Brain on Porn (Social #1), DeYtH Banger [red queen ebook .TXT] 📗

this is by no means a comprehensive list, here are three tips to get you started on your way to fighting smarter.

 

1. Fortify your home base

 

The environment immediately around us – our own home – is, in most cases, something we have influence over. What happens, though, when the places that are supposed to be our safe-havens have become compromised by the exact thing that we’re trying to battle? It’s not uncommon for people’s own home environment to be full of all kinds of triggers.

So what are we going to do about it?! This is where you might need to make some tough decisions. For example, one person who had a struggle with porn for many years finally realized that his all-access-digital home environment was like an “alcoholic living in a bar.”  So he decided to make some changes that made his home more of a safe zone. New barriers that made it harder to access porn acted as a “massive deterrent” for him, setting up a system that he said, “worked in [his] favor.” Whatever you do, the key is to make your environment work for you, not against you.

 

2. Mobilize your allies

 

Addiction feeds on secrecy and isolation – and that’s one of the patterns common to nearly everyone facing this problem. Let’s be honest, trying to overcome this problem all by ourselves may well be the fast track to keeping this around in our lives for many years to come.

For most of us, pornography has driven us apart (to some degree) from people who care about us, and it may have even created some tension or resentment. Is it time to counterbalance that force? To move back in the other direction, to see our friends and family as allies, not opponents?We’re talking about that courageous moment when you sit down with someone close to you in full honesty as a potentially huge turning point in this path we’re all on. Trust us! Being open and honest will help you tackle this harmful habit so that you don’t have to live with skeletons in your closet anymore.

 

3. Deepen your other connections

 

Think now of all the people in your life – and imagine every one of those relationships deepening, expanding and strengthening.  What would your life look like then?  Are you open to giving it a go?

Obviously, getting free from porn would make a difference in the connections you feel.  That’s a no-brainer, but what we’re talking about here is something a little different – strengthening relationships around you as a way to step towards freedom. You see, as long as you are isolated and distant from people, you are that much more vulnerable to turning to this stuff again – over and over again. This fight for freedom is tough enough on your own, so why go it alone?  For many people, loneliness can be a huge trigger to use. So, simply by focusing on the relationships in your life, you can avoid being in situations that can pull you back into old habits.

Let’s be honest, recovery is not easy. There are moments where we all feel exhausted, frustrated, and discouraged. Sometimes, we just run out of motivation, and we feel like we’ll never get through this. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. We don’t need to have strength like the Incredible Hulk to recover from a pornography addiction; instead, we just need to fight smarter. By avoiding the battles that you don’t need to fight, you can save your strength for the ones that you do. Recovery is hard enough as it is, so why make it harder?

 

 

 Finding Your Reason To Fight Against Porn

 

 

 

Think about the first time that you saw pornography. How did you feel? For many people, that first experience with pornography was definitely not the last, and started a process of deepening usage that ultimately turned compulsive. Maybe you are at that point right now and you don’t know what to do. Don’t worry, you are not alone. We’ve had nearly 60,000 people in 150 different countries join Fortify since we launched the community in 2012. These are people who have fallen into a destructive porn habit and are now doing everything they can to break free.

Recently, we received a message from an individual who decided to share what prompted him to get porn out of his life. We asked permission to share his story here:

I first encountered porn when I was 11. I was shocked, excited, and very curious. So I kept looking. For seven years I looked for ever more unnatural and hardcore images and videos. I couldn’t imagine stopping and I didn’t want to. I had heard about FTND and how porn was an actual problem for relationships, but I never gave it any serious thought.

Then, one night, I was in my room. I had been looking at my Facebook feed and thinking about watching porn later, when I saw a pregnancy announcement photo shoot. The wife was surprising the husband with the news, and there was a photo of the moment the guy heard he was going to be a dad. He was crying tears of joy. That instantly brought tears to my eyes, because suddenly I knew that I could never have that if I kept up my porn addiction. I would never be able to love a woman without bringing in the filth that came with porn.

I realized then that I needed to fight. That I needed to end the tyranny of porn in my life so that love could live.

This individual struggled with a pornography addiction for years, unaware of all its subtle consequences on the rest of his life. All of that changed when he saw the happiness that real, sincere love could bring into his life.

 

 

Think about your own life experiences: What motivates you? What drives you to be better? When you get tired or discouraged, what thoughts or ideas push you to keep going? What do you love more than pornography? Who do you want to be in life?

