How to Write Clearly, Edwin A. Abbott [most recommended books TXT] 📗

will live to be the admiration of that (a) hour when all of us are mute and most of us forgotten: (b) (38) has told you that prudence is (52) the first of virtues, and (52) can never be used in the cause of vice."

(a) Though "of the day" is a recognized expression for "ephemeral" or "transitory," yet to use "day" for a short time, and "hour" for a longer, is objectionable. Write moment for day. Else write future for hour. (b) "—this gentleman has told &c."

66. "To see the British artisan and his wife on the Sabbath, neat and clean and cheerful, with their children by their sides, (a) (19) disporting themselves under the open canopy of heaven, is (15) pleasant."

(a) There is no reasonable ground for mistaking the sense here, as the context makes it clear; but since Lord Shaftesbury was questioned whether he meant disporting to qualify "artisan and his wife" or "children," write "and, by their sides, their children disporting &c."

67. "Even if (a) it were attended with extenuating circumstances, such conduct would deserve severe reprobation, (b) and it is the more called for because it would seem that (c) it was the intention of the author of the crime, in perpetrating (e) it, to inflict all the misery that was possible, upon his victim." See (5).

(a) Omit "it were." (b) "which." (c) "to have been." (d) Express "author of the crime" in one word. (e) Use the noun.

68. "The (a) (1) observance of the heavenly bodies must have been attended with great difficulties, (b) (30) before the telescope was (a) (1) discovered, and it is not to be wondered at if the investigations of astronomers were often unsatisfactory, and failed to produce complete (a) (1) persuasion, (30) (15, a) under these disadvantages."

(a) What is the difference between "observance" and "observation," "discover" and "invent," "persuasion" and "conviction"? (b) Begin "Before &c."

69. "He plunged into the sea once more, (30) not content with his previous exertions. After a long and dangerous struggle, he succeeded in reaching a poor woman that was crying piteously for help, and (a) (35) was at last hauled safely to shore."

(a) Point put and remedy the ambiguity by inserting "he" or by writing "who," according to the meaning.

70. "Sir John Burgoyne himself, face to face with Todleben, became (a) (1) conscious of the difference between the fortifications of San Sebastian and of Sebastopol, (b) which (10 e) was (c) (12) very weak compared with Metz or Paris."

(a) What is the exact meaning of conscious? (b) Avoid the relative, by repeating the name, with a conjunction, (c) "weakness itself."

71. "Upon Richard's leaving the (c) stage, the Commonwealth was again set up; and the Parliament which Cromwell had (a) broken was brought together; but the army and they fell into new disputes: so they were again (a) broken by the army: and upon that the nation was like to fall into (b) (11) great convulsions."

(a) Modern Eng., "broken up." (b) "violently convulsed." (c) It is a question whether this metaphor is in good taste. The meaning is that Richard "retired from public life." It might be asserted that Richard, the Commonwealth, the Parliament are regarded as so many puppets on a "stage." But this is extremely doubtful. Make Parliament the principal subject: "When Richard retired … and when the Commonwealth &c…. the Parliament was … but, falling into a dispute with &c., it was…." See (18) and (43).

72. "What a revolution in the military profession! He began with (a) (11) unnecessary formality, and (b) (11) inefficient weapons, and ended with (c) (b) (11) greatly improved fire-arms."

(a) "pig-tail and pipe-clay." (b) "Six-pounders and flint-locks" are now inefficient compared with "twenty-four-pounders and breech-loaders." (c) Something is wanted antithetical to (a), perhaps "loose drill" or "open order."

73. "Children fear to go in the dark. Men fear death in the same way. The fear of children is increased by tales. So is the fear of death. The contemplation of death, as the 'wages of sin,' and passage to another world, is holy and religious. The fear of it, as a tribute due unto nature, is weak. In religious meditations on death there is sometimes mixture of vanity and of superstition."

Insert connecting adverbs or conjunctions. See (44).

74. "I have often heard him reiterate (54) repeatedly that he would never again, if a safe (54) and secure path was open to him, prefer the perilous (54) road of danger, however alluring (54) and attractive the latter might be."

75. "I thought in my dream that when my friend asked me whether I did not observe anything curious in the conduct of the pigeons, I (a) (4 a) remarked that if any one of the birds was so bold as to take an atom from a heap of grain in the midst of them, (31) (which (b) a detachment guarded, and which, being continually increased and never eaten, seemed useless), all the rest turned against him and pecked him to death for the (c) (50) action."

