How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #1), DeYtH Banger [mobi reader .TXT] 📗

statement doesn’t address the original reason for why I believed I was unloveable.

 

 

 

How To Love Yourself: Why Doing Something Nice For Yourself Won’t Make You Love Yourself

 

The only reason why we don’t love ourselves is because we believe negative thoughts about ourselves or our situation. These negatives thoughts are what create our shame and sense of unworthiness or insufficiency. When we treat ourselves to something nice externally (spa, vacation, dessert etc.), we are basically saying “I deserve this”, “it is nice that I get to experience this”, “this is something I should give myself because I am worth it”. And that is completely fine. There is no problem with this at all. It can feel enjoyable to do these things. If you enjoy it, continue doing it.

 

 

 

How To Love Yourself

 

Now that we see why the 2 most common tactics for how to love yourself don’t really work, let’s examine how to truly experience love for ourselves.

The first question you have to ask yourself is “Why do I not love myself?”, “What do I not like myself?”, “Why do I feel unloveable?”, “What do I not like about my situation?”

We are generally so busy entertaining ourselves and distracting ourselves from our thoughts that we don’t allow ourselves to just be with our thoughts. And if we don’t see what thoughts are making us feel unloveable, then we certainly can’t address these thoughts.

Since negative thoughts about yourself and your life are what make you not love yourself, the answer to the question “How to love yourself?” is to address the thoughts that make you not love yourself. In order to love yourself, you need to eliminate the thoughts that make you feel unloveable.

 

 

 

What Thoughts Are Making You Not Love Yourself?

 

It may seem scary to look at why you truly don’t love love yourself. But, if you don’t look at these thoughts, if you don’t identify the reason why you don’t love yourself, you will just keep feeling the way that you do and going through life trying to make everyone else love you in order to help you love yourself. And that creates a lot of suffering.

For some of us, we might not love ourselves because we believe “I am unattractive”,  “my personliaty isn’t good enough”, “I am a failure”, “I am not successful enough”, “I am a bad parent”, “I am not fun enough”, or “I am not outgoing enough”. For other people, there is often no specific trait that we don’t like about ourselves. Rather, there might just be an underlying sense of unworthiness or unloveability.

You can have a look right now to see if you can find your reason. You can ask yourself any of the following questions: “Why do I not love myself?”, “What do I not like myself?”, “Why do I feel unloveable?”, “What do I not like about my situation?”

The answers might be very obvious to you, but it also might be very difficult to identify the reason or thought as to why you don’t love yourself. If you don’t want to do it right now, try to give some time toward this discovery process later on. And be patient with yourself. You can’t force it.

How to love yourself: Whatever thoughts are making you feel unloveable or unworthy, these thoughts pop up out of nowhere. You didn’t pick these thoughts. You didn’t choose them. They are not under your control. If you controlled your thoughts, you quite obviously would choose to never think negative thoughts about yourself. So this is not personal issue. Therefore, you can be gentle with yourself.

 

 

 

An Exercise To Discover That There Is Nothing Wrong With You

 

We tend to think that we feel insufficient because we ARE insufficient. We tend to think that we feel unloveable because we ARE unloveable. We tend to think that we feel lacking in our life because there IS something wrong with us.

But I would like to help you see how these assumptions could not be further from the truth. This will be the key in seeing how to love yourself. In order to help you do this, I would like to ask you to ask yourself the following questions:

1) Can I Escape My Unwanted Feeling When I Am Being Distracted From Thoughts?

How do I feel when I am being entertained? How do I feel when I am engaging in my favorite hobby? Do I feel lacking, do I feel unworthy, do I feel insufficient, do I not love myself in these moments? In the moments that we are having fun, we don’t feel unloveable or unworthy. In other words, when we are not thinking about ourselves (when we are distracted from thoughts), we don’t feel unloveable, unworthy, lacking, or insufficient.

If your feeling of unloveability was caused by you being unloveable, then you would continue to experience this feeling when you are simply distracted by thoughts. If your feeling of insufficiency was created by you being insufficient, then you wouldn’t be able to escape this feeling simply by distracting yourself from thoughts. If your feeling of lack was created by there being something wrong with you, then would still have this feeling even while you were being entertained.

If all it takes to eliminate your feelings of not loving yourself is to simply distract yourself from thoughts, then it must mean that your feeling of not loving yourself isn’t created by anything about yourself… but only created by thoughts about yourself.

If you would like to understand this concept better (to help you with how to love yourself), please download my free e-book below.

