don’t say nothing. Tell me.”

“I’ve just really missed you. Paul has been telling me what you have been up to for years but, but it wasn’t the same as knowing first hand.”
Logan went to kiss me but I gently pushed him back. “You’ve had Paul spying on me?” I asked, I wasn’t mad…more curious.

“Well, ummm…yea….” Logan looked a little embarrassed. I smiled wide, reached my lips to his and kissed him gently.

“Dork.” I told him as I pulled away from our kiss.

“That wasn’t nice!”

“Grow up!”

“You’re younger than me!”

“So?”

“Z.J….”

I laughed at our little quarrel. It reminded me of old times. Logan rolled his eyes at me. His started to kiss me again; the passion that was between us was so intense I thought I was going to pass out.

Logan reached for my jeans, trying to unbutton them. His were already almost off. I was into the kiss so much to even notice he had taken his jeans off. It wasn’t until I felt his hand on my bare thigh that I looked down. Logan laughed and started kissing my neck and chest, moving slowly down my body. Having his lips on my body felt so good, so refreshing. Logan hooked his thump under the band on my thong, tugging them down.

“Take my boxers off.” He told me.

I hesitated. He noticed and stopped with my underwear to look me in the eyes. “What?” he whispered.

“I can’t have sex…”

He looked confused. “You on your period or something?” I rolled my eyes.

“No…”

“Then?” I could tell he was trying to remember something that happened to make me refuse him.

“I think I should leave…” I sat up trying to find my hoodie.

“No, don’t go…please. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking with the head on my shoulders. I just want you so bad.” Logan looked a little worried. I didn’t know how to comfort him.

“I want you too. It’s just…” I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling to him. I didn’t even know if he’s actually care.

“It’s just what?”

I took a deep breath. It was awkward having this talk with me practically naked and Logan fully naked. I kept my eyes on the corner of the fort not wanting to look Logan in the eyes.

“I, I haven’t had sex…in…”

He didn’t let me finish. “But you’re not a virgin…are you?”

“No. I just haven’t had sex in a long time.” That was the truth; I really haven’t had sex with anyone sense the guy I lost my virginity to five years ago. And I hated to think about him.

“It’s ok. I’ll go slow.” Logan said as he kissed my stomach.

“No! I think I should go.” I slipped out from under him pulling my jeans back on and looking for my hoodie.

“What? Don’t go! Come on Zara, I’m sorry. Forget I even asked.”

I didn’t say anything. I found my hoodie and crawled back into the cold night air.

“What? Is your body only belong to Zach?” Logan asked with venom.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe Logan would ask me a question like that. I felt anger rise through my body, tears at my eyes at the memory of Zach.

“Fuck you, Logan! You don’t know anything. I hate that piece of shit! I can’t believe you said that!” I spat at him as I stormed down the steep hill, falling back a couple of times. I was out of the forest in record time. Leaving him naked in the middle of the fort.

By the time I got to my block, hot tears were running down my face at uncontrollable speeds. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. Memories of Zach flooding my brain. Good I hated Zach and right now Logan wasn’t my favorite person either.



5 years ago…



“Logan! What the fuck are you doing?” Vikki asked.
I looked at Vikki. She was fine as hell. Tiny body, perky boobs, nice ass, long blonde hair, what more could a guy ask for? The only problem with Vikki was her attitude. She had the worst language and the worst temper. Before I met her I thought I had a bad temper, I quickly learned mine was no match for hers.

“Hello? Earth to space cadet!” Vikki said as she waved her hand in front of my face. I pushed her hand out of my face.

“What?” I snapped. God, sometimes she just bugged the hell out of me.

“I’m leaving. Marcy wants to go shopping for some dresses.” Vikki said as she grabbed her purse.

“iight. Bye.”

“What the fuck? No kiss?” She sneered. Oh yea that made me want to kiss her all the more! NOT!
But I kissed her anyway, easier to comply than to start a fight.

She walked out of my room and through the front door. I let out a sigh of relief. I don’t know why I even kept Vikki around. I didn’t love her, actually I hated her most of the time. But I kept her around anyway, much to Paul’s liking. He couldn’t stand Vikki and made it very clear that he didn’t like her at all. Not that she cared.

I couldn’t believe summer was coming to an end. I would be a sophomore this year. That meant she would be a freshman. I wasn’t too sure how school would go having her there.

I haven’t seen her sense we broke up…I missed her but I was still pissed at her. She broke up with me to go out with this mother fucker Zach. That guy was the stupidest guy I ever met. He was always talking about fighting and smoking out, which was fine with me until he stole my girl from me. I tried to tell her what a mistake she was making but she didn’t listen, like always. She was too stubborn. We’ve been broken up for sense the end of March, I haven’t seen her in four months, I haven’t even talked to her. And I’m not sure I will when I see her in school.

A pillow hitting the back of my head brought me back to reality.

“What the fuck!” I turned around to see Paul laughing at my reaction.

“What’s going on?” Paul asked as he sat on my beanbag chair.

“Nothing…”

He threw a carton of cigarettes at me. “Man, I’m trying to quit.” I said as I threw them back. Paul lit one.

“You look like you need one.”

“So I look that bad huh?” I laughed as I gave in and took one.

Paul laughed as he took a drag. “That Vikki girl is really messing with your head. You should just dump her ass already! What’s with you and these damn nasty girls?”

“I don’t want to hear it!” I could feel the nicotine calm the nerves in my body.

“Too bad. That girl is total trash! She is even worse than the last girl you were with. And I didn’t think that was possible!”

“Hey I got rid of Krissy.”

“Only cause she got pregnant by another guy!”

Paul had me there. I had no problem letting Krissy go. I had no feelings attached to her.

“Why do you keep getting with these nasty ass girls? If you aint careful you’re going to catch something bad!”

“I aint going to catch nothing!”

“That’s what everyone says.” Paul said taking another drag. “You think Zar will come back to you if you got some nasty dieses from some used up hood rat?”

“Don’t talk about her.”

“See you can’t even say Zara’s name! You still love Zara!”

“Fuck off.”

I didn’t want to talk about her. I didn’t want to think about her. It was bad enough that I thought about her in the first place. I just couldn’t

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