How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #4), DeYtH Banger [ebook reader screen .txt] 📗

But if you're reading this book you probably realize that chronic use of a supernormally stimulating distraction is a Faustian bargain. Eventually, it can take a toll on your goals and wellbeing."

 

 

 

 

"Be gentle with yourself 
Those who reboot with relative ease keep a sense of humour, accept their humanness, love sex but respect their sexuality, and gradually steer themselves into a new groove. They don't bludgeon themselves, or threaten themselves with doom."

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5.1 - Insights (Part 2) (Porn)

 "Rebooting can be a mighty challenge, and it helps to find a well of inspiration to draw from on a regular, even daily, basis. Maybe you frequent an online forum where there is lots of encouragement. Maybe you have a favourite philosopher or spiritual book you find soothing and uplifting:"

 

 

 

 

"As explained, our brains evolved to strive for neurochemical balance. If we chronically bombard them with intense stimulation, they mute neural signals by reducing sensitivity to neurochemicals like dopamine. Chronic overstimulation can thus lead to a zombie-like numbness to pleasure and emotion. Daily life can seem dull and pointless. 
Yet when we remove the exaggerated stimulation, numbness gradually reverses itself. Mood swings are often the first sign that something is shifting."

 

 

 

"Gradually, colours return, enthusiasm increases and stability reigns. In his TEDx talk: "The Pleasure Trap", psychologist Doug Lisle gives examples of how overeaters can reverse food cravings with periods of fasting or juice-only. The same principle of increasing sensitivity by removing overstimulation applies to all natural rewards, including masturbation to internet porn."

 

 

 

 

"The first week I had the worst type of insomnia imaginable. I don’t remember falling asleep at all the first 6 days. In my mind, it made Hell Week of Navy SEAL training look easy.
During the weeks that followed, things started turning around a bit but really became noticeable after about 3 months. I actually started getting energy to do things. 
Some people had no reason to suspect withdrawal would be so agonizing: 
Not having had a major porn problem, I assumed the benefits would be marginal. But if you think you don't have an addiction, try stopping and see what happens. In my case, a period of quite punishing withdrawal symptoms. They lasted for at least a month. Something was clearly profoundly affecting me neurochemically, as within a 24hr period I might experience the extremes of a kind of shimmering, exultant."

 

 

 

 

 

"Less common, but not unusual, symptoms include: frequent urination, shakes, nausea, tension in the chest creating difficulty breathing, despair, hot flashes or feeling cold even in front of a fire, overeating or loss of appetite, unaccustomed wet dreams, semen leakage when using the toilet, and fullness, pressure or aching in the testicles (cold water helps)."

 

 

 

 

"Whatever its origins, the flatline is definitely weird. Prior to high-speed porn, cutting out porn use was not associated with a severe, temporary drop in libido.  
If you're having porn-related sexual performance problems, should you tell your partner? Many guys report that it really helps to educate a partner about the flatline and its causes. Here's a 23-year old woman whose boyfriend of the same age needed 130 days to return to normal..."

 

 

 

 

"But states of mind can also be triggers: boredom, anxiety, stress, depression, loneliness, rejection, fatigue, frustration, anger, failure, feeling sorry for yourself, desire to reward yourself for an accomplishment, overconfidence, jealousy, and being hung-over.  
Procrastination also triggers many a relapse. The result has been dubbed ‘procrasturbation’. Keep a list of things you want to accomplish as well as a list of risk-free activities for those moments when you just don't have the motivation to do something productive."

 

 

"The bad news is that trigger-pathways sometimes stay around for a long time, even after you are otherwise fully rebooted. They do weaken. For example, an alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years may no longer be triggered by beer commercials. Yet if he drank a beer his sensitized pathways might light up causing him to lose control. Similar things happen to former porn users. They become immune to cues that were formerly risky, but if they use porn again they may binge."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5.2 - Insights (Part 3) (Porn)

 "My biggest problem was always lying in bed with my iPhone. Definitely an easy access trigger. I also used porn almost exclusively at night. What I do now is at 11 pm, I shut down all electronics. I put my laptop in my closet, set my alarm on my phone and put it far away from my bed. Then I go wash my face, brush teeth, etc. I then journal or read until I'm tired. This takes away all triggers and temptations. Instead of leaving my mind to wander I am engrossed in a book. 
When you feel The Urge, ask yourself: 
- What emotions I am feeling? 
- What time is it?"