 

 

 

2) Is There Factually Something “Wrong” With Me, Or Does This Idea Only Exist As A Thought About A Fact?

 

Take a moment and ask yourself “What are the negative things that I think about myself?” Then, ask yourself: Does this exact as fact? Am I factually unworthy of love? Am I factually unattractive? Is my situation factually bad? Is there factually something wrong with me?

Can I touch these concepts? Can I see them? Can I hold them? Can I grasp them and show them to others? If it is a fact, is this something that can be seen by everyone? Where does unloveability exist? Where is my “bad” trait? Am I not good enough factually, or does that idea only exist as a thought? What are the facts, and what are thoughts about the facts?

It is not that you ARE unloveable or unworthy. It is not as though there is something wrong with you or you are insufficient. It is not as though you have any “bad” personality traits or “bad” physical characteristics.  “Bad” can’t exist as a fact. “Bad”, “not good enough”, “unloveable”, and “unworthy” can only exist as a thought about a fact.

Therefore, your experience of being insufficient, not loving yourself, or feeling like there is something wrong with you can’t be created by the facts of who you are, what you look like, how you act or what your situation is. These feelings can only be created by thoughts in your mind. So it is not as though you ARE unloveable, it is just that you sometimes feel this way when certain thoughts pop up in your mind and you believe them.

If you would like to understand this concept better (to help you with how to love yourself), please download my free e-book below.

 

 

 

An Exercise To Discover That Your Thoughts About Yourself Aren’t True

 

When you discover that your feelings of not loving yourself aren’t created by something about YOU, that can weaken the strength of these feelings, and possibly even free you from them.

But, in addition, once you see what thoughts are keeping you from loving yourself, then you can begin to question whether these thoughts are actually true. And when you stop believing a negative thought about yourself, it stops creating the emotion.

 

Take a moment to think of your answer to the question “What are the negative things that I think about myself?” Then, based on your answer, you can ask yourself the following:

Can I think of any reasons or examples as to why the opposite might be true? If the opposite could be true, can I be sure that my thought about myself is true? Could someone else have the opposite perspective? Could someone think that I am attractive, enjoyable to be around, and completely worthy of love? If other people could have a positive opinion about what I think is “bad”, can I be sure that my perspective is true? Does the “bad” quality about myself exist in every moment? Does it describe how I act or how I am in every moment? Am I always me? If I am always me, but yet this quality or characteristic doesn’t exist in every moment, then am I sure that it describes who I am?

 

 

Next Steps for How To Love Yourself:

 

The next time you begin to feel unworthy or not loving yourself, instead of pushing away or denying this feeling, instead of distracting yourself from this feeling, instead of telling yourself something positive and trying to convince yourself that you are great, look to see what thoughts are creating these feelings, look to see what stories are being told in your mind in that moment. And then question whether these thoughts or stories are true.

Once you see that these thoughts aren’t true, or that they aren’t real and tangible, or that these thoughts don’t mean anything about you, then you are free.

You won’t have a thought that says “I love myself” or “I am wonderful”. But you don’t need these thoughts to love yourself, you don’t need these thoughts to feel wonderful. Loving yourself is simply the absence of negative thoughts about yourself.

 

 

 

 

Note: The problem is the thoughts... what scientifically you need is a dose of distraction.

 

 

 

 

How To Be Happy In Life & Why You Aren’t Already Happy

 

Hello, my name is Noah Elkrief. And in this video I’m going to answer the question – how to be happy in life? Before I get to how to be happy, I’m going to explain why the most common ways to make yourself happy won’t work, and will often create a lot of suffering. This video is going to save you a lot of time and energy in your life pursuing happiness from things that can’t make you happy.

 

What we are really saying when we answer the question “how to be happy?”

 

Commonly, we think of happiness as: If I get everything to be good enough out there, then I will be happy. But that neglects the most fundamental question, which is, what makes me unhappy? If you think a relationship will make you happy, you’re saying the cause of my unhappiness is being single. If you think success will make you happy, then you’re saying the cause of my unhappiness is not having success. If you think having a big house will make you happy, then you’re saying the cause of your unhappiness is not having a big enough house.

 

What really makes you unhappy… thoughts

 

But let’s take a moment and really ask the question – what makes you unhappy? You may think it’s very complicated, there are all different types of things that make you unhappy. However, it’s very simple, very, very simple. And the answer is – thoughts.

Thoughts create your worries about others’ opinions. When you’re not thinking are you worried about