Take some time today to solidify your commitment to freedom. Write down the reasons that motivate you to step away from pornography. In the Fortify community, we refer to these as “anchors” because they help keep you grounded in your commitment to keep moving forward and not giving up.

Remember that compulsive pornography habits don’t arise over night, and, unfortunately, they won’t go away overnight either. It will take time for those habits and cravings to lessen and vanish. Your brain is made up of millions of pathways that, to some degree, have been conditioned to want and need porn. Be patient, but persistent as well. Cling to those meaningful anchors in your life. The journey towards freedom is never easy, but we promise it will be worth it.

 

 

 

Note: My mum.. bought me a book which about how normal to relapses...

...

But ain't normal to relapse...


...

I should got in that day... a book how bad is too much... doing that.

 

 

 

Note: 

 

"Social anxiety, self-esteem


As users manage to abstain from porn, their desire to connect with others generally surges. Often, so does their self-esteem, their ability to look others in the eye, their sense of humour, their optimism, their attractiveness to potential mates, and so forth. Even those formerly suffering from severe social anxiety often explore new avenues for social contact: smiling and joking with work colleagues, online dating, meditation groups, joining clubs, nightspots, and so forth. In some cases it takes months, but for others the shift is so rapid that it catches them by surprise."


"Now that I look back at my life there has ALWAYS been connection between porn consumption, masturbation and my social anxiety. Before porn, I had a lot of friends, a couple of girlfriends, and I felt like I was on the top of the world. There was nothing that could bring me down. I felt like I had my own way to react to everything that could happen. Then I got a new computer... After a year or two I found myself in REALLY deep social anxiety, combined with too much pot and nothing interesting to do with my life. 
* 
I'm not your generic self-diagnosed socially awkward penguin. I've been to a psychiatrist, diagnosed with moderate to severe social-anxiety and was put on medication. I know about the adrenaline.


rush you get when a stranger gets near you, the almost heart attack you feel when you try to talk during a class or a meeting (as if you ever do), the long lonely walks you take not to deal with strangers, the unfounded shame when you look another person in the eye, the huge wall you put between strangers. Sweating, trembling, panic attacks, self hate, suicidal impulses, I've been through it all. I've been attempting quitting for two years now and this is the longest I've abstained. I no longer experience the ‘torture’ I described above. No I'm not a new person, not a social butterfly. I'm still myself but I'm free of the shackles we call social phobia. In this past two years I've made more connections, hit on more women, made more friends than I did in my first 25 years. I feel content and comfortable in my own skin, and the wall I put between myself and other people has crumbled."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 9.2 - Fake Life (Fantasies... Imaginations) [Part 2]

Note: "After 7-10 days without porn this feeling went away. My mind became very clear, thoughts easily controllable, and I became much more relaxed in general."

"Now, after no-porn, it's a pleasure. So easy and free. I have more words at my disposal, probably because my memory has improved in general. 
* 
Memory – I always had a good one, but quitting put it through the roof. I could enter a room of 15 people and learn + recall specifically all their phone numbers in under 5 min. Marks perfect. Social anxiety and BS negative thinking  – > out with the trash. 
* 
For those of you who are in uni, NoFap is a miracle for the brain. Before, I used to have to force myself to concentrate in class and would still end up ‘zoning out’. Now, I can concentrate in a 3-hour lecture with almost no issues (it's still improving)."

 

 

Note: "Depression, low energy, discouragemen


 
Scientists now view depression as a condition of low energy and little motivation. Recent research confirmed that the ‘go get it!’ neurochemical dopamine is the main player.[38] In fact, impaired/restored dopamine signalling may be behind many of the symptoms/improvements reported by recovering users. Again, I'll have a lot more to say about that in the next chapter:. 
I'm finding I experience depression and feelings of worthlessness far less often. I'm able to get up more easily in the morning and find the motivation to do the bloody dishes more often before going to bed. 
* 
I'm happier. Much, much happier. I typically suffer from SAD and was diagnosed with minor clinical depression a few years back, but

this autumn/winter I'm feeling great. I have more energy. 
* 
As a man with genetic depression, being porn free has done more for me than any drugs I have ever had to take. It is as if this makes me more alert, attentive, and happier than Wellbutrin, Zoloft or the other drugs I was cycled through."

 

 

 

 

Videogames and Porn causing a 'Crisis amongst