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Life Sucks
 
 
He pushed me against a locker. His name is Billy Paers. Billy and I are enemies. My closest friends, Michael, Logan, and Nina rushed to save me. Nina touched her cell phone in her pocket and Billy let go. " I'm warning you, Grass." Billy said. Billy has dark brown hair and wears a leather jacket. Nina has black hair, and is mostly Mexican. She is Ms. Popular. Logan has red hair, and his only friend is me. Michael has black hair and looks a lot like Nina. "He really got you, Tobias," Logan said. l wanted to punch him. l moved a blond bang out of my face.That's when l saw her. The most beautiful girl l'd ever seen.My stomach choked with butterflies. Nina took notice. "That's my sister, Sophia." she said. But why would she want to date a fat nerd like me? l thought. l weigh nearly 200 pounds and have a huge belly. My brother, Tony is slightly overweight. He was the one who picked me up.


"Whassup Squirt?"

"Nothing."

" You look like you found a girl you have no chance with."

"Shut up." "l knew it! l lost one pound today."

" Whatever."

l was a little jealous.Tony rubbed his stomach. " l'm starving. You hungry?" "Yes." We stopped at the Kwik Shop. " Don't tell Mom I did this." Tony said. l waited in the car. Tony brought back one big bag of chips for me and some nuts for himself as a joke. Mom was home when we returned.We left the food in Tony's car. " What's for dinner? Tuna casserole? " Tony asked. Mom nodded. Mom is raven-haired like Nina and has blue eyes. She scurried around. Cleaning,obviously. Mom is a health nut and a clean freak at the same time. At that moment, Dad walked in, looking a little depressed. Dad is unlike Mom in a lot of ways.

But they rarely fight. Dad is a platinum blond." I am starved." Dad said. l could feel my own stomach growling. l thought for a moment about my stomach. l'm overweight and a total geek at the same time. We sat down to eat. " Honey, I got fired today." Mom nearly choked. "WHAT?!?!?!" Mom said. " Let's talk about it when the boys aren't around." Dad said. l began to think about how l'd felt when l saw Sophia. My heart practically burst out of my chest, l could barely breathe, my stomach was bursting with butterflies, and my mind was racing. Before l knew it, we were stacking dishes in the dishwasher. l let my dog Girlfriend, in. I named her Girlfriend because l wished l had a girlfriend. My dog is a Shetland. She is loud and annoying. Mom wanted something calm and pampered, like a poodle or shi tzu. Or even a chihuaha. (Even though chiuahas are not calm and they can be overprotective.) But we ended up getting a shetland. She jumped up and down on my leg. l ignored her. " Tobias, we think she's pregnant." Mom said. My heart skipped a few beats. "Pregnant? How could she be pregnant? l thought we had her spayed. Is there a male dog around?" l asked. Mom shrugged. "The vet gave her rabies vaccines. He didn't really spay her. And there's been a stray Queensland heeler hanging around." l felt guilty. l should have made sure, l silently berated myself.


The next day I was lumbering around my classes. "How's you, Grass?" Billy asked. "I feel terrible." Out of the corner of my eye l saw Miss Lily. Miss Lily was the new home economics teacher. She was really pretty. Blond and young, sexy and cute. (Can you tell I have a little crush on her?) l figured she had overheard. " Good." Billy said. Then he punched me in the stomach. Just as l was picking up my books he punched me again. Miss Lily took me to the nurse's office. "Pull up your shirt, Mr. Grass." the nurse said. Although l felt embarassed to have a beautiful woman look at my midsection, l pulled up my shirt anyway. " And your undershirt," the nurse said. l pulled it up. A big black bruise was in the the middle. The nurse called my parents. Mom picked me up. Mom was worried when I got home, Dad looked mad. "What happened sweetheart?" Mom asked. I told them everything.

l took Girlfriend outside. l grabbed the ball thrower. Girlfriend knew what that meant. Our backyard is basically a HUGE field. My dog raced about twenty nine yards away. She brought back her favorite toy. We played for half an hour before Mom called me to dinner. Dad mentioned something about a super high paying job. Girlfriend begged for a scrap. Several pieces of chicken fell to the floor. My dog lapped them up. She loves chicken. We found that out when we went on a hike in western Kansas, and she caught a prairie chicken and tried to eat it. But a coyote snatched it from her. She chased him around the meadow , until he swam across a deep stream. The whole thing was pretty funny.

When we were done, l walked into my bedroom, and turned on my radio.l laid on my bed for a while. Girlfriend bounded in my room and jumped on my belly. It hurt,but l didn't say anything. l thought about Sophia. l felt the same way l had when l first saw her. The next three school days were canceled. l got up, took a shower, put a red shirt and black jeans on,and after l put shoes on and combed my hair, l went outside to water the yard and Mom's plants. l heard a familiar " Hey, dork!" l glanced up. Billy rode by. He tossed a bomb into the yard. l stepped back and fell on my behind. Suddenly green smoke began to pour out. It's a smokebomb, l realized. l got the feeling he rode by just to annoy me. l guessed that he had saved the smokebomb from Independence Day. Dad ran out.

