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that I choose to write in the future.

Next, below, is a brief collection of poems that I have written.

 

 

Book

We Were - on a Drive with the Windows Down…or - Satellites

 

 

Can you feel the air brushing your face?

Does it feel as refreshing and warm as it feels upon mine?

Is the melody strong in your mind?

Like an ode—to this night, and our youth, that flows, Captured in time

Can you see the rich sky, with star lights seeming infinite?

Clear, like lives—shining, yet one day to pass

When you feel me against you—a heartbeat, a breath

Can you feel our lives joined? Burning bright, fading fast…

Do you feel what I'm feeling?

Can you recall a moment you wish you could freeze, would that time would allow?

Can you wake when you're living a dream?

Can you know when your life's at its best? Can you realize it's now?

I Had - A Conversation…or - Schizophrenia

 

 

I shouted the voices down this time

I am ready to tell her the truth

I’ve rehearsed the words line by line

To make sure she won’t get confused

 

I’ll tell her the voices so often occur

That I don’t think my mind is my own

That I listen to them more than I listen to her

That I’m hounded by scores, yet alone

 

That the things that have happened have a cause

That my nightmares all feel real

That I’ve lost control of what I was

And I’ll tell her how it feels…

 

What it’s like when your mind is not in sync

To have to fight to speak

To quarrel ten voices just to think

To have to stalk and sneak

 

To know that it is not yourself

That haunts you in your soul

Not your psyche, but something else

That taunts you in the cold

 

To face a fearsome gallery

Of laughing, cackling foes

That crowd in nights to battle me

And live just to oppose

 

To never have a private thought

To never really sleep

To always feel watched—in a box

Your mysteries bare to see

 

To share these shameful secrets

With the worst things tucked inside

As they subtly use these defects

Close, to undermine your pride

 

To wander through the murky blight

When nothing’s as it seems

To struggle through each stricken night

No peace even in dreams

 

To know what fights your joy in life

But not escape for years

To think in discord, dwell in strife

And dwell within your fears

 

To never fully breathe a breath

When you could just be well

To fight until there’s nothing left

To spend life trapped in hell

 

And…

She’ll ask if I‘ve been healthy

And I’ll say that I’ve been fair

And she’ll have no words to tell me

As the silence fills the air

 

And she’ll say that I have quite the mind

And issues to address

That 10 milligrams should work this time

So silly to regress

 

She’ll say that my head has got me good

My inner thoughts are torn

And I’ll know she hasn’t understood

And I should try once more

 

But…

I just won’t want to start to

And there’s no place to begin

And there’s just no place to argue

Unless it’s with myself again.

What Could Be – or… - The Greatest Gift

 

If I told you that I loved you

But you couldn’t really see

You would have been so many things

But not have been like me

 

If you won’t return the favor

And my love will still be true

I will still be disappointed

But I will not be like you

 

If the world can’t be our play thing

If it will not let us grow

It will be a world that we can’t own

But not the world I know

 

If two people understood each other

Joined their souls within

They would finally share the greatest gift

And we can be like them

 

And if you will give your hand to me

And give me love and trust

Then I will return it ten fold

Not a thing will conquer us

The Folly of Formlessness or - Not Marching

 

 

“Give us a drummer!”

Through time and space, their pleaful cries rang out

Their wont – a beat to keep the time

They wanted reason, wanted rhyme

And thus a path was sculpted from their doubt.

 

When time became a burden hence

Constructed they a Godly fence

To shield His eyes from that which was Without.

 

And, gradually, it came to pass

Their overtures and machinations

As given way to new frustrations

Did come to be their sorrow unto last

And on the roads as they had laid them

They cursed and spat at He who made them

“What God is this to let such pain amass?”

 

And so their scribes, their wise and wizened

Pleaded to the God arisen

“What fate befalls the faithful and the fated?”

And answered He from down below:

“Was Mine not given not to know?”

And so the World became as they who made it.

 

And now the cries do cross expanse

And weep the women, weeps the man

Their spirits vague, with sin, their souls replete

“How foolish, we, to wax divine

When we weren’t given not given not to rhyme

While trampling That Which Gives beneath our feet.”

