Love is a Sacrifice, Samara Fitzgerald [english reading book .txt] 📗

last nerves.

As I was trying to go back to sleep, I start to think about what Erin said. Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I do need to try to let this go. I mean, it is just a dream. All I need to do is relax and let go of this. It will take some time, but I will soon let go. I look at my clock to see what time it was. It is 3 o’ clock in the morning. I need to get myself energized for another stressing day at work tomorrow. When I yawned, I turned on my side and went to sleep. All I dreamt was good dreams for the rest of the night.
Chapter 6

Ever since Wednesday, John have been avoiding me. When ever we passed by each other, he wouldn’t even look at me. Not even glance at me or say hi or nothing. Also when he would by the office to deliver mail, he would just say hey, deliver, and then leave. It was like he was ignoring me. It’s not like I’m mad that he ignoring me or anything, but he can at least act like I actually exist. He probably finally see how crazy I am from the way I ran away crying after we kissed. He probably think I am weird and needs help.

That is when I snapped out of it. What is wrong with me? Why do I care that John is ignoring me? Isn’t this what I wanted, to not to be caught up with a man? Then why do I feel so mad at him?
Why am I having these feeling? I want the feelings to go away but at the same time I want them to stay. All I know is that these feelings need to go away or I might get hurt. Besides, John may not feel the same way about me.

The week is finally over and that mean I can finally relax for the weekend. I don't have to think about Bill, Vickie, John or anything else for the matter. I can just rest. But I was wrong. On Saturday, Erin had to run some errands for the church so she asked me to go grocery shopping. Erin is always asking me to do things. She is really working on my nerves.
"Why can't you go grocery shopping after you run your errands. I just left from work yesterday having to do things for Vickie. Now I have to Do things for you. I want to relax, not feel like I'm back at work again."
"Please, Iris. I will do anything for you if you go. Besides, this is your home too since you paying half of the rent. If I don't have food, you don't have food." Erin then gave me the sad puppy eyes look. Man, I hate when she do that. Besides, she did have a point there. This is my place too.
"Oh fine. You lucky I love you. You owe me." After I said that, Erin looked so happy. She start jumping up and down like some 5 year old. She then hugged me so tight.
"Thank you so much, Iris. You the best sister I ever had."
"I'm the only sister you have. Now can you let go of me. I can't breathe." I said in barely a whisper. Erin is so strong, It's like she on steroids or something.

I put on my coat and purse and keys and left out of the apartment. It wasn't as chilly as it was yesterday. I caught a cab to the store because it wasn't in walking distant. I can't wait until I get myself a car because I hate riding a cab. Most of the cab driver are rude or I can't understand their thick accent, or they can't speak English at all. Right now, I am saving money so I can get myself a car. I'm almost there to buy myself a car.

Once I got to the bus station, the cab driver automatically stuck out his hand for the money. Cussing him out from under my breath, I paid him my fee and got out and went in the grocery store. I start looking for the items that Erin had on her grocery list. Man, Erin don't even need most of the stuff on this grocery list. What would she need with lamb when she on a fast at church and I definitely don't even eat lamb.

As I finally left the store from buying all the items Erin needed, I bumped into someone.
"Hey, watch where you.." I stopped when I saw that it was John. He was with a woman. She look so pretty with her auburn hair and brown eyes. No wonder he was ignoring me. He finally found a girl he can get some from when he couldn't get any from me. Or, he was probably with this woman when he kissed me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into... Oh, hey Iris." We stood there for a while, looking at each other until the girl beside John cleared her voice.
"Oh, um Iris, this is Yasmine. Yasmine, this is Iris. We work in the same building together."
Yasmine smiled at me. I had to make myself smile.
"So, how are you doing Iris?" John had the nerve to ask me that. Why am I getting so worked up over him with being with some one else? I can't stand here though and watch this anymore.
"Um, I can't do this. I have to go. Nice to see you John." That is when I ran. Once I was a block from the store. I stopped. Then I touched my face and felt it was wet. I didn't know I was crying. Man, I hate myself. I hate that I'm having such strong feelings for this man I don't know. Why am I so angry? I wiped my face with a piece of tissue I found in my purse.