"Tobias! Are you okay?" His eyes were wild and he sounded panicked. No way l could possibly lie to him. He had seen the whole thing.

"No, l'm not." l saw Mom on the porch. She turned the hose off and threw the bomb away. " Dishwater headed loser!" Billy cried as he passed. Dad helped me up and into the house. Mom looked upset,then went berserk. " How could he call Tobias that?" " I'm a dishwater blond," Tony said." No you're not, and you're not a dirty blond, either!" l could not take much more. l ran into my bedroom. l thought about Sophia. l didn't notice Girlfriend, who was sniffing my jeans and licking my face.

l noticed a book called, "What Girls Really Want. A Guys Guide To Girls." Without thinking, l picked it up,and set it on my desk. l got a gut feeling that l would regret not reading it until it was too late. l ignored the feeling and fed my dog. The next day, l was on the computer, trying to finish a math assignment for Mr. Johnson. Mr. Johnson is my math teacher. He is tall, with a muscular torso,and short blond hair with big brown eyes. All the nonmarried female teachers have at least a little crush on him. Actually, so do most of the married women. 

Most of the students like him as well. My other teachers include two Mr.Reeds. They are brothers. The history Mr.Reed is average sized, and he basically has no muscles and no fat. He has brown, curly hair. He's the younger of the brothers. His brother is Mr. Johnson's height, but he does not weigh 200 pounds in a good way. He's not fat, but he's not skinny either.My English teacher is Mr.Kurl.Which is kind of ironically strange, because he has dark curly hair. The science Mr. Reed has a crush on the guidance counselor, Miss Cara Ridda. She is very pretty, with red hair, light skin, and hazel eyes. l have seen her before. l remembered that some of the dorks you see in the movies wear contacts or glasses. l felt lucky, then felt bad. l thought about Sophia. l caught myself thinking,"She WILL be mine."

Monday started okay. The two best parts were when Mr. Johnson caught Billy trying to stick a note that said "Fat geek" onto my shirt. An even better part was, right before l walked into history, Sophia actually said," Hi, Tobias.". l could not stop thinking, She knows my name! l was still smiling when Tony picked me up. " Hi, big guy," he said.l ignored him. Tuesday was terrible. Billy stuck a note that said " Fattest dork" on my shirt. l didn't know it was there until a plain boy named Marco mentioned it. Sophia did not say much to me but "Where's Nina?" "Girls bathroom." At that moment, Nina came out,putting lip gloss on. "Hi, Muffincake." Behind Sophia was Billy. "She's mine,not yours." Billy slapped me really hard on the chest. I doubled over, gasping for breath. "Tobias!" Mr. Reed the science teacher hurried to my side. "I'm fine, really." l lied. Mr.Reed sniffed at me, then cleaned his glasses."The nurse still needs to see you,Tobias Shane Grass. And no offense, but you're a bad liar. l'll take care of Billy." The nurse looked unhappy when l walked in. " l really wish you'd learn to comeback." she said, as she studied the new bruise. l felt completely embarassed. " We'd better call your father," the nurse said. l knew that the nurse happened to be really good friends with Dad. Dad had most likely told her what happened.Soon l was in Dad's car. He was quiet the whole time. He was feeling depressed.When we got home,my stomach growled loudly. " Are you hungry?" Dad asked. "Yes." "So am l. l'll put something in the stove" Dad rubbed his blond head, and searched for something for lunch. He found meatloaf." Your mother's been meaning to cook this." he said. After we finished eating, my favorite show, NUMB3RS came on. Dad joined me on the couch,sipping red wine. Girlfriend decided to lay down at my feet. "He's going to trip over you or step on your tail, dog." Dad said. She pretended not to hear him. A few hours later, Tony walked in. He poured himself a glass of water and took a sip. When Mom came home l cornered her and asked " Which shirts look good on me?" " Your red shirt looks good on you. That grey shirt with the skull looks good. Almost all your shirts look good on you. Why?" I told her what l was thinking. " Sophia sounds like she wants to stand up for you." " Her look really says I think you're fat and stupid." Mom laughed and said " Oh Tobias," like she did when l used to say l hated girls. Now l love girls. But l don't know how to talk to them.

Later l was on YouTube.I was looking at random videos when l saw it: Sophias Vanity and Purse Tour. l clicked on it without thinking. "Hi everyone," she said. "l'm here for you, gorgeous," l said out loud. " So l'm going to be doing a What's In My Purse video. Then I'll do a vanity and room tour." l watched the whole thing. " lnterested in her?" said a voice. l spun around. Tony. " l don't know. She goes to my school. She's popular." l said.Tony walked away. The next

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