 

 

A Celestial Testimony to the Hidden One(s) That Might Be Listening if We Can Make Sound Travel Through the Vacuum or - Periscopes

 

 

We may naught know our life’s full beauty

That’s why we have to try the more

To sing out, loud, for that’s our duty

To add our strains to soaring scores

If all of space expands and freezes

Our voices’ strength will warm the day

If all the cosmos caves or seizes

Our anthem will illume the way

We might not last to see the end

And Earth and Sky may come to ash

Still we’ll lift up a joyous hymn

To seize remembrance at the last

So ‘ere the world we know goes cold

Or collapses in to trammel hope

We’ll make a song of all our souls

And pray for sound-wave periscopes…

 

Seasons of Experience

 

When vibrant yellow leaves beset the scene

And frost forms on the trees and blades of grass

The air is brisk and cool and all serene

Another autumn day has come to pass

When cold and crisp white snow falls to the ground

And icy crystals hang from rooftops high

The thick and shaded clouds form fluffy mounds

As you look upward to the winter sky

When clear, wet dew drops drip from branches green

And calls of singing birds float through the air

The warm spring rains wash all of nature clean

The world is sparkling—new and fresh and fair

But best are summer days traveled afar

And nights, with obscure dreams, lit up by stars

 

 

The Book, and Notes about it:

 

 

Hello. My name is Jason Miller. I have tried to write this book on three separate occasions. Today is the 12th of December, 2013, and it is my third attempt.

 

Jason Miller may be a pseudonym, but I am keeping that to myself for the time being. As I will write below, as of December 7th, 2013, I am a 32 year old former law student at the University of Virginia who currently resides in the United States, in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area. I hear voices, and I have heard them since 2008. I was diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder in 2009 and with schizophrenia in 2011, but, if I had been honest with all of the psychiatric professionals who I saw from the time that I started to experience symptoms, I probably would have been diagnosed with one or the other at a much earlier point in time. I have been interested in and investigating phenomena associated with schizophrenia since April, 2013.

 

 

There is a cure for cancer, and a cure for the HIV virus, and there is a cure for every disease known, as far as I know. I was informed that cancer is an alien virus that is given to human beings to test their will to live. The cure for cancer can be given by aliens, but certain powerful human beings, including members of the Illuminati, which is a real organization, and most likely the American CIA and NSA all have the cure for cancer.

 

They both probably also know the cure for the HIV virus. They have mind reading technology that can be used on both humans and on aliens, and the Illuminati, the CIA and the NSA all most likely have the cure for cancer.

 

I have been named as a member of the kingdom of God. This is the real God of all known creation. This may not persist, but I think that it will, and that means that I will have a powerful voice in deciding who gets an afterlife after their death. I hope that this is true, because I would try to be just and fair, and to give almost everyone an afterlife, except for the most grievous offenders, who would still be immortal and would be given afterlives, but might not be given the power to dictate what happens to other humans or beings or what they chose to do with their own lives. I don’t want people or beings to be allowed to harm other people or beings. I think enough of that has happened forever. That is my opinion. I also would want no pain or suffering that people or beings did not choose themselves to endure. This would mean an end to war and diseases, and an end to most pain that people and beings did not choose to endure.

 

War may still have to happen, we may have to fight for the rights that we seek to protect or for the rights or privileges that we seek to protect, but I would want for there to be as little suffering as there could be in the universe. We also might have conflicts, even conflicts that could turn violent, over other things, but I would, as I once again stated, want there to be as little pain and suffering in the universe as possible.

 

Magic exists, and I would want people who had earned the right through their work, endurance, or talent to be able to use varying amounts of this magic, which could be acquired, if I had my way, through being learned, earned, or bought, through various means, and it is truly magical and inspiring to see some of the things that can be done.

 

Machines have been designed that accomplish some of these magical things, and I suppose that someone who has bought one of these machines could be allowed to use it to do as they wanted to as long as it did not directly harm other people or beings. More machines may be produced and designed that can do more magical or awesome things, and those machines may be produced and used for various purposes too, as long as they were not used to cause harm to come to others, if it were up to me.

 

In my view, as long as people and beings do what they are able to do, and they earn most of the things that they get, there should be no problem with people or beings doing almost anything that does not bring harm to others. I would eventually want an end to all pain and suffering, at least in a conceivable afterlife, which I do think exists, but that is just something that I would like to see happen.

 

In a world purely of my design, peace, love, forgiveness and understanding would reign supreme for all people and beings. That is what I have to say.

 

I believe that the contact that schizophrenics have with real aliens, spirits, angels, devils, alien spirits, alien deities, free deities, and deities in general holds a key to many of the mysteries of life, that human beings have pondered throughout the ages. I do not know that others do not know this. I think that there is a body of humans, who are involved with the organization that

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