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is when he near. The only time there seems to be any flow is when we are in close proximity to one another.

Even earlier today, as I watched him smoke that cigarette and the fire teasing in his eyes, I wanted to feel his mouth over mine. I wanted to be the instrument that he played. So, tell me Diary, why do I want to be in his presence? Why do I want to be where ever he is? I don't get it. I wonder if he'll ever get tired of me?

He seems so different than what he was before. He so much quieter than he used to be. He's not as dare I say- passionate as he used to be. Did I really suck the life out of him? Was the fact of him mother dying, and Nicholas death really kill who he used to be? I saw it in his eyes yesterday, that he felt inferior to Derrick. If there's anything I can say that hasn't changed, it's his eyes, the windows to the soul. He always allowed his emotions show through his eyes, so his body could be completely still, just as it had been at the restaurant, and I could read every emotion. With the exception that he gets severely pissed and then his eyes just cloud over with rage. That's one of those looks I wouldn't care to see ever again. I don't think I'd ever seen him as mad as the day I told him I was leaving.

I mean, the Lord knows, I'd gotten him really angry plenty of times before, but the storm that raged within his eyes during that moment turned them black. It got me so scared, I swore that was going to be the last time I'd ever breathed. But, no, he didn't kill me, he just provoked me by hitting me. If there is one thing that could shatter any fear, it was being hit. I had allowed myself to be controlled and abused by Lamont earlier in those years, but when I broke free, I promised to never again allow a man to yield that kind of power over me. It was in that moment I saw red and felt a pain that no matter how many times Lamont had hit me, it'd never come to the pain I felt when he hit me that one time.
Well, I know this is kind of an interrupted entry, but I must go, it's three thirty right now, time for me to go to bed, desperately.
That's all,
Denise~ Chapter Four


Two days later

Jordan awoke Thursday morning and went into the kitchen to roam the fridge. Leaning down into the icebox, he rummaged around to see what was available. Seeing that there wasn't much, he grunted and opened the freezer, it was equally bare. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he closed the fridge and thought of what he would eat. He didn't have much money, considering the fact that after paying his rent for that month, and the month that he would spend down here, he had bought a round trip plane ticket, leaving enough for the car rental. He was an idiot for paying the two hundred sixteen dollars for the car for the full week and insurance that cost an extra forty dollars to cover.

Now as he thought about it, he could have taken the bus system from Richmond to Hampton, hitch hiking in any areas he needed to. He made a mental note to file that away for next time he came to visit. Sighing, he glanced up at the clock. It was seven thirty in the morning, there was plenty of time for him to get to the store and back. Running up to his room, he opened the closet, pulled down a small leather pouch and opened it. He took out the twenty dollars he had left over, wondering what could he possibly get that would last while he was here. Peanut butter, Jelly, Bread, and sandwich meat. Although he didn't enjoy balonga too much, he'd have to make due. Sighing, he zipped the pouch back up and sat it back on the shelf in the top of his closet.

When Jordan made it to the supermarket, he parked his car next to a gray Toyota. Going inside, he glanced around to see all kinds of specials going. It was just his luck, that piggly wiggly was having a sell. Cruising the isles, he pulled off a pack of generic cheese for a dollar in the mini dairy section. Next to that, he pulled out a pack of hot dogs that were also a dollar, he pulled two packages of meat. Going to the milk aisle, he saw that the half gallon jugs were a dollar a piece.

Denise pulled into Piggly Wiggly, cursing her mom for making her get up this early in the morning on her day off and go to the deli, just so she could get some boar's salami and goat cheese. Sighing, she stepped out of her car and walked up to the sliding doors that were electronically activated. Stepping inside the cool air, she headed straight for the deli, fuming the whole way.

Jordan stopped at the deli, checking out all of the meats in his section. He could really go for some peppered turkey right about now. He hadn't had any since he'd left. No coleslaw, or anything that was native to his southern roots. Lingering just long enough to think about trading in a few miscellaneous items, but not wanting to completely starve, he moved on away from the section.

