Emily, Mihajlo Stojanović [paper ebook reader .txt] 📗

Amy

Dear Amy,

I'm writting this to tell you that I'm still in love with you and that I'm sorry I had to break up with you. I should also tell you that there's no need for you to blame yourself for that. No, you're the one to be blamed for everything we had and I'm the one to be blamed for everything that we've lost. We were trying to sail away from this cruel world, hoping that we'll find a better world to live. Unfortunately, I was the one to say that we won't be able to find that world together. I thought that loneliness would help me get out of everything that made me sick in the final round of our game. But it didn't. No, it just gave me more burden to bear!

Have I ever told you about me first seeing your eyes? I think no. You know, for me the eyes are the ones that define how the girl looks both outside and inside. Oh those beautiful eyes of yours! I think I'll never again meet the girl with the eyes like those. I was always wondering how they could be real. I thought I was just dreaming all those times we had with each other. Before I met you, I could only dream about the smell of your hair which was able to make me fall asleep every time I sensed it.

I was impressed by all the parts of your body, but what's the most important, I was also impressed by the soul which was laying inside them. Because you live in a far-away land, everyone thought that our love wouldn't last so long. But you made them regret that even came up in their minds. You survived the most dangerous moments of people's lives and still stayed on top of the world. And also brought me with you. Well, it's not that every girl would do that for me. Neither one of them would, I'm sure.

Well, I think that it was quite enough said about those good moments that we had too many during our living apart, but together. Let's focus for a while on the other sides of those times. I know, they didn't have so much influence in you. In fact, all the burden you had to bear was made by me breaking up with you. And I'm saying again that I'm sorry for that. I didn't know where my mind was those days. But I think that just two or three sentences won't help you see what I was going through those times, so I'm going to write you everything that comes up to my mind. Read on if you want to find out what the main reasons for my betrayal were. And I promise you now that everything you're going to read is true.

A girl on a swing

Yes, Amy, I am going to write you about some other girl. But here I promise you that there was nothing between us except friendship.

Well, I think that I have already told you some things about her. You know those stuff like how I met this girl, right? You know, the girl who I saw sitting on a swing and not swinging. I told you once, I think, how some other girl, who I've recognized from before, but much younger than the three of us, sat next to her and talked to her for a while. And then just dissapeared. I have been doing some other stuff, so I wasn't really going to sit on the other swing and talk to her, but then I realised that it would be better for me. I thought maybe that would make it clear what was going on.

So I sat next to her. Her head hasn't moved a bit. I was wondering whether it was the right time to be so close to her. Then I tried to start a conversation with her:

Hey!

Hey! she answered.

Silence.

My name is Emily. she said finally. Yours?

My name is Evan. I replied.

She still didn't move her head a bit. I was wondering what that was supposed to mean. I thought she just didn't want to talk to me. But then I realised I was wrong when she finally tried to continue our little conversation:

I am about to turn 18 years old. I will no longer be just another child in this world.

When?

In a few months.

Well, that day isn't really near.

To me it is. I've been thinking of my 18th birthday every day since I turned 17. I just can't believe that I survived 17 years.

She seemed to be happy, but there was something in her words that just meant the opposite.

I don't really know why, but I started to believe that she was really happy.

So, how is your life? she asked me.

Not so bad, but not so good either.

What do you mean by that "no so good"?

Well, I don't really love to live here. I have a girlfriend and I know she loves me so much, but she lived in a far-away land so we don't have pretty much time to see each other.

She loves you though. She must be really good for not betraying you. How long have you two been together?

2 years until now.

Well, that is a long-lasting relationship, I see. I don't really know about relationships so much, but I can tell something because I love to listen to romance radio dramas. I don't think that's enough though, because I have to have my own relationship if I want to know enough about the relationships of other people.

You say that you've never had a boyfriend.

No, I haven't. But you said your life doesn't really go so well. What do you mean by that?

It's all because of the other people. I don't know why I even hang out with them. They could be so cruel sometimes. But sometimes they are like my best friends.

They're lying when they're saying or acting like they are your best friends. In fact, if they were your best friends, they wouldn't be so cruel to you anytime.

Maybe you're right.

Well, I'd love to be "maybe" right.

Silence. Then I hear her voice again:

I have to go now. It's late.

Late?

Yes!

But it's only 15 o'clock.

I know. I'll be glad if we meet again. Bye!

Bye!

By then I didn't know what to think. It was like everything was weird enough to make me feel like dreaming.

But I knew I wasn't dreaming.

Again on a swing

Two weeks have passed since I saw her. I thought I would never see her again. I started to feel like she doesn't want me to talk to her again or even meet her.

That day I was sitting on a swing when she came to me. She was kinda searching for the swing in front of her. She could barely find it. I didn't care about that though so I wasn't really thinking about it when she finally took her place and sat down on the swing next to mine. Why I didn't care - well, I've got a reason for that but it's stupid. I didn't care about that because I cared about something else - talking to her about my problems, which she could solve correctly.

I called her name and she called mine. Then I said:

Hey, I've got something to tell you, if you don't mind.

Why would I mind? You're my friend. You can tell me whatever you want and keep other stuff as your own secrets if you want that.

Then we talked about these problems.

And everytime I saw her, we would talk about my problems. I found that she was a really good girl who I could talk to about my problems anytime I meet her.

What fascinated me everytime was how easy those problems seemed to her. It was like she had got her own problems which were more difficult to solve.

I wanted to meet her every day of my life.

She introduced me to her parents when they came to us and they also seemed really good in a first place. She told me then where she lived and that I could call her anytime I wanted to hang out with her.

And so I did. I called her every day. And every day we were talking about the same things, but we weren't bored. She was one of the rare people who were good to me.

Then I started to talk to her about you. Everytime I did so, she seemed a bit nervous. I thought it was because she hasn't ever had a boyfriend - which she told me earlier. But even though she didn't have any experience on that side of life, she was really good at talking to me about that. I told her that you and I have seen each other only once and then stayed connected by phone lines and social networks. She seemed to know exactly how difficult it is for me to protect our relationship from the distance as our enemy.

But the last day always comes when we don't expect it.

Another and last time on a swing

Well, I didn't know that this would be the last time I met Emily on her swing. At first, it was just another ordinary day.

But, what wasn't really good was that her mood wasn't very good while we were talking. She asked me if I had some problems in my life and we talked about them. Also, we had some time to talk about music and movies and literature. For the first time. That topic was started by her:

What music do you listen to?

Well, mostly I listen to some old rock songs.

Rock?

Yes.

What bands do you like to listen