PENALTY, Annika Sturm [best books to read for self improvement .TXT] 📗

Tom's lips hungrily, 'we need to get ready Tommy.' But Tom pulled him towards the bed. 'Relax.' He said lustfully as he started undressing his friend. Alex gasped and then simply gave in.

There was a knock on the door. 'Alex?' The boys stared at each other in shock. Tom immediately jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. 'Yeah?' Alex was trying to put on a relaxed voice. 'Can I come in?' The door handle moved down and Alex was unsure for a split second whether he had really locked it. Tom was staring at him and then at the door in horror. Alex exhaled quietly with relief and Tom had to sit down for a moment when the door did not nudge. 'Just a sec, what's up?' Tom had started getting dressed again and was now almost ready. 'Do you know where Tommy is? He is not in his room. And dinner is in 10 minutes. I'm just doing a quick head count.' It was their captain Markus. Tom pulled Alex up by his hand and hurried him into the bathroom. 'I'm here,' Tom opened the door casually, 'I did think it was time to get ready.' He giggled and left the room pulling the door shut quickly behind him.

Alex had to sit down on the bathroom floor as he heard the boys leave. His heart was racing and he was actually sweating. He took deep breaths as he was trying to calm down. 'Jesus.' He said quietly and had to laugh, still in shock. He slowly got in the shower and relaxed under the hot water. When he was dressed for dinner, he called Emma. They talked and made up and Alex felt relieved that he had managed to sort this out finally.

As he was about to leave his room, he heard a knock on the door again. He opened and saw Tom grinning at him. 'Ready?' Alex stared in disbelief. 'Tommy.' He hissed and looked over his shoulder checking if anyone could hear them. 'What?’, Tom shrugged his shoulders, ‘are you ready or what?', he winked at him. Alex took a deep breath and pulled the door shut behind him, 'you look good.' Tom whispered in his ear before he led the way downstairs into the hotel restaurant. They were pretty much the last ones to arrive and were greeted with abuse and loud laughter. Tom waved pretending to enjoy the noisy welcoming and Alex laughed behind him.

The boys were both seated at separate tables and chatted to their team colleagues. For them this was always a great opportunity to learn from everyone else's experience in their clubs and whilst for most of the year they were playing against each other, whenever they met, it was always fun to catch up and feel as one big family and team. Alex enjoyed his dinner and his friends' company and got fully immersed in the atmosphere. He let his eyes wander over to Tom every once in a while and smiled to himself seeing him happy and giggle with his friends at his table. Whenever their eyes met Tom would beam at him lovingly and Alex smile shyly.

It was getting late and the first training session was scheduled for the morning so everyone was keen to get an early night to demonstrate their best performance in front of the national coach the next day. The team's captain Markus had spent some time at each table talking to all the players and making sure he would know of any issues ahead of training. He reached Alex's table last and again spent some time talking to all the boys. Alex was busy checking what Tom was up to across the room and when it looked like he was about to retire for the night, he wished Markus would hurry up and talk to him quickly so he could leave as well. To his frustration it seemed Markus left Alex to last, though, so Tom signalled to him to call when he was done. Alex rolled his eyes and nodded.

'So how have you been?' Markus let himself slouch on a chair next to Alex as all the other boys happily moved on after their chat with their captain. Alex smiled wryly. 'Yeah, you know what it's like. We’re not in great shape at the moment, but I guess I’ll just keep working hard. See what happens at the end of the season.' Markus nodded. 'That's the right attitude Alex,' he patted his shoulder, ‘and how are Emma and Max?' 'Yeah. Great. Thanks.' 'He must be, what two now?' Alex smiled and nodded. 'Yeah, he is growing up fast.' He looked around and only just realised he was all alone with Markus in the dining room. 'Hmm,' Markus nodded, 'you wouldn't want to risk losing such a lovely family, would you?' Alex froze and stared at him. 'No,' he said hesitantly and frowned, 'of course not.' Markus took a deep breath. 'Alex,' he leant closer to him, 'I know what you and Tommy are up to.' There was a threatening tone in Markus' voice. 'What the hell do you mean?' Alex gulped looking him straight in the eye. 'You know what I mean.' Markus leant back in his chair. 'As a matter of fact I don't. You have to make yourself a bit clearer.' Alex was surprised at his own calm voice. 'Oh God,' Markus laughed, 'I was hoping we could talk about this without becoming too explicit,' he paused, 'that you fuck him.'

