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to that, I wanted to be pissed because what he was doing to Karli… I wanted to slap him and yell at him… but I couldn’t. “Luke… I’ll see you tomorrow in school.” I walked over to him and gave him a hug. I turned around towards my house and he still hadn’t moved. I walked back to him and kissed him on the cheek. "goodbye." i whispered.

I walked into my living room and sat on the couch. There was already a text from Lukas. Not that I was surprised. But I wasn’t in the mood to text… or was it just him I didn’t want to talk to? Oh well. I still read the text message. It said andi please call me. I went against myself and dialed his number. I was sure I was going to regret this, majorly.

“Hello?” I took a deep breath, I know part of me didn’t want to talk to him, but then there was always that part of me that was dying to talk to him. “I see you got my text.” I was so close to hanging up and he hadn’t even done anything. “ya I did Lukas. Why did you send it?” he said something about us talking about what happened earlier I think, so I just continued with an ok. He started talking but I wasn’t really listening. I heard him say something about him wanting to kiss me again if that would be ok. He fell silent and I had no idea what the last sentence was he just said. I told him I had to go and hung up.

Over the past few weeks I seen him at school and he would smile and wave, so I smiled and said hey without stopping to say another word. The whole part of him being my ex, was my moving on from him. But truth was, I loved him and everything was just fucking complicated.

See karli was my step brothers ex. They still managed to be friends after her using him. I still don’t get why he forgave her, then again… I don’t get why I forgave Lukas… or why I was still in love with him for that matter. It was about 4:00 on a Thursday I had planned on going with Lukas to his house before we broke up. It would be about 5 months we were together… but hey love just doesn’t last. I walked into my room with a heavy sigh; I throw my bag on my bed and headed to get a shower.

I stepped out of the shower, the freezing cold air biting at my skin. I slid on my clothes and walked in to my room to grab some eyeliner and eye shadow, I always had to have on my eyeliner. It made my eyes beautiful. Not to mention, without eyeliner, I looked like… well there was no nice way of putting it. Without eyeliner I looked like shit. When I stepped in to my room there was a figure sitting on my bed. I didn’t know who it was until he turned with a smile. I yelled and ran over to him. “Codi!” he laughed and stood up to hug me tight.

“Andi!” he laughed at my reaction even though he had the same one. Codi was my amazing step brother; he has always been there for me… through everything. That was until a couple years ago when he just left without a goodbye. Literally he just walked out of the house one night and I stopped seeing him. I didn’t know if he was alive or dead.

“I missed you so much!” I stopped and continued to laugh. If there was one person who could make me laugh when I was so sad that all I wanted to do was cry that was Codi.

“I missed you too Andi!”

It took me a minute before I thought of the next thing to say. “Codi man, brawh you know I love you.” I started to laugh. “How the fuck did you get in my house? Let alone my room?”

He laughed and pointed towards the window. “I could of broken it you know, you left it unlocked, hasn’t anyone taught you how unsafe that is?!?” it was funny, he was back to acting like my father. He used to dress up in my fathers ties and shoes and walk around bossing me around, it pissed my father off because he knew we were mocking him.

“That’s kind of creepy bro.” it was funny. How I had missed this boy.

“Well you know me.” He said with an evil smile. I used to know him, but not as much.

We continued to talk about what his life had been like over the years that he had left and not a single one of us had heard from him. After awhile he stood up with a frown. “Well I have to go Andi, I’ll be back soon. Before you even get a chance to miss me.” He hugged me goodbye and I turned to go finish applying my eyeliner when he came up behind me and started tickling my tummy. He knew how ticklish I was, I always had been. He continuously tormented me when we were younger.

I was bored so after I finished with my eyeliner I jumped on my laptop, there was nothing better for me to do. I typed in my email and password and tried to log in. I hated how they had it set up, why didn’t they just tell us which one was wrong instead of making us type it all over again? Damn ive been getting really irritated lately, and over the stupidest things to. I decided to log into face book again before I decided to punch a hole in my computer screen. Is it obvious, my fucking life sucks! And no I am not saying that because face book won’t let me log in. I was saying it because I am still in love with Lukas and I could hate myself more for it.

