How to Write Clearly, Edwin A. Abbott [most recommended books TXT] 📗

the meaning, " … assistance that" or " … a resolution that."

88. "I am a practical man, and disbelieve in everything (8) which is not practical; theories (a) which amuse philosophers and pedants have no attractions for me, (30) for this reason."

(a) What difference in the meaning would be caused by the use of "that" for the second "which"?

89. "Yet, when that discovery drew no other severity but the (11 a) turning (a) him out of office, and the (11 a) passing a sentence (b) condemning him to die for it (31) (which was presently pardoned, and he was after a short confinement restored to his liberty), all men believed that the king knew of the letter, (c) (43) and that (6 b) the pretended confession of the secretary was only collusion to lay the jealousies of the king's (d) (11 a) favouring popery, (e) (43) which still hung upon him, (30) notwithstanding his (e) writing on the Revelation, and his (e) affecting to enter on all occasions into controversy, (e) asserting in particular that the Pope was Antichrist."

(a) "expulsion from." (b) "a pretended sentence to death—a pretence that was soon manifested by his pardon and liberation." (c) Begin a new sentence: "'The secretary's pretended confession,' it was said, 'was &c.'" (d) "the suspicion that the king favoured Popery." (e) The juxtaposition of the two verbal nouns, "writing" and "affecting," with the participle "asserting," is harsh. Write, "For, notwithstanding that he affected controversy, and attacked the Pope as Antichrist in his treatise on the Book of Revelation, the king was still suspected."

90. "The opinion that the sun is fixed was once too (a) (1) universal to be easily shaken, and a similar prejudice has often (b) rendered the progress of new inventions (15 a) very slow, (19) arising from the numbers of the believers, and not (36) the reasonableness of the belief."

(a) Write "general." Show the absurdity of appending "too" to "universal." (b) What single word can be substituted for "rendered slow"?

91. "The rest of the generals were willing to surrender unconditionally, (30) depressed by this unforeseen calamity; (4) only the young colonel, who retained his presence of mind, represented to them that they were increasing the difficulties of a position in itself very difficult (19) (15, a) by their conduct."

92. "To (a) (31) an author who is, in his expression of any sentiment, wavering between the (b) demands of perspicuity and energy (of which the (c) (40 a) former of course requires the first care, lest (40 a) he should fail of both), and (37) doubting whether the (d) phrase which (8) has (e) the most force and brevity will be (f) readily taken (g) in, it may (h) (3) be recommended to use both (d) expressions; first, (h) to expound the sense sufficiently to be clearly understood, and then (i) to contract it into the most compendious and striking form."

(a) Write "When an author &c." (b) Can be omitted. (c) Assimilate the constructions: "Of which the former must, of course, be aimed at first, lest both be missed." (d) Use "expression" or else "phrase" in both places. (e) Assimilate the construction to what follows; write "that is most forcible and brief." (f) Insert "also." (g) "understood." (h) "let him use …; first let him expound." (i) Omit.

93. "When I say 'a great man,' I not (22) only mean a man intellectually great but also morally, (38) who (8) has no preference for diplomacy (a) (23) at all events which (10 a) is mean, petty, and underhanded to secure ends which (8) can be secured by an honest policy equally (20) well, (38) who (8) does not resemble Polonius, (b) who prefers to get at truth by untruthful tricks, and (b) who considers truth a carp which (10 g) is to be caught by the bait falsehood. We cannot call a petty intriguer great (c), (30) though we may be forced to call an unscrupulous man by that (15 a) name."

(a) "at all events no preference." (b) Why is who right here? If you like, you can write, "does not, like Polonius, prefer … and consider." (c) End with "we cannot give the name to a petty intriguer."

94. "I regret that I have some (a) (3) intelligence which (10 a) is of a most (3) painful nature, and which I must tell you at once, though (b) I should like to defer it on (c) (40 a) account of your ill-health, and because (c) (40 a) you have already had many troubles, and (40 a) owing to the natural dislike which (8) a friend must always feel to say that (10 f) which is unpleasant. Many old friends in this district have turned against you: I scarcely like to write the words: only (21) I remain faithful to you, and I am sure you will believe that I am doing that (10 f) which is best for your interests."

(a) "news." (b) In a letter these words should remain is they are; but if a period is desired, they must (30) come last, after "unpleasant." (c) Write "because of your ill-health … and the troubles … and because of…."

