Love is a Sacrifice, Samara Fitzgerald [english reading book .txt] 📗

All of my emotions was going out of control. I was feeling nervous and excited at the same time. My heart was beating so fast it was like I was about to die. The urges I had for John kept getting stronger. These clothes was not helping it either. I start trying to yank off his shirt. Since he had on a sweater, it was hard for me to take it off. Once John saw that I was struggling, he took off the sweater for me. Oh my god, his body look like some sexy god, nicely sculpted with muscle. I touched his chest, feeling that his heart was beating fast too. John took my hand and kissed every fingertip while looking at me. He then kissed me on the mouth. We start kissing again and backed me against the table. John then pushed everything off the crowded table and picked me up and put me on the table. He wrapped my legs around waist. I felt something bulging in his pants. Oh wow. John start unbuttoning my shirt. While doing so, he was kissing me. I start feeling self conscious. You see, my breasts are big and guess what? I hate them. I almost myself in getting a breast reduction but my mother told me I should love my body, no matter what it look like so I just kept them the way it is.

Once John took off my shirt all the way, he stared. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see his reaction. Oh gosh, I feel so embarrassed. I'm wondering what John thinking. I opened my eyes, finding out he was looking at me.
"You're beautiful. You know that?" He then start kissing me and his kisses trailed down my neck. I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning. Then John kisses were going lower. Oh gosh, what is he doing to me? I need to get some control. I jumped off the table and pushed him toward my room. He was smiling as I was taking control. When we got to the hallway, I pushed him against one of the walls. I start kissing him, but he pushed me against the other wall, trapping me with his arms. I surrendered when he kissed me deeply and he carried me the rest of the way to my room. When he dropped me on the bed, he start unbuckling his belt while looking at me. His eyes was so dark with passion it almost scared me. Bill never looked at me like that when we made love. John was different from Bill in many ways.

When he took off his pants and underwear, I was awed. Right in front of me was a big hard erection. Man, I didn't know I had such an effect on him since it never happened with Bill. The only times Bill and I made love was when he felt like it and that barely happened. But for real, John's manhood is so big I was starting to get nervous. I guess John saw how nervous I was.
“If you don’t want to do this, I’ll leave.” John said as he sat beside me on the bed.
“No, I want to.”
I kissed him and he laid me down on the bed.
It felt good having John’s hard body against me. John then slid my underwear down. He unfastened my bra and took it off. John start kissing me everywhere starting from my mouth and down. It was so unbearable. I wanted John inside me now. Once he got to my womanhood, he stuck his tongue inside. That is when I lost it. I dug my nails into his shoulders, trying to keep myself calm. I knew I was drenching wet. Once John got back up, he kissed me deeply. I felt his hardness on my womanhood. I gave him a condom I had in my drawer and he put it on. I always make sure I’m safe. That is when it made its entrance. John filled me up. He then pulled out and put it back in. next thing I know, we were moving with a rhythm and it felt so good. John made sure he wasn’t squishing me. When we both climaxed, I screamed his name. It felt like I just died and went straight to heaven. John was shuddering until he was finished. John then kissed me and collapsed beside me. I laid on his hard chest. That was wonderful. I could hear John’s heart beating rapidly.
“Wow.” was all he said. I bet he was as amazed as I was.
“Why you said it like that?”
“To tell the truth, this was the best sex I had.” John kissed me on my head and running his fingers in my hair. I rolled on top of him and looking in his eyes. He looked like he was deep in thought.
"What you thinking about?
"I'm thinking about what is going to happen from here."
"I don't know. I'm just going to let the future lead me." I kissed him, then sat up and got out of bed. I put on my robe and went to the living room. John and I have left a mess. Our clothes are everywhere. Things was on the floor and pictures that used to be on the walls were on the floor or crooked on the walls from us bumping against the walls. I grabbed John's clothes, some were ripped a little, and I headed to my room.