Luke called me over and over again and I continued to ignore his calls. I was basically killing myself to get over this boy, and he’s making it impossible because he won’t leave me the fuck alone. I got logged into face book and took a deep breath I was on edge and I didn’t even know why.

There was 5 notifications and 3 messages. And of course all the notifications had something to do with Luke. I clicked on the first one which said Luke w commented on your photo.


I wasn’t in the mood to have anything to do with him, so I just slammed my lap top closed, fighting the urge to throw it at the wall. See what he does to me!? It was about 10:30 I was tired as fuck, and I wasn’t going to skip school tomorrow so I decided to go to bed. I climbed under my covers and cuddled Luke’s penguin… it smelled just like him. I started to cry. I cried myself to sleep.

I wake up to an obnoxious pounding, which sounded like it was coming from the living room. I lay up and looked at my clock. Are you serious? It was only 3:20. I close my eyes and try to ignore the pounding but it doesn’t stop. I throw my blankets off of me and stand up. I sleepishly walk to the door and open it. Guess who was there. Ya Lukas.

I stepped aside and let him come in. he glanced down at my booty shorts and smiled. It was fucking 3:20. I was not amused. “What do you want Lukas?” I didn’t bother to hide the ignorance in my voice.

“I remembered when we first broke up, you told me if I ever needed to talk that you were for me, no matter what time it was.” I felt bad and my heart softened up. He was right I did say that. And it wasn’t right for me to be treating him like shit because he was still… my friend.

I sat down on my couch and crossed my legs. “Ok Lukas, you proved your point… I did say that. Is everything ok?”

He slowly glided beside of me and started to cry. “No Andi, nothing is ok. I miss you so much! Karli is just some girl that I don’t want to be with, you’re the girl that I want to be with but…. But I ruined that... and now were both in pain and crying all the time. I know you say everything is ok… but I know it’s not… Nothing is ok!”

“Lukas what makes you think I still cry for you?” I wasn’t sure why I was being such a bitch to him. He honestly didn’t deserve it… But hell I didn’t deserve to be cheated on, now did i?

He rested his hand on my knee and looked me in the eyes. “I know you were crying because your make up is smeared all the way down your face, and I know you were crying for me, because I remember when you said you would never cry for any one else ever again.”

Damn he was good. “Luke that doesn’t matter. I’m always going to cry for you. That’s never going to change.” I could see the tears sting his eyes.

“Andi… I don’t deserve your tears.”

He did…

Lukas<3
All hail the heart breaker that would be me. i am the breaker of Andi Leigh Morison’s heart. She gave it to me to hold on to, protect and keep safe… instead I took it and cracked it in half; I still don’t understand why she doesn’t hate me. Fuck I hate me. Well I’ve always hated myself, but now I hate myself more. Andi deserves so much better, that’s what I always say and it’s always going to be true… but I don’t want her to cry for me any more.

I don’t know why I showed up here. Before I left my house this morning, I said tonight I will walk to the one I will never stop loving. I started walking and something pulled me towards her house, and that’s where I stopped… and that’s where I knocked…and that’s where she answered the door.

I didn’t want to be with Karli anymore. I just wanted to end us. We weren’t happy with each other. She would much rather fool around with the star football player. I was ok with that. I honestly didn’t care who she fucked. Right now I didn’t care what she did. I was going to kiss Andi. I leaned over and kissed her. Expecting her to pull away but instead she turned her body towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Like she always has. I wasn’t going to let her go this easily.

I guess finally the thought that I was dating Karli rammed into her head because she pulled away and ran outside stammering I’m sorry. I didn’t want her to apologize every time she kissed me. If me and Karli broke up then whatever.
I honestly didn’t care any more. The only girl I wanted was the one who I kept hurting. I stood up and walked outside behind her. She was sitting on the steps with her head in her knees. I could hear her sniffling back tears. I sat down beside her and she rested her head on my shoulder. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

She brought her hand up and wiped away her tears. “I….i don’t have you…I can’t say that you mine anymore…. Because now your Karli’s…”
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