 

 

"In the end, such a focus will also serve porn users. Like smokers, they will be able to make informed choices about.

pornography use with full knowledge of its risks for plastic brains like ours. 

We are what we repeatedly do.
Aristotle"

 

 

 

P.S. - I just need little time just to see what really happen, I had fun... I was using some cool tricks but in the end I didn't got new phone numbers of girls + few girls... even rejected me of not giving me their phone numbers... I just need time to comprehend the whole shitty thing.

Chapter 6 - LeT's TaLk

 Note: I study shit like... "Why one good going conversation... get trashed?"
...

We have been talking about conversation in whole 3 volumes... and the game continues new... rules... and I still don't get it... how some guy screw me up with a phone call!?

...

 

 

 

 

 

Friday Night Inspiration – The Spirit of Discipline

 

Ok, it’s Friday night again and time for some inspiration. This one is simple but incredibly profound.

A few weeks ago, I heard from a friend who is an absolute monster when it comes to many aspects of his life. This guy is an athlete, runs a successful business, eats a very disciplined diet and still has enough energy to have a pretty wild social life.

And I wondered, how does he manage to achieve all those things at once?

And he told me:

“The secret to my success is discipline. And the secret of discipline is that, I’m thankful for the discipline that I exercise every day..”

“It’s like there’s a spirit of self-discipline inside of me, and I believe I strengthen it by thanking it when it leads me towards my higher purpose”.

That kind of blew my mind….

I’ve always believed that if you want more of something, the first step is to show gratitude for what you already have, but I never really applied that approach to discipline.

After all, I think most people think that discipline is something outside ourselves, something we can’t quite control. It’s certainly not something that we can increase simply by something simple like giving gratitude.

But when you think about it, it makes sense.

Imagine you’re with a personal trainer.

At the end of a particularly tough workout, do you say “That workout was exhausting. Thank you so much for doing a good job! That’s what I hired you for!”

Or would you be more likely to say something like “That workout was exhausting… maybe we should take it easy next time”.

If you say the first thing to your trainer, next week you’ll get another tough workout.

And if you ask your trainer to take it easy on you, you’ll probably get an easier workout next time. A less disciplined workout.

So a personal trainer would respond to gratitude by giving you more discipline – why wouldn’t your own mind respond the same way? Why wouldn’t the spirit of discipline, the part of you that wants you to grow and get better and contribute more to the world, respond the same way to the same sort of talk?

So go out this weekend, experience some adversity, exercise some discipline, and be grateful for it.

And see if that strengthens that spirit inside of you.

 

 

 

What To Do When She Says “I Don’t Give Out My Phone Number”

 

 

 

Tell me if you’ve ever had this one happen to you.

You meet someone, it’s going great. You are having a nice conversation. There is chemistry. 

And then you ask for her phone number. 

And she says “I don’t give out my phone number“. 

Really? REALLY?

Who doesn’t give out their phone number? 

I mean, what is a phone number FOR if not to give out? You know, so people can call you… 

Now, strictly speaking, “I don’t give out my phone number” is often not really a congruence test. But it is an obstacle that you can overcome if you handle it right. 

First, let’s talk about why women might say this to you .

There are a few reasons. 

First, she might be saying it because she really has some rule about giving her phone number out at bars for some reason.

Second, she might be saying it because she likes you but feels awkward giving out her number for some reason. 

Third, she might be saying it because she actually just doesn’t like you and is trying to blow you off politely. 

So, what do you do? 

Well, don’t just jump to reason number three and give up. 

Some women actually do have a rule about giving out their numbers at bars. They usually made that rule after accidentally giving their number out to some random guy who called her 18 times the next day. 

If you establish that you’re not that kind of guy, you might get her to change her rule. 

And a lot of women feel awkward about giving out their number, even if they like you. In that case, you want to take the pressure off while still making