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it up if it's only a casual desire in your head — it's much more effort than it looks! It may not be worth relationship friction, in the end.

 

If, on the other hand, you're in a loving, trusting relationship and you want to have a threesome because you want to have a shared erotic experience, you're doing it the right way. Good luck!

If you're looking for a third and would prefer to try dating sites to asking someone you already know, these three sites might be a good fit for your quest:

 

XMatch

 

 

AskMen Recommends: This spot to make a quick connection is ideal especially if you and your partner have particular kinks you're looking to find a match for, as it's got a "kink directory" built in to facilitate finding people who share your specific persuasion of desire. 

Check out XMatch

FriendFinder-X

 

 

AskMen Recommends: Be aware, you need to be a paid member for all communication and much of the best features — adult videos, private model chats, gifting, all come with an additional fee. That being said, if you're looking to find someone down to experiment, FF-x is a good option.The site is fun if you're into cyber sex, you can even use the app to connect wireless sex toys remotely, bringing a whole level to the experience.

Check out FriendFinder-X

AdultFriendFinder

 

 

 

 

 

AskMen Recommends: This site — or, more accurately, network of sites — has been around for many, many years, making it one of the most popular options and featuring  one of the biggest membership databases. It also has advanced over the years, with more search and communication options than most hookup apps. This is a great site for chatting casually online, cyber sex, or arranging an in-person menage à trois.

 

 

How To Find A Third Partner For A Threesome

 

 

 

 

Maybe it’s your 40th birthday or you’ve been with your leading lady for 15 years. Or perhaps you’re both just curious and finally brave enough to give it a go. Whatever the reason for deciding to try to have a threesome, let us be the first to congratulate you on adding this (potentially) very hot experience to your sexual history. Even if it turns out to be a one-time thing, as long as you and your girl are on the same page about what it’ll mean (and what it won’t) for your relationship, it could be the rut-buster that brings some fire and energy back to your sexual routine.
 
But once you decide to go for it, where’s the best place to look to find that infamous third partner that’ll be the kink to your vanilla? (Or vice versa, if that’s your thing.) Selecting the right person to bring not only into your bedroom but your relationship can be a tall order and, well, a really big decision. It’s important that both you and your partner agree on whoever it is that will be touching, kissing and sleeping with both of you, and if you don’t know where to turn, don’t sweat. We talked to sex expert and commentator Coleen Singer on how to go on your threesome hunt:

 

1. Visit A Swingers' Club

 

If you’re still kind-of, sort-of on the fence about having a threesome at a hotel room or at your home, regardless if it’s with a stranger or a pal, a good first step toward multi-partner play is visiting a swingers club. You may be surprised to know that you won’t have to go searching to underground haunts, nudist colonies  or secret, speakeasy-like establishments to find a sex party.

 

As Singer explains, they’re actually easier to find than you think: “In addition to actual sex parties held at private homes, many swingers clubs also have informal social gatherings at local pubs or restaurants for those interested in the lifestyle but who would like to just test out the waters a bit first in a comfortable way,” she explains. It’s important to do your research and not go to a place that doesn’t have great reviews or impeccable rules regarding protection and inNCSA International to get started. This site is best for those couples or individuals who want to fully invest into this community, as its reputation speaks for itself. Once you’re accepted here, you’ll feel more comfortable exploring fantasies and meeting new friends who share your same kinks.

 

2. Look Online

 

While swingers clubs vary in price and can be affordable, an escort service will definitely feel like an investment. If you’re not quite financially able to throw a few cool thousands toward an evening of sex, Singer says to try shopping online — but with a lot of caution.

 

Googling “threesome dating site” will give you a big variety of results, and to make it easier to weed out the duds from the good experiences, Singer has a few tips. “The main thing to remember when it comes to any dating site is the reputation they have for fair and honest billing practices and iron-clad privacy protection (remember AshleyMadison, anyone?),” she warns.

 

With that in mind, here are some of the best hookup sites to look into:

 

XMatch

Best For: Joining The Community

When you’re first getting started, a simple turn on for you might be browsing through this robust database of folks of similar kink and fetish. Images are a bit appeal to this site and there’s also plenty of chatting going on, so you can dip your toes in without suggesting the rest of your body to follow — just yet. This site is also trusted among the swings community and known for its access to quick, fun and easy connections. So when you’re ready to make a move, there will be plenty of choices to get you started.