Denise arrived at the deli, just as Jordan was getting ready to turn up the nearest aisle. "Can I get three pounds of boar's head salami, a pound of goat cheese, and..." Now that she was here, she couldn't help but salivate over the Peppered Turkey. Along with the American Swiss cheese. She grabbed three pounds of peppered Turkey, and an equal pound of American Swiss. Sighing, she waited for the man to calculate her order, wrap up her package and hand it to her. Content, she walked up the aisle closest to her. A price tag catching her eye, she notice that a whole gallon of milk was at two for three fifty. Grabbing those, she took them with her. Five minutes later, she glanced at the items in her hands, knowing she needed a basket, but was unable to walk. Looking down one end of the aisle and then back up the aisle, she didn't see anyone who could offer help.

Jordan counted the items in his basket, taking the bare necessities, and wanting to put the others back. When confronted with the option of grilled cheese or milk to drink, he chose the milk. Getting irritated, he left the line and went to put the cheese back. Grilled cheese would have to wait another day.

It seemed the more Denise tried not to move, the harder it became to steady the items in her hand; milk, a jar of pickles, cheese, and etcetera. As she was counting the items, the jar of pickles slipped from her grasp and went to the floor with a loud crash. This caused the other items to loosen and slip as well. As she was trying to catch a loaf of bread, the cheese slid out from underneath and fell to the floor.

Jordan heard the glass break as it hit the floor, walking around the corner at break neck speed, he came to the visual of a woman kneeled down, her long hair falling over her shoulders and chocolate toned arms reaching out to catch them. A smile went to his face, as he walked faster to get to her before she lost everything.

Denise felt a hand reach under her, grab the items from her hand, mainly the heavy stuff, and take hold of them. Although this sent the other stuff toward the floor, she was able to catch it with free hands before it even hit. Inhaling sharply, she pushed herself up using her knees. Glancing down at her pair of brown Capri pants, she stared at the splash of pickle juice that had landed on the very bottom of them. "Great, now I'm going to smell like pickles."
"Are you alright?"
Denise glanced up at Jordan's face, a smile taking over. "Hey."
Jordan smiled back. "Fancy seeing you here."
Denise sighed, "I had to get a few things for my mom and got greedy."
Jordan laughed, referring to the mess, "I suppose that's what happens when greed takes over."
Denise sighed, "Yeah, come here to do some shopping too?"
Jordan nodded, "Just a few things." He nodded toward the items in his small basket. He didn't want to draw too much attention, so he pulled them away. Denise picking up on this, said, "I was just going to get a basket for my stuff."
"You didn't get one before you started?" Jordan inquired as they walked toward the baskets.
Denise shrugged, "No, I wasn't planning to get anything else, however I couldn't resist the sell; so now, I think I may as well get some other stuff while I can."
"Alot or little?" Jordan wondered.
"Alot I guess."
"Well, in that case, you're going to need a buggy." He stated, walking past the baskets and out to the buggies that were lined up against the store front. Denise pulled the buggy alongside her. Jordan took the other side, going along with her. "what about your stuff?" She inquired.
"They're already in the car. I just came back in to exchange the cheese."
"You don't have anything out there that's likely to spoil, do you?"
Jordan shook his head no, not wanting to leave just yet. Denise nodded, understanding. "Alright, well tell me something about yourself."
Jordan raised a brow. "But you already know a lot about me."
"That's from when we were in high-school, I'm positively sure you've changed."
"Not that much."
Denise pulled a package of cookies from a shelf. "Well, let's see when you left, your hair was long, you come back, it's short and spiked, you've grown a little goatee and not to mention the smoking habit."
Jordan sighed, "I started smoking because it helps me relax. I'm really tense a lot of the time."
Denise sighed, "Oh, do you still work out?"
Jordan glanced over at her, "You're really curious. I thought for sure you'd be mad at me."
Denise sighed, "Well, I was at first, but I realized that you were going through a lot and having been there through it all, I realized I should have been more understanding due to the circumstances. So, do you still work out?"
Jordan sighed, "Yes, at times. So you've decided to be nice to me because you suddenly realized I was dealing with a lot?"
Denise shrugged, "Jordan, I know sometimes I was confused about whether or not you loved me back then, but after a time of realizing it, I decided yeah, you were worth it. I could forgive you. After

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