(a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) This should come earlier in the sentence, and not as a parenthesis. "I noticed a heap of grain in the midst of them, guarded by … Being continually …, to all appearance, useless: yet." (c) "theft."

76. "If this low view of the royal office becomes generally adopted, then sovereigns who (8) have always hitherto commanded the respect of Englishmen will by degrees fall into disrespect."

Point out the ambiguity. Show how it might be removed (a) by punctuation, (b) by altering "who."

77. "I struck the man in self-defence. I explained this to the magistrate. He would not believe me. Witnesses were called to support my statements. He committed me to prison. He had the right to do this. It is a right that is rarely exercised in such circumstances. I remonstrated."

See (44). Insert conjunctions or connecting adverbs.

78. "He attained a very distinguished position by mere (15) perseverance and common sense, which (52) (10 a) qualities are perhaps mostly underrated, (30) though he was deficient in tact and not remarkable for general ability."

79. "Vindictiveness, which (a) (50) is a fault, (b) and which may be defined as anger (10 a) which is caused not by sin nor by crime but by personal injury, ought to be carefully distinguished from resentment, which (a) (50) is a virtue, (b) and which is anger (49) which is natural and (c) right caused by an act (d) which is unjust, because it is unjust, (30 a) not because it is inconvenient."

(a) "The fault of vindictiveness;" "the virtue of resentment." (b) Omit (c) "Right" cannot be used as an adjective, but "righteous" can. (d) "an act of injustice."

80. "(a) He told his friend that (a) his brother was surprised that (a) he had given so small a contribution, for (a) he was (b) (12) a very rich man, in spite of (a) his recent losses and the bad state of trade, (19) (30) compared with himself."

(a) Use (6). (b) What Asian king was proverbial for wealth?

81. "(a) (15 b) It must be indeed wrong to (a) crucify a Roman citizen if to (b) (32) slay one is almost parricide, to (b) scourge him is a monstrous crime, and to (b) bind him is an outrage."

(a) "What must it be…?" (b) See (40).

82. "The universal (54) opinion of all the citizens was that the citadel had been (15) betrayed, (30) having been captured in broad daylight by a very small number of the enemy, and those unprovided with scaling ladders, and admitted by a postern gate, (15 a) and much wearied by a long march."

In any case "betrayed" must come at the end of a sentence. The sentence may be converted into two sentences: "The citadel had been captured…. Naturally therefore …;" or, "The opinion … for it had been captured…." Else, if one sentence be used, write "As the citadel had been captured &c."

83. "This author surpassed all those who were living (a) at the same time with him in the forcible (b) manner in which he could address (c) an appeal to the popular sympathy, and in the ease with which he could draw towards (a) himself the hearts of his readers."

(a) Express in one word. (b) "force with." (c) Omit.

84. "This great statesman was indeed a pillar of commerce, and a star in the financial world. He guided or impelled the people from the quicksands of Protection and false political economy to the safe harbour of Free Trade; and (a) (14 a) saved the country several millions."

(a) It would be well to literalize the preceding metaphors. Else the literal statement must be changed into a metaphor.

85. "The ministers were most unwilling to meet the Houses, (a) (43) (51) because even the boldest of them (though their counsels were lawless (15) and desperate) had too much value for his (b) (11) personal safety to think of resorting to the (c) (12) unlawful modes of extortion that had been familiar to the preceding age."

(a) Begin a new sentence with "Lawless and desperate though their counsels had been &c." (b) "neck." (c) Insert some of these unlawful modes, "benevolences, ship-money, and the other &c."

86. "We will not (a) (15) pretend to guess what our grandchildren may think of the character of Lord Byron, as exhibited in (15 a) his poetry." No writer ever had the whole eloquence of scorn, misanthropy, and (a) (15) despair (15 a) so completely at his command. That fountain (b) (12) of bitterness was never dry."

(a) "We will not pretend to guess" and "despair" are intended by the author to be emphatic. (b) "Marah."

87. "The captain asked to be allowed fifty men, a supply of food, and one hundred and fifty breech-loaders. (44) The general replied coldly that he could not let his subordinate have (a) (4) anything that he wanted. (44) The captain was forced to set out (34) with an insufficient force, spite of the superabundance of soldiers doing nothing in the camp (34), and with every obstacle put in his way by a general who from the first had resolved not even to give him ordinary assistance, (b) (10 a') which the captain had for some time anticipated."

(a) Point out and remove the ambiguity. (b) Write, according to