95. "The general at once sent back word that the enemy had suddenly appeared on the other side of the river, and [(35) or (37)] then (a) retreated. (b) It was thought that (b) it would have shown more (c) (1) fortitude on his (3) part if he had attacked the fortifications, (d) which were not tenable for more than a week at all events. Such was the (54) universal opinion, at (23) least, of (54) all the soldiers."

(a) Point out the ambiguity. (b) "It was thought he would have shown &c." (c) Distinguish between "fortitude" and "bravery." (d) What would be the meaning if "that" were substituted for "which"? It will be perhaps better to substitute for "which," "since they."

96. "A notion has sprung up that the Premier, though he can legislate, cannot govern, and has attained an influence which renders it imperative, if this Ministry is to go on, that (a) it should be dispersed."

(a) Who or what "has attained"? Write "and this notion has become so powerful that, unless it is dispersed…."

97. "Those who are habitually silent (a) (3) by disposition and morose are less liable to the fault of exaggerating than those who are habitually (a) (3) fond of talking, and (40 a) of (a) (3) a pleasant disposition."

(a) Each of these periphrases must be condensed into a single adjective.

98. "This author, (a) (31) though he is not (b) altogether (c) guiltless of (b) occasional (c) faults of exaggeration, which are to be found as plentifully in his latest works as in those which he (d) published when he was beginning his career as an author, yet, notwithstanding these (e) defects, surpassed all those who were living at the (f) same time with him in the clear (g) manner in which he could, as it were, see into the feelings of the people at large, and in the power—a power that indeed could not be (f) resisted—with which he drew (f) toward himself the sympathy of those who (f) perused his works." See (54).

(a) Convert the parenthesis into a separate sentence. (b) One of these words is unnecessary. (c) One of these is unnecessary. (d) Condense: "his earliest." (e) Omit these words as unnecessary. (f) Express all this in one word. (g) "clearness with."

99. "Among the North (a) (23) American Indians I had indeed heard of the perpetration of similar atrocities; but it seemed intolerable that such things should occur in a civilized land: and I rushed from the room at once, leaving the wretch where he stood, with his tale half told, (30) horror-stricken at his crime."

(a) Make it evident whether the speaker once lived among the North American Indians, or not, and show who is "horror-stricken."

100. "His (1) bravery under this painful operation and the (1) fortitude he had shown in heading the last charge in the recent action, (30) though he was wounded at the time and had been unable to use his right arm, and was the only officer left in his regiment, out of twenty who were alive the day before, (19) inspired every one with admiration."

Begin, "Out of twenty officers &c…. Though wounded &c…. he had headed." "The bravery he had then shown and…."

101. "Moral as well as (41) other considerations must have weight when we are selecting an officer (a) that (10 b) will be placed in a position that will task his intelligence (b) (18) and his fidelity."

(a) The repetition of "that" is objectionable. Use "to fill." (b) "and" can be replaced by some other conjunction to suit what precedes.

102. "It happened that at this time there were a few Radicals in the House who (8) could not forgive the Prime Minister for being a Christian."

Point out the difference of meaning, according as we read "who" or "that."

103. "It cannot be doubted (15 b) that the minds of a vast number of men would be left poor shrunken things, full of melancholy and indisposition, and unpleasing to themselves, if (32) there were taken out of men's minds vain opinions, false valuations, imaginations as one (a) would, and the (15 a) like."

(a) The meaning (which cannot easily be more tersely expressed than in the original) is "castles in the air," "pleasant fancies."

104. "God never wrought a miracle to refute atheism, because His ordinary works refute it. (a) A little philosophy inclines man's mind to atheism: depth in philosophy brings men's minds back to religion. (44) While the mind of man looks upon second causes scattered, it may sometimes rest in them; (44) when it beholds the chain of them confederate and linked together, it must needs acknowledge a Providence. (44) That school which is most accused of atheism most clearly demonstrates the truth of religion."

(a) Insert a suspensive conjunction. See (34).

105. "The spirit of Liberty and the spirit of Nationality were once for all dead; (a) (5) it might be for a time a pious duty, but it could not continue always expedient or (c) (15) (18) profitable to (b) (13) mourn (c) (15 a) for their loss. Yet this is the (b) (13) feeling of the age of Trajan."

(a) Omit. (b) "To sit weeping by their grave;" "attitude." (c) Notice that "expedient or profitable" are emphatic, as is shown by "yet" in the