Forever, Trina T [sad books to read .txt] 📗

drugs and he really hasn’t been the same sense. Its not like we didn’t smoke up on occasion but the shit Mike was into was 10 times harder.

“Someone was thinking about Zara again!” Mike mocked.

“Fuck off.” I hardly had the patients for him anymore. All the rest of the guys knew this except Mike.

“What? You should be happy you got her! If you wouldn’t have gotten to her first there would have been plenty of other guys who would gladly take your place. You can make us feel better by telling about how good she is in bed!” Mike sat back in the fort. Pedro had stopped working on it when he heard what Mike had just said.

Zara and I weren’t having sex. She was 13 and I was 14. It’s not like I didn’t want to. But Zara wanted to wait; she said she wanted to save herself for marriage, all us guys knew that. She has been saying that forever. But that didn’t mean I didn’t love her and it didn’t stop me from wanting her to be mine. We fooled around yea, but I always made sure everything was ok to do first.

“Fuck you, Mike!” Paul said. “How dare you talk about Zar like, like she is just some other girl!” Paul looked out for Zara like a sister and ever sense Mike got into hard core drugs, Paul and I have become closer.

“She is just some other girl!” Mike said. “Just cause we all hang out don’t change the fact that she is a girl.”

“How can you say that? Man, Zara has been there for all of us just like we’ve been there for her. She aint just some girl you dick around with then cast away, she’s our friend, she’s one of us.” Pedro looked appalled.

Lonny lit up a cigarette and took a drag off it, observing us. He was always quite. I could tell, though, that he was holding his tongue, not wanting to get involved in the fight. He was two years older than me and was looked up to by most of us.

“Hey, I love the girl too, just like the rest of yea. But she is just a girl. It don’t matter that we’ve known her for so long. If I wanted to, I’d fuck her and never even think twice about her.” Mike smiled.

He must be tripping on something, anytime he was high he acted like this. It didn’t excuse him though. Pedro, Paul and I were getting ready to jump his ass. He may feel like that about Z.J. but the rest of us didn’t. I eyed Paul and Pedro the both nodded at me. It was on.

Before I could rush him Lonnie spoke up. Smoke escaping his mouth as he said his one word. “Leave.”

“What?” Mike asked. Confused.

“Leave, go away. This place here...” Lonnie motioned to the surrounding area. “…we all built together. It’s for people that actually want to be with the people here. If you don’t respect Zar like you should then you can leave. And don’t come back.”
It always surprised me how Logical and calm Lonnie was. He never argued or got into fights like the rest of us. He was one of the biggest man whores I knew, but he had a good head on his shoulders. He never took crap like this from anyone, except Z.J when she was yelling at him for sleeping around so much.

“You really want me to leave? You going to pick pussy over your own guy?” he asked all of us.

“Were picking one of us over a pussy.” Pedro said. He looked disgusted with Mike.