"Iris, why... did you... run away like that? You keep... running away." I turned around to see John trying to catch his breath. He actually chased after me?
"Don't worry about me. Don't you need to go back to your girlfriend? I bet she is worrying about you."
That is when he straightened up. He looked confused. "You mean Yasmine?"
"Yeah, who else was I talking about." That is when he start laughing. What is he laughing at?
"Sorry, it's just funny that you think Yasmine is my girlfriend. Yasmine is not my girlfriend. She's my sister." I felt so stupid and humiliated. Now John probably now think I’m crazy. I felt myself blush of embarrassment so I looked down.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know. It's just look like you guys were a couple so I automatically thought you guys were a couple. Y'all were so close..." before I could finish, John interrupted me.
"Wait up, Yasmine and I are just real close." Then this grin formed on his face.
"You were jealous. That is why you ran away."
“No I wasn’t. I just have to go somewhere.”
“Then why does it look like you were crying?”
“I wasn’t crying. I just had something in my eye. Can you just let this go?” I was hoping that John would go away but he still stood there, looking at me.
“Iris, you know we are not together, right? I mean, you have nothing to be jealous about. All we did was kiss. We barely know each other.” As he was saying this, he was coming closer. My heart was pounding against my chest. I wanted to get close to John too but I stopped myself.
“Then why did you come after me, if you don‘t care?” John just kept quiet.
“Well, thanks for looking after me. I am okay. I have to leave now. My sister is probably waiting for me.” When I turned to the streets to call a cab, John stopped me.
“I can drive you home.” Was he trying to make things harder for me. This was such a bad idea. I’m already having a hard time being around him for a short period of time, now I have to ride in the same car as him.
“Um, no thank you. I can get myself home. I can take care of myself. Thanks for the offer though.”
“I insist.” John waited for my response. I know if I say no, he will keep asking so I know I had to give up.
“Okay, I guess it is okay for you to drive me home.”
“Well, my car is still at the grocery store since I chased you.”

We walked back to the grocery store in silence. I felt so uncomfortable standing next to John. Sometimes, we would brush shoulders and that electricity would come. Once we got to the car, I told him my address and he drove to my place. It was so quiet on the drive home. I sat, turned toward the door, looking outside at the sites. John’s voice then startled me.”
“Why do you seem so distant or you seem like you hiding something or hiding from someone?”
“Is it that obvious. It’s a long story really”
“I have time.” Why does he want to know my business.
“I don’t feel like talking about it.”
“Oh, okay.” After that, it was quiet again.

Once we got to my place. I got out of the car and I t the groceries. John got out of the car. What is he doing? I guess he is going to watch me as I go into my house. I went up the stairs to the apartment. Since Erin and I was on the fourth floor, my legs was hurting. I turned around and saw that John followed me in the building.
“Well, thanks for the ride. You can go now that you see that I made it safely to my apartment.”
“Iris, there is something I have to say…” His eyes were dark with passion and hunger. I swallowed hard. Before I let him go any further, I stopped him.
“John, I can’t.” John was moving closer and closer to me. I knew I should have said no. Once John backed me against the door of the apartment, he trapped me and look down into my eyes. My voice was trapped into my throat. Man, he is so handsome. John leaned forward and kissed me softly. When our lips brushed against each other, I felt myself heat up. Then he let out a soft growl and kissed me harder this time with hunger. Oh hell, I give up. I kissed John back. Oh and it felt so good. It felt like I was floating on a cloud. His tongue soon begged for entrance and I gave it just that. I moaned when John traveled the kisses down to my neck. I need him right now. I parted from him and opened the door. I then turned back around and start kissing him.
“You sure about this?” John said on between our kisses.
“Yes, I’m sure. it’s fine.” I start kissing him again. After a few more kisses, he pulled back again.
“What?” I said impatiently.
“What about your sister? What happen if she see us?” Man he is full of questions.
“She won’t be home until later. Now come on.”

When we kept kissing, it became hotter and hotter.