Alex was shocked. He just stared at Markus and decided to keep his bluff going. He laughed. 'This is a good joke! I like it.' Markus leant closer again. 'You know I wish it was Alex,' his face had turned serious, 'I am responsible for this team so let me tell you that this isn't the time or the place to experiment with some stupid temporary gay sex desires behind your girlfriends' backs.' Alex kept staring at him. 'This is ridiculous. What makes you think we are intimate?' 'You shouldn't snog openly in changing rooms, you know.' Alex took a deep breath and laughed sadly. 'Oh, I see. Who told you?' 'Never mind that,' Markus said quietly, 'Tom sneaking out of your room before dinner this evening didn't help your case.' Alex nodded. 'Is this what our conversation was meant to be about all along? Is this why you left me to last?' 'I had to talk to you at some point.', Markus looked at him seriously.

Alex tried to swallow down tears of anger. 'And has it crossed your mind that it's perhaps not just about me fucking him, as you call it, but that we are actually in a relationship,' Alex gulped, 'that we love each other.' He added quietly. Markus' roaring laughter to his response made Alex want to disappear into a hole in the ground. He was about to get up and leave, he had had enough humiliation for that night. 'Not so fast.' Markus pulled him back onto his chair. 'Aren't we done?' Alex hissed at him. 'Alex, you want to keep Emma and Max, don't you? And continue your career, right?' Alex tried to push Markus' hand off him. 'Are you threatening me?' He was getting so stressed and angry that he could have punched him but he kept his fist firmly under the table. 'Well. I wouldn't call it a threat,' Markus looked at him, 'I'd call it a deal,' Alex wished Tom was here and they could both beat him up together, 'let's be sensible about this. You finish this sick little gay adventure with Tom now and no-one needs to know anything about it. You keep your family and you can both continue your careers. And we just forget about it, okay?' Alex was breathing hard. 'And what if I don't?' He spat through his teeth. Markus shook his head. 'Then I'm afraid I will have to use more forceful measures to stop this. I wouldn't hesitate to tell the press about what's going on. And that would be messy, wouldn't it?' 'The press?', Alex shouted in disbelief, 'have you lost your mind man?' He had jumped up and was physically shaking.

Markus slowly got up and walked towards him. 'I don't want to do this Alex but you would give me no other option. I won't tolerate this, that's for sure.' He started walking off. 'And what do you expect me to tell Tommy?' Alex asked bravely. Markus stopped short and turned towards him. 'Just finish it Alex, make something up,' he looked at him, 'but if you tell him anything about our little conversation I will also tell the press. Is that clear?' Alex just stared. 'What?', he muttered, 'but I can't. I love him,' he took a deep breath, 'Markus, please.' He begged him. 'Nonsense!', Markus shouted, 'pull yourself together Alex. It'll be easier if you finish it now, trust me.' Alex stared at him again. 'You do realise you’ll break his heart as well as mine.' He whispered in tears. 'Oh he'll get over it. And one day you'll both thank me for it.' Markus walked out of the dining hall leaving Alex shattered to pieces.

Alex sat down in shock feeling alone and desperate. His anger was rising rapidly. He grabbed a water glass from the table and nearly smashed it on the floor. As he cried and gasped for air, he clutched the glass in his hand in frustration, so hard that it broke and cut his hand open. Alex cursed at the blood running on to the white table cloth. He pressed a napkin onto it but the cut was deep. He cried and cursed, totally lost as to what he was going to do next.

'Alex?', Alex turned and saw Tom smiling at him with gentle eyes, 'Jesus, I was looking everywhere for you. Why are you still...?', Tom stopped in shock when he saw the state Alex was in, 'what the hell is going on?', he stormed towards him and grabbed his bleeding hand, looking at his face confused, 'what happened to your hand? Alex, why are you crying?', Tom was full of concern now, 'what happened?' He whispered holding his head, kissing his cheeks before he attended to his cut hand. Alex stared at his friend silently in tears. He was desperate to touch him. 'Alex,' Tom stroked his hair trying to calm him down, 'tell me what is going on!' He sounded more assertive now. Alex stood up and walked away from him. 'I feel sick.' He muttered and tried to escape to the bathroom but Tom ran after him and managed to stop him. 'Alex, what the hell happened?' Alex was still crying and trying to stop the blood streaming from his hand as well as fending off Tom, who was desperately trying to hug him. 'Hey, hey, slow down.' Tom grabbed his head and rested his forehead against his friend's. Both boys were breathing hard now. Alex had his eyes closed leaning into Tom's forehead. 'Tommy.' He shook his head and broke free. He ran outside the dining room area, through the lobby, past reception and straight outside the hotel.

'Alex!' Tom was shouting and running after him but he gave up following him when he reached reception shaking his head in disbelief and worry. He took a minute to gather his thoughts and decide what to do next. Tom knew Alex needed help and he painfully realised he couldn't support him right now. As he cursed at this mess he was trying to think it all through. Finally Tom decided to talk to someone he could trust and who would take his friend seriously. Then he thought of just that person. Someone who knew Alex well and was one of his best friends in his own club. He ran straight towards his room.

'Felix,' Tom said as he knocked on