Once I got back to the room, he was looking at the door like he was waiting for me.
"Um, here is your clothes. While you getting dressed, I'll fixed something to eat. Some of your shirt is kind of ripped."
I left out of the room so he can get dressed. I cleaned up everything in the living room. I put everything back on the table, straightening it out again and I took the grocery bags in the apartment. When everything seemed in order, I went to the kitchen to see what there was to cook. Erin was lucky because since she did not know nothing about cooking and I was an expert, I did all the cooking, and I was an expert, I did all the cooking around here. I saw some chicken breast and zuchini in the fridge so I decided to make baked chicken with steamed zuchini. I know there is rice so I'll make it with the meal. Just when I start cutting up the zuchini, John came out of my room fully dressed. I already had the chicken in the oven and the rice cooking so the kitchen had a nice aroma to it.
"Mm, what's that smell." John came into the kitchen to see what I was cooking. I told him the menu for today. He looked impressed.

When the zuchini was cooking, I turned to see John sitting in a chair, watching me. I gulped and cleared my throat.
"I hope you hungry because dinner will be done shortly." John got up from the chair he was sitting on and went to me. Now he is standing in front of me. He start rubbing my arm, sending goose bumps on them. I knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Yeah, I'm hungry but not for food." John then kissed me hungrily.
"No John, we can't. We're in the kitchen and the food..." I said in between kisses. John lifted me on the table, holding my hips. We start making out and things was getting heated. John dragged me closer to his body. Next thing I know, I hear jingling on the other side of the door. Shit, Erin's home. I push John away from me and I jumped off the counter.
"Act normal like nothing happened. Erin can see right through you so don't look into her eyes." I whispered as I pushed him out of the kitchen.

When Erin walked into the door, she looked at John, looking confused.
"Umm, who are you and what are you doing here?" Erin start going to the closet to get her bat. Man, Erin is crazy. John looked at me, panicked.
"No Erin. This is John, the man at my job who I was talking about. He was at the grocery store so he dropped me off at home. He staying for dinner." I said as I walked out of the kitchen.
"Oh." Erin start to relax.
"No, Iris. I won't be able to stay. I have to leave and spend more time with my sister because she would be leaving soon." I feel so embaressed of what Erin almost did. Now John wants to leave.
"Okay, I'll walk you out." John said bye to Erin and left out. When we got outside the door, John turned to me and touched my cheek.
"Sorry I had to leave. I didn't want to make things difficult and awkward. Well, I had a good time. I was wondering,..." I stopped him. Man, I knew I shouldn't have done this. It is so hard.
"John...I don't know." He tried saying something but he hesitated.
"Well, see you at work." John kissed me, then he turned and left. Some part of me wanted John to stay and kiss me longer but I knew that this was for best. Man, I hate myself. Why am I having these strong feelings for John already. I felt my lips. I could still feel John's lips on mine.

I walked into the apartment and found Erin behind the door.
"Erin, you are one nosy son of a bitch. Sorry." I said as I noticed that I just cussed.
"I know something else happened other than ya'll just sitting around. Spill it, Iris." Man, I Erin is so clever. I'm suprised she didn't become a detective.
"Nothing happened, Erin. Why you in my business anyway." I knew I gave myself up when I start blushing. That is when Erin face lit up.
"No ya'll didn't. Iris, did you guys..." I bit my lip and shook my head.
"OMG Iris, you guys had sex. tell me everything." I told Erin everything that happened today.
"Man, Iris. It sound like ya'll were meant to be today."
"No. Don't even think those crazy thoughts."
"Iris, come on. I know you you. I could tell you already have feelings for John already." That is when I start crying. Erin start looking concerned.
"I'm so sorry. It's just so scary. I'm having feelings for this man I barely know and I'm on the run from my crazy ex husband at the same time.
"Iris, it will be okay. I know you can do this. Just follow your heart and don't be afraid." Erin hugged me like a five year old. I loved the comfort Erin gave me.

After our conversation, Erin and I ate dinner, but Erin didn't eat the chicken because of her fast. After I took a shower, I went to bed. I start getting flashes of when John and I made love. I'm still longing for John. I'm longing for his touch and kisses. I wish I never felt this way because it is so hard. I have a feeling this will never stop.
Chapter 7

It has been two weeks since John and I made love. Sometimes when John comes by the office