 

Check out XMatch

FriendFinder-X

Best For: Newbies

Before you raise an eyebrow at the PG-rated name, rest assured that this site is anything but missionary position. In fact that added ‘X’ at the end of the name speaks volumes. This is considered the go-to website for many within the swingers community, mainly because it’s about as open-minded as you can get. Here, you can chat about your fetishes ad nauseam, or actually meet up in real life for a sexual encounter that fulfills your fantasy. This pick is best for those who are a little nervous about exploring their fantasies and want to ease into the experience slowly. You can take your time to meet new folks and enter into the “real word” at your own pace. The choice is yours, the orgasm is up for grabs.

 

Check out FriendFinder-X

AdultFriendFinder

Best For: Couples

Another sexy choice for your threesome partner search is this appropriately named website. Also a trusted destination by the community you’re seeking to join, you can browse through profiles, find folks who have a shared X-rated interest and much more. With an easy-to-navigate platform, you won’t have to waste too much time searching for what you need, but instead, you’ll be able to source and spot those who are looking for what you’re looking for, and get the conversation revved up ASAP. Much like its less-intense pal site above, this website might be better suited for couples. To truly ensure that you both have your needs met, make use of their large database; it will add a new layer of eroticism to your relationship.

 

Check out AdultFriendFinder

 

3. Make It Happen

 

Once you’ve found the site that works best for you and your partner, how do you get started? Here are some basic steps to turn up the heat and find that threesome you’re both dreaming about:

 

Step 1: Set Up a Profile

 

Depending on what you want out of the experience or what you mutually agree upon as a couple, you’ll have to decide if you want to set up a couple profile or an individual one. The perk of an online dating profile made for two is that the threesome partner can easily figure out if they’re attracted to what you mutually offer, without having to be introduced to another half at a later date.

 

Step 2: Pick the Right Photos

 

Into S&M? Or maybe like foot play? How about role play? Whatever your shared kink, make sure your photos illustrate what gets you both turned on and ready to roll around. Though it’s okay to have a few individual shots — especially ones that show off your bodies — it’s also a smart idea to have couple images, so a possible joiner can see how you interact with one another.

 

Step 3: Send a Message

 

Once you both find someone you both find attractive, it’s time to get the conversation moving! Your opening message shouldn’t be too strong or too subtle, but a perfect balance in between. Most online dating experts suggests beginning with a statement - preferably one that’s complimentary or comments on a shared interest — and ending with a question, to provoke sexy banter.

 

 

 

Chapter 5 - Let's Talk

Signs She's Willing To Have A Threesome

 

 

 

A threesome is arguably every man’s ultimate fantasy. But making that fantasy a reality is no easy feat. So how can one determine whether the person they’re in a relationship with would ever be open to one? I personally have know idea. That’s why I’ve reached out to somebody who does know.

 

The person I spoke to was Chris Maxwell Rose, an independent sex educator and one of two founding members of Pleasure Mechanics, a website that serves as a vast electronic library of sexual knowledge, the riches of which are shared through online classes taught by both Rose and her partner. When it comes to threesomes, you could say Rose wrote the book on it. Because, well, she did.

Using the knowledge from her comprehensive guide, How To Have A Threesome, we’ve compiled some key traits to look for in a partner who’s willing to have a threesome — because if she isn’t, results can get ugly. Let’s make this fantasy happen, guys!

 

1. She’s Open To New Erotic Adventures

Before you even consider a threesome, you should probably take some baby steps prior. By doing this, you can better gauge her interest. “Whether it’s bringing new toys into the bedroom or having sex in the great outdoors, try a few adventures that are just for two before considering bringing a third on board,” Rose says.

 

2. She’s Willing To Share Fantasies

“The first step towards having a great threesome is talking about it in explicit detail,” Rose begins. “Flesh out your fantasies together and see where your desires overlap. If she can’t talk in dirty details, she’s not ready for the real thing.”

 

3. She’s Willing To Watch Porn

“Not all women are into porn — but if she’s down with watching porn together once in awhile, it’s a good sign that she’ll be up for a threesome,” Rose point outs. For best results, Rose advises you let your lady be in charge of the pornographic material and have her compile a sexy playlist (“Try feminist porn or amateur porn,” she suggests) and then discuss what you both find hot as you watch. This will frame the fantasy and give you some ideas to play around with.

 

4. She Wants To Take Baby Steps Towards a Threesome

“In our book How To Have A Threesome, we outline several baby steps (as mentioned earlier in this article) towards a full-on threesome so you don’t have to risk it all at once.” So instead