I wish I would have had a camera to take a picture of Mikes face. “Fuck you all! I hope you all burn.” He got up and stormed out of the forest.

~~~
“You look amazing!” I told Z.J.

She was wearing a long sweater dress type thing with boots and tights on. Her hair was straightened and she hardly had any makeup on. I loved this girl, I thought as I pulled her into my arms.

“Thank’s baby, it’s all for you!” she smiled.
I felt the box with the ring in it, inside my pocket. I was finally seeing her, a week after new year’s and I wanted to give her her gift.

“Hun, are you ok?” She asked. I was shaking I was so nervous.

“Umm, yea. Hey do you think you could go get me some water?”

She looked at me a little worried, but she did as I had asked her to. When she came back the box was in the middle of the chair she was sitting in. she handed me the water and I took it, gulping it down in seconds.

“You sure you’re ok? You want me to get your mom?” she looked really worried but I couldn’t help how jittery I felt.

“No, I’m fine, trust me?”

She shrugged her shoulders and went to sit down.

“What the…?” she started as she looked at her chair. She picked it up before she sat on the box and gave me a confused look.

“Open it, you’re killing me here, babe.” My knee was shaking.

She laughed as she ever so slowly opened the box, holding eye contact with me the whole time. I was ready to grab the box out of her hand and open it for her. But I knew I couldn’t do that. After what seemed like hours she finally got the box opened all the way. She slowly looked down at what was inside. Her eyes widened as she took it in.

“Oh…ohh….wooo…” she stammered. Her mouth was hanging open so I gently closed it with the tips of my fingers.

“umm….do you like it?”

“Like it?” she asked as she stared into the box. “I will never take it off!” Her smiled reached from ear to ear. I copied her smile and my heart finally relaxed.

“Promise?”

“I promise! It’s gorgeous! Thank you so much!” she took the ring out of it’s holder and went to put it on a random finger. I took it from her before she could put it on.

“What?” she looked annoyed. I laughed as I slipped the ring on her right ring finger.

“Left is for marriage…so I until I can afford a nice engagement ring, you can wear this ring on your other ring finger.”

“Marriage?” Zara and I really didn’t talk about the future like that. Zara had a problem with marriage and the idea of having to rely on another person. The one thing I knew about Zara that would never change is that she makes sure she doesn’t have to rely on one person for everything. She doesn’t even rely on her mom.

“I was just saying…” actually I knew I wanted to be with her forever but I knew I couldn’t tell her that.

“It’s gorgeous!” Zara smiled, changing the subject. She pulled me into a deep kiss, making me forget all about the awkwardness that had just happened.


Present day…

“Z.J. I’ve missed you…” Logan said. It has been so long sense I’ve heard him call my ‘Z.J.’ he was the only one who ever called me that.

For a moment there I really thought he was going to kiss me. I scolded myself for being disappointed that he didn’t.

“I’ve missed you too…” I said the words honestly.
There was no reason to lie. I really had missed him. As I looked at him more closely I could see he has grown so much in the past years, his shoulders wider, and his hips narrower. He had a build between boxed and athletic. His hair was longer then he usually had it and he had a couple more ear rings. But other than that he looked just like my old Logan.

It was getting colder as the night wore on. I pulled the loose fabric of my sweater tighter around my body. But it wasn’t helping all that much. Logan noticed and pulled me into the crook of his arm. I hesitated but finally let in.

“You get prettier every time I see you...”

“Thanks…” I said. Then we were quiet for awhile, watching the small pond glisten in the moon light.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, hoping he wouldn’t hear me.

He looked down at me. “You’re sorry? For what?” his eye brows knitted together.

I took a breath, moving away from the warmth of his body. I wanted to see his gorgeous face.

“I’m sorry because, because I ruined that for us…” I pointed to our names on the trees. I could feel hot tears forming in my eyes; I fought with all my strength to keep them from spilling down my cheeks.

Logan looks of confusion quickly vanished as understanding washed over his face. He pulled me back into his warm body. The tears spilling over when the feeling of safety and love rushed through my body.

“Listen, that was years ago…we all make mistakes and we all learn from them. We both made them and we both learned. Don’t think about the past…”

I couldn’t help but cry. I never stopped loving this man that was sitting in front of me. How could he tell me not to think of the past when that’s all I ever did? I thought about it every day…every time I looked at the ring on my finger. Every time I thought about the choices I made when I was so young and so stupid.

“I’m always thinking about the past.”

“Why think about something you can never change?”

“Because that’s all I ever have of you…your only in my past.”

“Z.J. this isn’t the past, this is the present.” Logan pulled my chin up, so I was looking at him. He leaned in and kissed me. My body instantly felt like fire was going through my veins. I’ve imagined Logan kissing me again for years but this was so much better than my mind could have imagined.
Logan pulled away. I looked up at him, my heart was racing and my breathing fast. He looked me in the eyes. “Wow…” He sighed deeply.

I smiled. “Yea, wow…”

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a very, very long time.”

Before I could reply Logan dipped his head down and kissed me for the second time. This kiss was nothing like the first. It was deep and passionate. We kissed each other like it was our lasts moments in one another’s arms. He pulled away again and started giving me small kisses down my cheek and neck until he reached the top of my hoodie.

“You don’t know how good it feels to have you in my arms again.” He breathed into my ear and my whole body shook with anticipation.

He took me by the hand as he led me into the old fort. Pedro had done a good job fixing it up. It looked old but sturdy. I’d have to